Dear reader, Do have a good laugh when you read these jokes sent to me by Freddie. Please do not take offense because as always, my intention is to share humor, laughter and cheer. If you are offended, please accept my sincere apologies. Thanks and have a nice day.
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What is a KISS ?
It's an upper PREPARATION for a lower INVASION that will lead to further PENETRATION with fast ACCELERATION that will build next GENERATION.
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What men do after sex ?
2% eat; 3% smoke cigarettes; 4% take a shower; 5% go to sleep and 86% get up and go back home to their wives.
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Why is your pe**s better than a credit card ?
(a) Once spent it recharges itself.
(b) It is accepted worldwide.
(c) You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.
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LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that our neighbour's son has a pe**s like a peanut !
MUM: You mean it's small ?
LITTLE GIRL: No it's salty !!!
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A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing.
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A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.
The lady sitting next to him asked: Are they your babies ?
MAN: No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer COMPLAINTS.
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Women top 5 lies : from the whitest down
5. I am a virgin.
4. It is so big.
3. I can't do that to my best friend.
2. I won't gain weight after marriage
1. I am coming ! I am coming !!!
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A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says: You want to play magic. She says:
What is that? He says: We go Home, screw, and then you disappear.
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What is the closest thing to a woman's period ?
Your SALARY... It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if it doesn't come, you are F**KED !!!
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Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first ?
A Kid replied : The legs...because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING".
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Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school ?
Pupil : Because I heard my sister's boyfriend say, "TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR P***Y".
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What's the difference between a panty and a stage curtain ?
Answer : When you pull down the stage curtain, show is over, but when you pull down the PANTY... IT'S SHOWTIME.
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MUM: Didn't I tell you if a stranger touches your breast say "DON'T". And if he touches your p***y say STOP !
GIRL : But mum, he touched both, so I told him DON'T STOP !!!!"
4 comments to DIRTY, NAUGHTY & FUNNY :-)
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Unknown Oooops!
Dear Cat-in-Sydney,
So sorry dearie...I thought of posting something saucy for a change - er make that drastic change from the usual serious posts...
My sincere apologies to you and others...
Ah - this is what happens when I get too bored at home LOL!
Take care warmest wishes to you.
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johnnie lim Good Morning Mws,
nothing like a good laugh.life should not be that serious. thanks for the post.
I have received some of the jokes before, but they are still good.
have a good day.
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Unknown Hi there Johnnie,
Good morning to you and thanks for sharing the humor of the jokes. :-)
Have a good day and God be with you and yours always.
Best wishes,
mws
Cat-from-Sydney Aunty Paula,
I'm blushing.....