Every once in a while, I take a break and think about where I am going, what I have done and if there be any area in me that I should change and new habits, values or concepts that I should adopt. In other words, a simple self-evaluation to ensure that I do not maintain status quo.
If there is no change, there is no growth. With growth, there can be greater self-development. Any resistance to change means we will be static. However, I realize that if I truly desire to have a better marriage, more life balance, higher self-esteem, train better behaved children, or build more quality friendships, then I honestly need to embrace change.
Sadly, the harsh reality of life shows us that so many of us focus on changing other people around us, even though we know deep down this doesn’t work. I still remember that when I first started going steady with my husband in 1977, I used to tell him - please change in this area and that. His response was simple. Why don’t you change first? Why don’t you accept me for who I am? Thirty two years down the road, we don't say such things anymore because along the way, we have learnt to accept and love each other for who we are. More importantly, we understand the psychological make-up of each person and reach out to meet the other person's needs instead of our own needs.
As I approach middle age, I realize that there are many answers to this question. First, you will be happier if you are continually growing and learning. You can only be responsible for you. When you change, people will follow. Lastly, by living your life to the fullest, you contribute to making the world a better place to live. So somewhere in the late 1990's, I gave up trying to change him but focused instead on changing myself. That brought about a real breakthrough.
Sigh. Let’s face it. Change is difficult. We are creatures of habit, and many of our behaviour patterns were learned in childhood. Maybe those forms of behavior served us at one time, but eventually we will be called to change if we want some part of our life to be different. Here are five aspects of change that I have learned through all the knocks of life I have experienced, especially in the last six years.
1. Action
You can read every self-help book, attend seminars, or talk with people about how they’ve made changes, but unless you actually take action, nothing is going to happen. Of course gaining knowledge helps. However, it’s only the first step to change. For example, when I was younger, I had an anger management problem. I decided to change when I realized how it could affect my health and so I took steps to resolve anger such as counting to 10 before I responded, moving away from the conflict situation because I knew I had to do something different to conquer my anger issues.
2. Focus
To focus, you need a vision and a plan. I thought of how I wanted my life to be different, and how to change it. For every change I wanted to create, I normally pick two or three things I can do to support that change and stick to them. And then I try those things for a substantial period of time before I move on to something else.
3. Discipline
This is what will carry you through when the going gets tough. Anyone can stick to change for a week or two. It takes a disciplined mindset to make lasting change. You have to be able to pick yourself up when you fall down, brush yourself off, and try again. Discipline can help us to develop a lifestyle change for us that can tremendously improve his hitting and his confidence.
4. Courage
The number one reason we resist change is fear. Sometimes it can be scary to change. It is much more comfortable to maintain status quo. It is normal to feel fear, but yet it is so crippling. To have courage is to not feel fear, but to push through the fear. Then I can learn something about myself. I am capable of conquering fear, and I am typing this to tell you about it.
5. Support
Change requires supportive people in your life who believe in you and who will encourage you on your journey. We need someone to hold you accountable for what you say you’re going to do. You need friends and family members that won’t let you give up. You need love and understanding when you are struggling. Now, I surround myself with loving and helpful people even if they are few in number. Finally, we need to put God at the center of our live. Some changes are so difficult, but all things are possible with God. So, what are we waiting for? Time to change….
3 comments to TIME TO CHANGE
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Walt Change?? Paula, after looking at this I had to come back. I think you will enjoy this change as much as I did. I love working with make-up.
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Unknown Dear Walt,
Thank you for being so supportive and understanding.
I know I have said it many times, but it really matters to me to have real and supportive people as friends - not that I need a crutch but because I communicate sincerely, I hope to do so with real people as well.
And thanks so much for the link to Audrey Hepburn's make up but er I don't use make up heheheh....But thanks dear Walt.
Thanks Walt...God bless you too and keep you safe.
warmest wishes
Walt I believe in you and will encourage you on your journey.
Whatever change you make; it will be good for me too. Yes, I even wish I were in Malaysia. I do not want to be here when the bloody war starts. May God bless, and keep you safe always. Walter