HOW TO GIVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP "STAYING POWER"

Posted by Unknown On Tuesday, June 9, 2009 8 comments
It is not easy to maintain a relationship or a marriage. It takes a lot of effort, commitment, tolerance, patience, understanding, acceptance etc. Here are six tips that help keep couples together long after they tie the knot, (and after many of their friends and acquaintances have decided to divorce).

TIP#1 -- CONTINUE DATING

Over the years, people often drift apart. Relationships and marriages become stale because couples fail to do new and special things together. That's why going on new and refreshing dates is so important. In fact, there is something about "dating" that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and can even bring relationships out of a rut.

While on a date, you also put more effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together. This creates more intimacy.

Stuck for ideas? Spend the day visiting an historic part of the city, have lunch at a new café', go the zoo or museum, the aquarium, take a drive to the next town or city and spend a few hours out of familiar surroundings.

TIP#2 -- DELAY IS OFTEN BETTER

It's a well-documented statistic that couples that have dated for a year or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period. A year of dating gives time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may see the halo around your mate's head in the summer, but start to see some horns coming out by wintertime.
Then you wonder, "Who is this person?"

TIPS#3 -- ALWAYS EXPRESS YOUR LOVE

Oftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners tend to stop praising each other because they assume their partner already knows what they're thinking. When in reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner. Compliment them on their
cooking, reaffirm that they're the greatest person in the world, or tell them they do a great job with the kids. Always flirt with your mate - it helps to keep the juices flowing and it makes both of you feel attractive. If you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When they're feeling loved, it is much easier to love in return.

Are you a super supporter of what your mate does and says? Do you cheer them on and praise them constantly? Or do they constantly hear complaints, criticisms, or nothing?

TIP#4 -- TAKE TIME TO UNDERSTAND YOUR PARTNER

Couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, "I just don't understand him/her.

Question: How knowledgeable are you about your mate's profession or the degree they are pursuing? Do you know anything about his or her family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about his making airplanes out of Beer cans hobby, or her interest in Wine?

If you are a man, do you fully understand what women experience during PMS or
menopause?

If you are a woman, do you fully understand aspects of Colon Cancer, and what you can do to be conscious about other male medical issues to help keep your partner healthy?

You don't need to become each other's mirror image, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest your partner in life and you'll grow closer as a result.

TIP#5 -- ANSWER THE *BIG* QUESTIONS

Does your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history of spending their way into debt? Do they go to church? Are there any illnesses that run in their families?

The biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married.

People think they'll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better. That is a sad myth that many believe. If you fail to sit down and discuss
finances, religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your life.

TIP#6--DON'T WAIT TO GET HELP

It is inevitable that as a married couple, you will hit many tough challenges over time. The dynamics of the marriage changes as you have children, age, grow together as a couple, along with some outside circumstances that may come into play. If at some point you feel you need help, get help. If you're finding the communication is off, or that you and your mate are talking at each other instead of to each other, do not be afraid to seek help. There are also some times when couples need to do an assessment of their relationship, and take inventory. Be proactive before things escalate.

The Internet provides a wealth of self-help e-books and CDs that you can download. Seek help from your pastor or spiritual counselor, or your neighborhood Community Center. If you have the financial means to spend on professional counseling, do it. However, with the recession that we are currently facing, it is suggested to be as frugal as possible. A couple doesn't need to spend thousands to keep their relationship in tact. Informational resources and free counseling from people that do it through a community, church, or occupational provision can offer direction to a couple as they try to get back on track, as well as enhance their communication. Sometimes, a trusted, third set of ears can help.

In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals in life, there's no guarantee that chemistry or "I love you's" will help you stay together.

Make it your utmost priority to do what you did to attract your partner throughout your relationship.


To learn more, visit: http://www.bettersexloverelationship.info


Author's Bio
K. M. Green is currently working towards completion of a B.A. in Spanish from the University of Texas at Arlington. Having extensive experience in Fine Dining Food and Beverage, other work experience has been in the Legal field, working as a Transcriptionist or Interpreter. Writing subjects include Relationships, the Service industry, Political Commentary, Spiritual Growth, and Food and Wine.

8 comments to HOW TO GIVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP "STAYING POWER"

  1. says:

    uu hey it's me.

    how are you? i hope you're fine
    and i like this post of yours :)
    it helps me understands more about relationships. tee-hee.

    well, do take care and
    have an enjoyable day :)

    regards,
    yen

  1. says:

    Unknown Hi Yen,

    Thanks for stopping by and for commenting :-).

    Ah - I just went to your blog and you came to mine :-). I am fine, dear Yen. Lovely to see you here...I love this post too and to be honest, I had been practising all the six tips for the 31 years that I have been with hubby...and it is so vital. I tell my boy and his girlfriend the same thing.

    Takes a lot of effort to stay together...

    Hope all is well with you, Yen. Take care, stay in touch and God bless you!

    cheers

  1. says:

    Donplaypuks® Half of M'sia thinks tongkat ali 4-in-1 teh tarik will suffice.

    I don't know having never tried it, but you've no idea how some of my visitors from Pakistan load up on it when they drop by KL.

  1. says:

    uncle james Hi MWS,

    aah...staying together...yes , it needs lots of commitment!!

    Let me share a valuable tip for staying together always - hold hands.

    Nothing beats holding hands of the one you love. After 31 years together, i think i am an expert hehehe. I ALWAYS hold my wifey hand any place any time. Sometimes wifey will comment " hey, we are inside the bank lah, let go my hand." Hey, i don't care wth the bank staff or customers think....i just wanna hold her hand.

    If i were to ask my psychologist, he will say that my wifey is my "security blanket"...hahaha.

    Hold hands as often as possible....it is an encounter of the closest kind. It tells your partner you don't want to let her go....it tells your partner she is very important to you.

    After 31 years, i still get a tingling sensation everytime i hold my wifey hands.

    Try it.

    Cheers.

  1. says:

    Unknown Hi DPP,

    Ah - very true, DPP. I have met many who feel the same way and they scoff at me when I say otherwise. But we have never tried it LOL!

    I did not know that even foreigners know about tongkat Ali. Amazing!

    Thanks for stopping by. Have a great time with your family during this holiday season.

    Take care..

  1. says:

    Unknown Hi brother James,

    Incredible - I have also been with my hubby for 31 years..25 years of marital bliss with a few storms and 6 years of courtship. We are in our 32nd year now and yes, it is important to hold hands and my two boys used to laugh at hubby and me. But, haha, now my older boy will always hold his girlfriend's hand when we go out together :-). Way to go!!!

    But you beat us lah cos we don't hold hands in the bank LOL!!!

    May you have many more years of wedded bliss with your wife.

    Take care and God bless you and yours.

  1. says:

    ocho-onda Hi Paula,

    How true . Falling in love is the easy part, keeping the flames burning, that is the tricky bit !
    Whoever meets the other half who is a friend,lover,parent,child and partner in crime as well, is truly blessed !
    Cheers.

  1. says:

    Unknown Hi Ocho-Onda,

    How lovely to see you again!!! It is always lovely to see your wise comments and how I've missed your input!

    Honestly, it is not easy to find the right one, but once found, we all need to put in extra effort to sustain and develop the relationship.

    Take care and have a great week!

    Cheers!

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