Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
Thought 2
The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going, Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
Thought 3
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
The next one is the Best !!!
Thought 4
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally,
finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including the priest erupted in laughter .......... all except the poor Groom!!
Have a nice day folks!
8 comments to MEN'S THOUGHTS ABOUT MEN :-) (humor)
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Unknown Hi Uncle Lee,
LOL!!! You have such a wicked sense of humor but I love it - especially the happy fat women cos I qualify immediately hehehe.
Well, in some ways, you are right - familiarity breeds contempt which is why I like to go away for one or two days to take a break and when I come back, oooo I get regal treatment from hubby and kids :-).
Here's hoping that you will have a wonderful day and unforgettable week.
Warmest wishes,
mws
P.S. My girlfriend saw the comment you wrote about her and is very happy...:-).
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Cat-from-Sydney Masterwordsmith, not just in human world, the males are also troublesome in the feline world. At least in the case of Brad. But it would be boring without them, no? At least we need them to pick on, don't we? *wink wink*
purrr....purr...I like the credit card joke the best...meow meow meow meow meow...
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Unknown My dear Cat-in-Sydney,
You always brighten my day with your witty kitty comments. *cuddles* Your mama and papa plus the other cats around you must really worship you LOL!
I have to confess that I agree with you haha cos a world without males would be pretty boring with no more sparring partners...It is always more fun to spar with the opposite sex and to *sniggers* bully them...:winks"
Ah - that's how we brighten the lives of those around us, no?
Hehehe I also like the credit card joke best of all.
Take care my feline friend :-).
Have a purrific day!
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Murali We aim to please ladies! The world will be such a mundane place without us eh? :)
Imagine this: A woman dressing up, putting on her Chanel #1, hot jeans, hair all done up + (sensored bits) and no one to appreciate them , to make their day with praises, flowers etc etc..
Men complete women, and vice versa.
Regards,
A real man (*LOL*)
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Unknown Hi Murali
Aha! I see you are in full swing aka FIND TRUE LOVE asap mode with a little help from PauLA and AngeLA and you are already LA LA La'ing away LOL!!!
Er...I beg to differ, dear psl.
The world will be a morbid and boring place without women, especially cheeky ones like yours truly!!!
The scenario you described is spot on only for certain women who need to be validated by men.
Ahem! Hehehe....
I have no Chanel #1, wish I could wear hot jeans LOL but not with all the fats bulging at the sides *sniggers*, dream of silky long hair and seldom get praises but heck! I still love myself no matter what :-) BUT having said that - it is friends - regardless of their gender - like you and Angela who make my day and enrich my life...
and that is what makes life worth living, my friend.
By the way, I have to be moving in tandem with your gear shift and step up my Find Mumu a girlfriend project!!! LOL!!! Must update the scoreboard now...LOL!!
Take care...
warmest regards,
mws
(A real woman!!! LOL!!!)
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jonno1951 Paula
Women are not fat, they are just cuddly but I must admit that I have met some that are really beyond cuddly - no way anyone can put their arms around them except in a group hug with five or six guys linking arms (aren't I terrible??? HAHAHAHA). :-)
This particular lady was so huge that my wife and I saw at Disney World in Florida, she took up the entire 3 persons seat on the trolley cart. I thought it was a Redwood cedar pretending to be a human. It prompted me to say to my wife "I will never ever call you fat again". Within 2 minutes, we saw a guy who was literally waddling and my wife said "Ditto".
My wife just recently bought a VW Golf and unfortunately, despite her telling the car rep that she did not want bucket seats, her car came with them. She has been complaining since that the seats are really uncomfortable. You must have now gathered that my wife is built for comfort and not for speed. Luckily she is out shopping and not here while I type this or I won't make it to my next birthday. I always tell her she is cuddly.
Before I finish, a short "fat" joke:
"My neighbour is so fat that when he/she jumps into the ocean for a swim, it is high tide.
Take care and have a great weekend.
Hugs
John
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Unknown Dear Uncle John,
I am down with Upper Respiratory Tract Infection (URTI) and it was a torture trying to laugh aloud at what you wrote because I am all clogged up :-)...
I have seen redwoods before in San Francisco and your description is so funny!!!
You have such a great sense of humor, Uncle John.
Thanks so much for letting me have a jovial start to the day.
Have a lovely weekend and God bless you and yours always.
hugs and much love
Lee Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
You have a pleasant week and hold that smile. Best regards, Lee.