masterwordsmith-unplugged

Do you know one of those annoying people who claims that they know everyone? What if it was true?

Bob’s father took Bob to see a psychiatrist. Although only a 10-year-old child, Bob had a disquieting tendency to claim that he knew everyone - absolutely everyone! - and refused to admit that he was wrong.

The psychiatrist had a simple solution to deal with Bob’s minor complex. By confronting one of these lies head-on, Bob would be forced to deal with reality, and would drop his insistence. The psychiatrist asked if he knew Paris Hilton. “Of course,” Bob replied. “She’s having a photo shoot downtown this afternoon.”

That was all that the psychiatrist needed to know. He promptly took Bob downtown, where Paris Hilton was having a photo shoot promotion. The psychiatrist was convinced that, once Paris Hilton did not recognize Bob, the young boy would face the truth and his lying would collapse.

As soon as they saw Paris Hilton, she put down Tinkerbell and ran over to greet ... Bob. “Bob, it’s so good of you to come!”

Surprised by this turn of events, the psychiatrist was ashen faced. So Bob really knew Paris Hilton? But he couldn’t know everybody, after all. So the psychiatrist tried again, with the Mayor, the Police Chief, and a janitor; Bob, however, was recognized by the Mayor, the Police Chief and the janitor.

In desperation, the psychiatrist booked plane tickets for himself and Bob to Rome. “After all,” the psychiatrist thought to himself, “There’s no way that this young boy could know the Pope!” After landing in Rome, they went directly to Saint Peter’s Basilica, where the Pope was to appear and bless the people. To his dismay, the Pope recognized Bob, and asked him to join him.

Afterwards, on the way home, Bob turned to the psychiatrist and asked, “Now are you convinced that I know everyone?”

With a defeated sigh, the psychiatrist nodded ‘yes’.

With a smile on his face, Bob leaned back in his chair and said, “I thought that the Pope would convince you.”

The psychiatrist turned to Bob and said, “It wasn’t that; when you were appearing with the Pope, a man turned to me and asked, ‘Who’s that with Bob?’”

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RELATIONSHIP RULES

Don’t string anyone along.

Don’t get mad at being strung along.

Don’t hit on a friend’s crush.

Don’t lay claim on a crush forever.

Don’t expect that your friends won’t throw you under a bus when you cheat.

Don’t pounce on a friend’s ex.

Don’t flaunt a new love around old haunts after a break-up.

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How a woman will handle a compliment at different stages of her life

* Compliment a woman at the age of twenty, and she will blush.
* Compliment a woman of thirty, and she thinks you’re clever.
* Compliment a woman of forty, and she will wonder what you want

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Girlfriend’s expensive education

I always knew that education was expensive, but ...

As a man was walking down the street, he saw one of his friends, looking glum. “What’s the matter, buddy?”

“Oh, it’s my girlfriend.”

“What’s the matter with your girlfriend?”

“Well, she’s been acting sort of distant lately, so last night I asked her if she couldn’t learn to love me.”

“What did she say?”

“She asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education!”
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Do you really love me?

What happened when the girl clown asked the boy clown, 'Do you really love me?'


Girl Clown: Do you love me?
Boy Clown: Yes, I love you.
Girl Clown: But, do you really love me?
Boy Clown: Yes, I really love you.
Girl Clown: But, do you really, truly love me?
Boy Clown: Yes! Yes, I really, truly love you! I would die for you!
Girl Clown: You’re always saying that, but you never do it.