2. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus in it.
3. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
4. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
5. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
6. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
7. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.
8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
9. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? my wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
10. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6:00am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
11. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
12. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew them off.
13. I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have had no satisfaction.
14. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.
15. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more.
16. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
17. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
18. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
6 comments to WITTY QUOTES - ACTUAL COMPLAINTS THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH
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Unknown LOL!! Glad you enjoyed it. I also had a great time laughing at the url's you put up. One good laughing session deserves another hehe...
Yes, I had a great weekend listening to loads of oldies which is why I wrote my post on James Taylor - will be doing one on Dickie Lee and his song "Patches" later in the day.
Hope your weekend was great too!
Cheers
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Cat-from-Sydney Meow meow meow meow meow meow....that's the sound of me laughing my evil cat laugh....purrr purrr...
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Unknown Hi there Cat-m-Sydney
Hehehe...am glad you love these one-liners...please spank Brad for me for stealing Angelina's pillow...naughty cat he is...
Take care and have a great evening!
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Anonymous OMG! is that what that ruckus was all about along the neighbour's fence? Sheesh! we really need to do something about that, eh?
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Unknown Hi dear Andrea
LOL!!! I can imagine what would happen haha...Love your sense of humor! Take care and have a good day!
Cheers
Tiger ROTFL!
Thanks, MWS!
Hope you had a great weekend.