masterwordsmith-unplugged

It is New Year's Eve today and I am sure many are busy getting ready for a big bash later in the evening. Here's something light and easy to get you in a happy and jovial mood - some resolutions for pets and nerds...Have a nice day and a wonderful end to 2009. May your 2010 be filled with showers of blessings and memorable experiences. HAPPY 2010!

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New Year Resolutions for Pets (specially dedicated to Cat-in-Sydney and other pet lovers)

15. I will not eat other animals' poop.

14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows.

9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.

8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.

7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me!

6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year.

5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

4. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.

3. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...

1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND

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NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS FOR NERDS

16. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!

15. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.

14. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"

13. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.

12. I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.

11. I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.

10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.

9. I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.

8. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e-mail.

7. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.

6. I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.

5. No more downloads from alt.binaries.*

4. I resolve to back up my new 400 GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... monthly, perhaps...

3. I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.

2. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.

1. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.

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Finally, are you sick of breaking new year resolutions? Here are some suggestions...workable ones too :-)!


10. Read less.

New Years Resolutions
9. I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.

8. Stop exercising. Waste of time.

7. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.

New Years Resolutions
6. Procrastinate more.

5. Drink. Drink some more.

4. Start being superstitious.

3. Spend more time at work.

New Years Resolutions
2. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

and last but not least...

1. Take up a new habit: maybe blogging!

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More funny resolutions

* I will polish my pate - Bald person
* I will do less laundry and use more deodorant. - Executive
* I will not regale the same yarn at every get together. - Incorrigible bore
* I will remember that 'Cream Cake Day' is on the 29th of every month. - Foodie
* Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
* Finally, remember: A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.Alcoholic New Year's Resolution

Alcofrolic's Funny New Resolutions

2007: I will not take a drink before 6:00 p.m.
2008: I will not open the bottle before noon.
2009: I will not let drinking become a problem.
2010: I promise not to miss any AA meetings.
Finally, Some Serious New Year's Resolutions - Top Tips for Men and Women

Men:
1) Set the goal yourself, rather than someone in your life dictating the new year resolutions.

2) Make only one new resolution. Make our goal specific and personal.

3) Make a 'Pro' and 'Con' list. Review each week.

4) Make a commitment to do something new, rather than stop something old.
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Women:
1) Tell other people, especially other women friend what are your new year resolutions.

2) Plan ahead, make your new year's resolution straight after Boxing Day.

3) Don't blame yourself when you falter. Just start again.

4) Reward yourself when you succeed.

Ideas for Serious New Year Resolutions

* Always keep a joke book handy for times you have to wait
* Learn First Aid
* Give up a bad habit
* Forgive someone
* Start a journal or blog
* Research your family history
* Start collecting something interesting

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Take care and have a blast tonight! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!