masterwordsmith-unplugged

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked..
The seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
Again, the seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

"Is this your thimble ?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.



"Yes," cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.



Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney. And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is:

Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it

Signed,
Women

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PRICELESS WORDS


A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.

'Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!'

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen andsure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, 'Son, what happened last night?'

His son says, 'Well, you came home around 3 a.m. drunk and delirious. You broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door'.

Confused, the man asks, 'So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!'

His son replies, 'Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said,

'LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!'

Moral

Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – 'PRICELESS '

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BE STRONG, HONEY!

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck. Then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, 'Listen, this guy's an escaped convict! Look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist. Don't complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong. Honey, I love you.'

To which the wife responds, 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering
in my ear. He told me he was gay. He thought you were cute and asked
if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey,
I love you too!!'

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Proof that Men Have Better Friends

Friendship among Women

A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men

A man didn't come home one night.The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.. Seven confirmed that he had slept over, and three said he was still there...


Have a nice day!!