masterwordsmith-unplugged

When I was in second year at university, I signed up for a three-week inter-varsity camp held at Ringlet, Cameron Highlands. Initially, I was quite reluctant to go for I had never been away from home for such a long period of time. Another reason was because I was worried that I would miss my boyfriend (now my husband of course) as we were practically inseparable then during those early years of courtship. In retrospect, my participation in that camp changed my life in more ways than one as I learnt many precious lessons about life, my faith, people and myself.

The camp drew undergraduates from more than six universities in the region, including Singapore, and we had fantastic speakers who trained us from morning till evening. We were divided into teams and were housed in chalets. Meals were taken as 'families' in our individual chalets, each of which had autonomy with regards to our leisure time. Evenings were the best as we would saunter in small groups to the nearby park for a leisurely stroll or jog in the area or just to enjoy the cool fresh air.



Needless to say, many romances bloomed during that time, a few couples ended up happily married till this day. In case you are wondering, yes, I did have two admirers but since I was already spoken for, I remained true to my commitment although the chemistry with one of them was very strong indeed.

After the last session each evening, we either chatted, sang while some played their guitars or played my favorite game - "Grabble", a word game based on Scrabble tiles and I became very good at it indeed. Now one of the most memorable experiences that I ever had there was when we had to play 'The Secret Admirer Game'.

Each of us had to draw lots to choose one person to whom we had to show kindness, love and respect for one week or so (I cannot really remember - after all, it has been more than 29 years ago). The objective of the exercise was for us to learn how to be kind to each other even in the most challenging circumstances, even if we did not really click with the person. We could either do an act of kindness on our own or to commission another person to do it without revealing if we were the actual admirer.

Some of the guys were very creative. I remember one of them sent my dorm-mate a gift box and when she opened it, she found unusually shaped pebbles of different shades, colors and sizes which he had picked at the nearby Robinson's Waterfall. Another guy sent a girl a frog neatly packed in a box that had holes in it. I can still remember that my chalet girls screamed and ran helter-skelter when she opened the box and the frog jumped out quite nonchalantly.



By the end of the week, each had to guess who was the secret admirer that had been showering him/her with attention, gifts, notes etc. It was not meant to be a boy-girl kind of thing but to teach us how to reach out to one another even if the person was a difficult one indeed.

Of course, one can argue that the showers of affection were carried out in very simulated conditions but let's think of the feelings and the impact of the recipient. He/She could be someone who hardly ever received any attention from people and such an exercise were milestones in helping such participants to overcome their introverted nature amongst other not so desirable traits.

Let's admit it. It is not easy to be nice to others but it is really a piece of cake to be nasty, to pass the critical remark, unfair criticism, to honk at the car, to prevent someone from overtaking our cars, to bear grudges etc. And we have to realize that just because a person is being nice to another does not mean he/she has a sexual interest in the other. Put simply, we have to look beyond secret admirer games or books that guide us on how to be a nicer person.

We are but mere transients on earth and it is my belief that in our brief journey here, our life would be more meaningful if we lived it not just for ourselves or our loved ones, but to touch the lives of others with little things we do, kind words of appreciation and thoughtfulness that could leave a mark on the recipient's heart for a long time. In that way, we are passing on a spark that will keep the flame of love and kindness burning in our hearts. Idealistic as it may sound, perhaps it might make the world a better place if it began with you and me....

So let's try a little kindness today...and spread a little love around.

CLICK HERE to enjoy Glen Campbell's TRY A LITTLE KINDNESS

Have a nice day!