HAPPIER FRIENDS = HAPPIER YOU

Posted by Unknown On Thursday, June 18, 2009 6 comments
Happy people tend to be found in the company of other happy people, while unhappy people are likely to spend time with unhappy people. You are probably saying, "Yes, that's right." You may have thought about this relationship before, or you may just now be scanning through a mental list of people you know and finding the correlation. Either way, it is a matter of personal experience that both happy and unhappy people tend to mingle with others having a similar degree of happiness. Why is this true? Are happiness and unhappiness infectious?

Several factors are at work. First, let's say that I am an unhappy and negative person. I depress the emotions of those with whom I come in contact. As a result, happy positive people try to avoid me as much as they can, while unhappy people, plus any previously happy people who are bound to me through family or career, are further depressed by contact with me. I tend to feel uncomfortable around happy people because I'm jealous of their happiness, while I create a misery-loves-company kind of bond with other unhappy people.

If I am a happy person, all this works in reverse. I uplift the emotions of those I come in contact with. As a result, happy positive people love being in my company. Unhappy people, however, either respond to my joyful positivity, thus beginning their journey toward their own happiness, or they find themselves feeling frustrated and jealous, and sever their relationship with me. I become even happier when I am around other happy people, while I tend to feel uncomfortable around unhappy people, and will tend to avoid them to the extent that doing so does not conflict with my commitment toward those people.

People sort themselves into groups of happy people and unhappy people through two different, but complementary mechanisms, influence and affinity. I influence those around me with my emotional state, either happy or unhappy. At the same time, I feel an affinity for others who are like me in some way - in this case by sharing my emotional outlook on life.

While we can observe the effect of clusters of happy and unhappy people in our lives, quantifying this effect is beyond our personal experience. A large-scale long-term research study published in 2008 by James Fowler of UC San Diego and Nicholas Christakis of Harvard Medical School documented the profound effect a happy, or unhappy, person has on their acquaintances. This study showed that you are 15 percent more likely to be happy because you are in contact with someone who is happy; 10 percent if a friend of a friend is happy; and 6 percent if a friend of a friend of a friend is happy. Just think about that - your own happiness has a measurable effect on the happiness of the friends of the friends of your friends. What an amazing power you hold!

In addition, the study revealed that while unhappiness is also infectious, an unhappy person doesn't exert the same influence over large groups as a happy person does. I visualize this difference with the example of a candle being brought into a dark cave. The candle illuminates the darkness rather than the darkness snuffing out the candle.

As a happy person, you radiate happiness to the world. While the study only measured the effect to the third level of acquaintance, visualize your light radiating throughout the world, passing from person to person until the whole earth is uplifted by your happiness.

Affirmation: I shine my light of happiness into the darkness of negativity.


Author's Bio
Read Jonathan's Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote and sign-up for free inspirational daily email.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie is an author of self-awareness books, including co-authoring Simply An Inspired Life. He has been dubbed "The Philosopher of Happiness" by those closest to him, in recognition of his on-going commitment to seeing Joy in all of life.

** Today is your day to dance lightly with life. It really is. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie **

6 comments to HAPPIER FRIENDS = HAPPIER YOU

  1. says:

    Murali Hi MWS, if the percentages are true, i think reading happy articles posted by happy people on happy blogs(like yours of course) easily raises the % of the reader being happy to >30% ;)

    Its a beautiful message you're trying to spread. Nice article ;)
    Take care.

    Regards,
    Murali

  1. says:

    Unknown Hi Murali

    Ah - young man...you are very kind...Thanks :-). But you see, I used to be a grouchy old lady - like what was described in the second paragraph :-) and then I realized that hey -I have only one life and I ain't gonna blow it away with negativism, murmuring and complaints so here I am, a little insane, filled with silly jokes lots of rib cracking oops make that fat rippling laughter :-)...and with all the negativism, pessimism around especially re the state of government or lack of it, what better way to dispel the blues than with posts like this one...:-)

    Take care dear friend. Smile a lot and stay HAPPY ok?

    warmest wishes,
    mws

  1. says:

    Starmandala L. Ron Hubbard came up with a "technical" definition of "happiness" which I find very helpful. Essentially, he stated that what humans call "happiness" is akin to a sense of accomplishment. For instance, if you set out to hit the bull's eye in a game of darts - and succeed on your very first attempt, well, you experience a burst of happiness... which lasts for a short while... until you make another attempt to hit the bull's eye, and so on. In effect, happy people consciously or unconsciously set themselves ACHIEVABLE goals - so that every time they succeed it uplifts their spirits. For us bloggers, happiness is hitting the PUBLISH button on a just completed post and seeing it appear on our blog... and knowing that any number of people from around the world are likely to read and experience a momentary blast of happiness :-)

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Antares,

    Thanks so much for sharing such profound thoughts with us, and a;so Hubbard's definition of happiness.

    Happy people float and revel in their happiness and you are right in saying that we unconsciously aim to another natural high and another..in this way, happiness produces more happiness.

    I have come a long way, my dear friend ...from those 'tragedy queen' days. You will never know, dear Antares, how I realized my malaise only when you called me 'tragedy queen'. All the encouragement, prodding and gentle knocks and advice plus wisdom you injected into me, the positive energy you sent in my direction and the love and friendship shown - all this plus who you are have put me on the path of happiness and for that, I am eternally grateful!!!! Thanks, dearest Antares...

    And you are so right re the click 'PUBLISH' button....to see our post in cyberspace and to know some people all over the world are reading it - gives me so much joy and happiness...

    Thanks for being my mentor, guru, confidante and dear friend.

    Hugs and much love

  1. says:

    Tiger That's why it's important to have friends you can be around with and to talk to.
    Also, it helps if you can generate optimism and contentment from within, then you will first be happy with yourself and then the cheer spreads around too.

  1. says:

    Unknown True, it is important to have happy and optimistic friends who can help keep us on track..but most importantly, we have to keep ourselves happy and to spread the cheer....Thanks for sharing, Tiger.

    Have a lovely weekend.

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