I first posted the one-liners about marriage yesterday morning. Please check it out if you missed it. This is the second part of the post. I am sorry I posted it at 1pm and not in the morning as promised because I put up the post on the Third Force earlier. Have a good laugh and smile at the irony or wisdom of these quips. Have a nice day!
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Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.
Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control.
Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs.
You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family.
All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems.
In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains!
Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute.
Marriage is a rest period between romances.
Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution?
Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
Man and wife make one fool.
Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can
never catch him at it.
Losing a wife can be hard.
In my case, it was almost impossible.
Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.
Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.
Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove
it.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I
got married; and then it was too late."
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her
keep him.
Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know
his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is
the triumph of hope over experience.
My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.
My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.
Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.
Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and
around the hands and feet of the man.
Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can
get divorced.
Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those
on the inside are trying to get out.
If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.
I am in total control, but don't tell my wife
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they
send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin
If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry.
-- Chekhov
My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm
going to miss her.
Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over."
The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines.
They gave him love and he invented marriage.
29 comments to FUNNY ONE-LINERS ABOUT LOVE AND MARRIAGE Part 2
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Unknown Alamak - I am getting old. I left my response to your comment in another post.
That is very good...Communication is the key to marriage.
Even better if you can run and chat at the same time...Excellent stamina!
Take care and have a good day!
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stephen My wife and myself have a pact- she keeps me awake during the day with endless chores and I keep her awake at night with my snoring.
She claims that it sounds like a busy port at night!! I tell her its my sinus dear and she claims its her foot.
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Unknown Dear Stephen,
LOL!!! You and your wife have a great sense of humor...and that is very important for the couple who can laugh together,even at each other, can stay together.
Take care and here's wishing you both many years of wedded bliss.
Blessings to you both,
mws
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Anonymous ...the plumber left for hours .
biniku finished her bath & i was enjoying my nap , then she woke me up : " the shower NOT strong enough
....call the plumber NOW !!"
aiyooooo...@#$%^&* !
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Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 8.23 p.m.
Haha!! Looks like my readers are like me - with a great sense of humor :-).
Men are special - they are the man -about-the-house who are expected to be Mr. Fix-it-all. :-)
Salam
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Unknown Dear Anonymous,
How do I address you :-)? You really have such a good sense of humor hehe.
Actually, you better not sigh but quickly buy her that water heater...better that she tells you she wants a new water heater than a new suami LOL...Nolah just kidding!
Take care and thanks for the laughs.
Salam
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Unknown ROFL!!! Hahahaha!!! You are really a joker...thanks for making me laugh out loud!
How do I address you?
Take care and keep in touch.
Cheers
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Village Boy "Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot."
Haha, that sounds great! But, can one really get used to it?
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Unknown Dear Village Boy
Good analogy! After being married for coming to 26 years, I can assure you that yes - in time, you will get used to it :-).
Take care and may you find and keep love always...
Cheers
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Anonymous biniku likes most : " He'll have to go " !
i prefer : " Those were the days !"
we enjoy together : " all kinds of everything ! "
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Unknown Wow! Pandai!!! *clapping*
This means you and your bini are about my age LOL!!!
By now, you must be singing this to your bini:
"Put your head on my shoulder"...
:-)
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Anonymous NO, i'm humming "my way" !
she ? "pillow talk" already !
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Unknown Hehe Soon, she will sing:
"Wake me up before you go-go..."
:-)
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Anonymous " i dun want to talk about it "
'i dun like to sleep alone ! "
" i really dun want to know "
......sigh !
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Anonymous hey, i've NOT heard of dis song :
'wake me up b4 u go-go !'
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Unknown Hi Anonymous (...er are you Pak45?)
Wah lah - I think you googled for songs on 'sleep' LOL!
Here's the link to the song:
Wake me up before you go go
Let your bini listen to it hehehe...
Take care and have a good day!
Btw, love those songs you mentioned..
Cannot remember the title of the song that has the lyrics of "i don't want to talk about it..."
What is the title of the song, please?
Thanks and have a nice day!
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Anonymous hi, dat's the title la : ' i dun want to talk about it !' by rod steward .
O ! dat's Wham . dun like gays' kecuali Elton John's "crocodile rock"
n ' candle in the wind '!
'sound of silence'is my 1st choice .
pak45 who !?
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Anonymous i'm poorer by rm430.00 for a NEW pensonic heater N she is singing in her bath : " raindrops keep falling on my head " n ' just walking in the rain' plus ' Love u ( heater ) more than i can say !!'
....Cheers !
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Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 12.49p.m. and 1.14p.m.
So sorry - I thought you are Pak45...
How do I address you? I mean what is your name so that I don't get confused with other anonymous readers?
For sure, you must be about my age - er probably older haha cos you don't know Wham's 'Wake me up before you go go"...
I love the same songs too...Sang them as a little girl.
Take care and may your days and nights be filled with love, music and happiness.
Salam
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Unknown Hello iwc!
Next time you put iwc lah...Then I will know it is you.
Er...by any chance are you W.I.W.C. whom I recently added to my facebook?
Pleased to meet you. Take care and have a good day.
Salam
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Anonymous wiwc who ?
aku seorang guru sekolah till they discovered i was born 55 years ago in 2000 !
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Unknown Oh - so you are not WIWC ...Maaf ..Dulu saya juga teacher kemudian lecturer..Kini sapu lantai di rumah dan membaca jokes hehehe
Thanks for stopping by.
Take care and have a good day.
Salam
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A Arthur Ha ha good ones on marriage.
I picked this one from an ad in NYC subway trains:
Marriage is grand, divorce is 20 grand, For great discount call 1800-80-divorce.
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Unknown Hi Arthur
Glad you enjoyed this selection. Thanks for sharing the humor and wisdom in your one-liner.
Lovely to see you again in my blog.
Take care and catch up soon.
Cheers
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Unknown Hi,
My name is Sharon Vergis and I am the assistant editor of counselor.org. I am contacting you today in hopes of developing a relationship with your website; we have seen your site and think your content is great. Counselor.org is a purely informational site dedicated to the general Public.
I hope you show some interest in building relationship, please contact me at sharon.counselor.org@gmail.com.
Anonymous biniku can chat chat talk talk non-stop for......> 200km !!