A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed to 'Mum'. With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
Dear, Mum.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings and tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Mum. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Mum, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, John.
“P.S. Mum, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on my desk”
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
___________________________
To Be 6 Again...
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.
'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a McDonald 's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate
Shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six again?'
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
'I meant my dress size, you idiot!!!!'
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong..
SEND THIS TO ALL THE
WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH
And all The Men that need……! .whatever..!!!
___________________________
2 tough questions
Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates. Who would you vote for?
Candidate A.
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist
He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B.
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be our choice? Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven (the great German composer of instrumental music ).
Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
4 comments to THIS AND THAT FROM HERE AND THERE
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Unknown Hi Johnnie
Glad you enjoyed this one. I would have died if my son had sent me such a note.
I agree with you re parents. In my line of work, I have seen how parents pressure their kids and teachers to ensure their kids score in exams.
So the parent tells the teacher their expectation and asks him/her to push the kid. The teacher complies. The kid complains to the parent. The parent busts the teacher. The teacher changes the mode. The parent asks the teacher - why are you NOT pressuring my child? The teacher pressures the child. The child drops the class/subject. The parent blames the teacher. End of story.
I AM NOT JOKING. This is the nightmare I have been facing in the last 2 years and I am in retirement and blogging instead.
Are you shocked?
Cheers
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johnnie lim Paula,
Yes I am shocked at the extend the parent would go to pressure the teachers! I thought at one time the teacher could not be bother because the kids are not interested in their studies and there were those who would beat up the teachers. In the end the teachers just do what they are paid to do and nothing more. Has the situation changed now?
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Unknown Dear Johnnie
My friends who are older than I am swear they will no longer teach and those younger than I am intend to go on optional retirement @ 45!!
Things are not getting better, Johnnie. I have turned down many lucrative offers to lecture and I would rather be poor eating porridge, be saner & happier than to go through such nightmares.
Coupled with unreasonable parents, I had to contend with rude kids, those who have high aspirations BUT great reluctance to work, those who cannot take constructive criticism and arrogant ones who would argue even though they are wrong. Mind you - I am not talking about ordinary students but JPA scholars, those with 12A1s and 13A1s.
I never encountered such situations before 2007 but lately, not only are standards dropping - attitudes are even more pathetic.
So I blog and keep myself sane and mentally alert.
:-)
How are you? Hope you have found another place to devote your expertise.
Take care and have a nice day!
Shalom
johnnie lim ha ha, I really enjoyed reading about the boy eloping with his girl.not sure if this is a real account.Anyway Parent who put so much pressure on their kids to get good grade might need to rethink and not forced their children to do something drastic like this. They should encourge them instead to give their best and what ever results they get , they should be conpare with what the neighbour's kid get. that way the children will not get phobia each time they have to present their report card.