masterwordsmith-unplugged

What is approval? It is the acceptance as satisfactory. The act of giving validity. We seek approval to satisfy our desire to be loved. If someone approves of some event or occurrence that happens in our lives, we feel appreciated. Whether this appreciation comes from our parents, spouse, or friends, we feel acceptance and make a mental note to ourselves saying “I did something, and they’re pleased.”

Why we look outside ourselves for this approval is one of the mysteries of life that plays out every day in our world. It is like being in grade school, where the teacher passes out stars for exemplary work. Stars were, even then, classified in order of acceptance–gold, silver, bronze, etc.

Most people, on an intellectual level, don’t believe they need anyone else’s approval. But have you ever asked someone at one time or another, “How do I look?” There you have it! For those who are self-assured, the phrase would have been “I look good, don’t I?” accompanied by a big smile. When you are sure of yourself and sure of your path in life, you do not look for or seek another’s approval.

Acknowledgment is different from approval.

Allowing someone else to say you look great does not change who you are nor the mood or spirit you are in at the time. Seeking approval can paralyze your life because you become dependent on others to tell you whether you are doing the right thing at the right time. It is like sitting in the driver’s seat of your car waiting for someone to give you the keys so you can rev it up and hit the road. Isn’t it foolish to believe, to take the analogy further, that you can live your life waiting for someone else to give you the keys?

Ask yourself, “Do I know what I know now because someone gave me the knowledge or his approval?” Is there ever a time when approval from another is necessary? Yes, if you work for an employer who wants a task performed in a certain manner. But in life scenarios where outside approval is not required, why would you seek another’s approval when he is on a path of life that may not be the same as your own?

The soul never seeks approval, only man.

If you still want approval, then approve of yourself and how you want to live your life.

Now, with an inner knowing, say to yourself, “There is no one above me other than God that I seek approval from.” If this is the case, how can anyone give you the approval you crave other than the Universe?

I often question the term “they” because I want to know who “they” are.
Who are these Universally appointed, highly evolved, all-knowing, intelligent people that keep a person from moving forward? Digging a little deeper will likely reveal that the “they” most people talk about are their own fears. And amidst this search for praise from others, what most people are looking for is a way to put off the choice of making a decision, a decision that requires the energy of a self-assured, self-aware, and confident person. How might you look at approval? Well, when you regularly seek approval, it shows that you are not sure about yourself, so how can anyone be sure about you?

Sometimes we are so concerned about the way approval is supposed to look or be packaged that part of ourselves that craves approval totally misses it. We then continue on a path of self-sabotage, trying to recreate the emotion of approval in another way.

Like letting a writer pen the screenplay to your life while you sit and anticipate the outcome, some people turn their lives over to others to dictate what, how, and when they should feel. Then as you read the screenplay of your life, you want to cry. Why? Because the “they” have given you a script that you can’t live up to, or have created a character that you don’t want to be. Wouldn’t it just be easier to accept the fact that you don’t need anyone’s approval other than your own and your Creator’s?

Most people have not taken the time to become whole within themselves.
While searching for a confirmation of who they are and what they believe, they constantly look to sources outside of themselves for acceptance and thus slowly relinquish personal responsibility to others.

Think of yourself as a cup. When the water in the cup is not filled to the top, there is room for something else or someone else to fill it.
Whether those empty spaces are filled with love, light, or negativity, it does not matter to the Universe, as long as they are being filled.
What does matter is that you choose what your cup is filled with because if you are not filling it with much-needed love, understanding, and the teachings of infinite wisdom, anyone can come fill your cup with whom and what they are (negative or positive), whether you need it or not and whether you like it or not.

In your quest to become whole, doesn’t filling your cup with self-love sound better than allowing someone to pour mud into it? Whoever fills the cup gains control of the mind and hence your life. Whose cup is it anyway? Filling your cup on your own, with your own truths, your own acquired knowledge, desires, goals, and dreams, can bring you a sense of peace. If you are fulfilling these obligations to yourself, you will no longer need to search for answers outside of those already springing forth from your inner self.

There are many ways to find out who you are: through work, art, literature, music, and the earth. However, we tend to look toward others when this journey should be one of a personal, spiritual nature. It is important to know that those to whom you look for guidance are probably looking, too! The spirit, the ever-flowing part of the Universe that connects all of us and every living thing and inanimate object, must be the source that fills us, not the Guru on the mountain.

Who Are You?
The more you become aware of who you are, the greater your signal out to the Universe…and the greater the signal, the greater the connection. It’s up to you to keep your connection to the Universe. No one else is responsible for your life.

Words are not essential; it is the essence of who you are that is moving the energy. It is focused thought and energy in motion that creates. If you want to keep real momentum, you must constantly re-educate and reprogram yourself on what is happening now. Otherwise, you will struggle, physically and mentally, from that lower level. That struggle and stress will take their toll on the body sooner or later, resulting in illness and disease.

How might you make a smooth transition? Do your homework. Do the research to disclose the latest trends, processes, and data. Let go of old habits and beliefs that do not apply to the now. Start implementing tangible changes in your environment that stimulate productivity; get advice from a life coach or another professional who has a specialty in your area of interest; and network-exchange and share information.

-Written by Ehryck Gilmore

About the Author:
This article was written by Ehryck F. Gilmore, contributing author to
“101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2.” Ehryck is a certified hypnotherapist, life coach, empowerment coach, intuitive counselor, and author. He is also a master practitioner of neuro-linguistic programming. Visit his website is http://www.ehryckgilmore.com

His article above is one of 101 great chapters that can be found in “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2.” This powerful compilation book — with John Gray, Jack Canfield, Richard Carlson, Bob Proctor, Alan Cohen, and countless other experts — contains 101 chapters of proven advice on how to improve your life.