For the past few months (except when I was off the grid), my husband had been complaining endlessly about my fitness oooops it should be my unfit state. On Wednesday evening, he made me promise to go for a run with him at the park near my house.

By 6.15 this evening, he was already home while I was still on my laptop. Patiently, he waited for me to get off my laptop and into my running shoes. Now when I reached the park, I was quite appalled as there was cow dung all over the place. In some spots, it looked like the poor Miss Moo had diarrhoea if you know what I mean.

While doing my usual brisk walk to warm up, I could not help but notice the many dogs that were there doing their own thing!



WOW! I had a very good excuse NOT to run!!! "Dear, please go ahead first...I'll catch up later.." was my very solid excuse.



And what did I do??? Watch the DOGS (NOT GUYS) go by!!! I could not help but notice a couple of things about those canines that were romping around in a frisky manner as though they did not have a care in the world.

From the way some of them were running here and there, it was obvious to me that dogs would never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy run. I could not help but notice how each of them, in their own special way, would just run with their heads held high as though it was a top of the world experience to allow the novelty of fresh air and the wind blowing in their faces - PURE ECSTASY INDEED.


When their masters had enough and moved towards them, these canine darlings would always run to greet them. I guess when it's in their best interest, they knew they must always practice obedience so that they could come to the park again.

Then there was the usual marking of territory and yelping to let others know when they had invaded their territory. I could imagine wherever they lived, they would, like us, take naps and always stretch before rising.

Gosh! What a life!

My mind wandered and I imagined what my life would be like if I were a dog -run, romp, and play daily and then eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

Be loyal and wag my tail when I anticipated that a reward was somewhere in the air *sniff sniff*.


With the many dogs there in all shapes, sizes and breed, all of them, pedigree or mongrel alike, had NO AIRS and did not pretend to be something they're not.


Ahhhh - then I caught sight of one mongrel who was acting as though he was a gold miner in his previous life as he was digging away at one sandy patch. Lesson learnt - when what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

One old man sat on the bench looking quite sad but what struck me was how his old faithful was just beside him- silent, close by and nuzzling his head gently against the ah pek's leg . Obviously both of them found solace and delight in the simple joy of a long walk. And there it sat, thriving on the old man's undivided attention and letting other joggers there touch him. As I observed that particular dog, when it was happy, it would just prance around with no fears or inhibitions and then would wag its entire body.

Occasionally, I could hear some owners shouting or scolding their dog but you know what was the best lesson I learned? No matter how often one is criticized, don't get sucked into the guilt thing and pout. Just like the canines I saw this evening, we should just run right back and make friends!!!

So, needless to say I did not RUN like the doggies but walked briskly and observed these things ....to be used for my ongoing campaign called "DADDY - CAN WE PLEASE ADOPT A DOG?"

Ah - remember - ada udang di sebalik batu...In case you are wondering, my other ruse for the udang di sebalik batu did not work for hubby declared that he had written enough love letters decades ago and how he feels now is the same as how he felt then so in just a two-syllable word - DITTO - he wormed himself out of that predicament haha! BUT, I hope this campaign works....:-) God bless you dear reader...

As we all know, the journey we make in life teaches us different lessons at different stages of our lives. Whether or not we live it to the fullest depends on how much we choose retain and develop from each learning experience that we are blessed to go through....In many ways it is like hiking up a hill.



My family used to hike up Strawberry Hill every Sunday evening until I got distracted by my Qiqong classes but I have resolved to hike again w.e.f this Sunday. One of the things I remember about those trips was how to move forward and up the hill, especially when we used the rope ladder. I had a choice. I could either remember the challenging parts of the route and get prepared the next time I came to it in order to move forward and upwards or remain stuck at the same place or worse still, move at a slower pace. Life is like that. Sometimes, we pick up precious lessons along the way and we may have noticed the lesson but unconsciously, we choose not to remember it but when we encounter it again, we realize its worth and then learn it again. However, if we had done so right from the start, we would have saved ourselves a lot of trouble, pain or frustration.



Another example is how we ask for help. When young, the wonder of exploring surpasses the ordeal of asking for help from others. Then we go through a lot of challenges when we have to cross the hurdles in life when in fact, if we had only opened our mouths to ask for help, all those inconveniences might have been avoided.

Many of us could have lost countless opportunities in our lives with the neglect of that learned life experience. If we are strong enough to recognize it, then we can call it stubbornness, stupidity or blindness. The truth is, it doesn't matter what you call it. If we do not learn from our experiences, we would probably suffer setbacks, and may even slide backwards instead of moving forwards.....until we finally listen to what the world and what life is trying to tell/teach us once again, sometimes, for the umpteenth time!


Sometimes, it can get so bad that we go on a self-bashing spree, condemning ourselves and say "Oh why didn't I do this or that or remember this or that" upon realization that it would have been much simpler, easier, and less painful if we had retained the first lesson we had learnt. But tough luck. Many times, I had no other choice but to relearn it from the start. Much as it was sometimes a painful journey, in many ways, my life has been enriched along the way, too.

So what on earth am I trying to say? Ah - elementary. I learned to ask for help whenever I needed it from those who are able to help me, not just anyone at random. I learned that just because someone loves you doesn't mean they can help you. The uncanny truth is that just because someone is experienced in a particular field doesn't mean they are the best points of reference. At the same time, I also learned that just because someone couldn't help you, that doesn't mean that I should stop asking or looking for help. Sometimes, most ironically, the only one who can help me is staring at me in the mirror.

So right now, as the winds of change are blowing so hard....we have to wise up and not get stuck in a rut. It is easy to wallow in depression or to be overwhelmed but it is better to take stock of the situation than to react emotionally, although I still do sometimes have an emo spree. :-). I am choosing to learn from my experiences and to develop myself from those learned lessons in order to make a difference for myself, my loved ones and friends and to leave my mark in this world. Ultimately, I have learned to believe in myself and most of all, to love myself and not to bash myself when things go wrong. I am sure you have done it too and you will continue to do it. God bless you!!!

Some of you may think that I am a very serious, melancholic person prone to tears :-). Well, in some ways it is true, especially with regards to movies, literature or songs. Yet, few would know that I can be quite a mad hatter. Really!!! Many of my former students can vouch for that. The most hilarious moments of my life are those with my family, especially with my two boys!!!

As I had been feeling quite sad today (as expressed in my second post for today), my younger boy insisted that I watched the following Youtube video clip. I was most reluctant as usually, his taste borders around madness :-) (not inherited from yours truly but most definitely the product of his addiction to Horrible Science magazines and books!!!).

So, after he badgered me for almost half an hour, I relented and this is it....Perhaps I should explain why it is so funny to me - :-). Many parts of the clip show what actually happens in my household - like the mopping and sweeping part when my boys are having their violin practices :-). Those of you who know me would be well aware of my affinity for CLEAN floors!!!

Or the part where he changes from one song to another - those of you who have jammed with me in bands or rehearsals or even karaoke would know that I love to jump from one song to another...enough said...after watching this video...you might have an idea what a crazy musical family I have...:-)

Er....for the record...I don't sing like the guy ok????? LOL!!!

Warning ! Some parts are really funny, slapstick perhaps but it is a good way to unwind after a stressful day...Enjoy.....


And if you did not laugh enough...here's another one....

by Chris J. Roberts

For starting a new and healthy relationship, you need to first create a space for it by getting rid and throwing the toxic relationship out of your life. In this world we build so many relationships with different people. These relationships we have can directly affect our life in every possible way.

First, here are the positive impacts of a balanced relationship. Dopamine is a chemical fluid which is released in our brain when we are stimulated by emotional bonding with somebody. This fluid is responsible for the elated feeling of being in love with somebody. When we are in a balanced relationship, we grow a lot as an individual. True love has the potential of bringing out the best human being out of you.

In toxic relationships, when one person tries to come closer, the other person tries to pull hand away. This is called push/pull effect. If you are in a toxic relationships it make you feel emotionally and mentally exhausted. These relationships are often known as silent killers. The people involved in these relationships may end up getting depression, fatigue and immunity problems.

Usually, people involved in toxic relationship would feel a spiritual and energetic bondage between them. This bonding would not let you get rid of the relationship even if you know that the relationship is turning out to be bad for your overall life.

In these types of situations when you want to get rid of a toxic relationship but are not able to do that, you can try out following things such as:

(1) Meditation

Meditation helps a lot to control your mind and soul for different things. Qi Gong is one such practice which helps people get rid of the toxic in their minds. Most of the exercises and yoga as well help you fight the physical problems of the body. But Qi Gong is one such practice which not only helps you in physical ailments but also makes you emotionally and mentally strong to fight such situations. This practice can be done being in any posture, sitting, lying or standing.

You can even do this practice while doing your daily routine work such as studying or working. Thus it can easily fit in your daily schedule and you do not need to separately find time to practice it. It also helps you in maintaining constancy in your life which is really important to fight toxic relationships.

(2) Music

Music is a form of brain stimulant. Good music can have very positive effects on your state of mind. It can cause major biochemical shifts in your brain. Thus you can start hearing good music which can make you enlightened whenever you feel depressed or dopamine secretion starts in your brain. Music can also make you get rid of feeling of loneliness.

For selecting the music to listen to, you should not ask others as each person has his or her own choice. You should listen to that music which enlightens your spirits.

(3) Sunlight

In these times of toxic relationship which can get yourself in depression, you should not let yourself sitting in the dark. Make sure you have lots of sunlight around you.

Fight the problems of a toxic relationship in a biochemical and not in an emotional way. And bright lights have the capability of bringing out all the good chemicals of your brain and making them active.

(4) Healthy Diet

When you're in toxic relationships it can make your spleen and stomach go low in energy. Keep a check on your daily diet as well. Eat healthy and fully nutritious food. Try out soups with low-fat and lots of orange and yellow vegetables for they are good for your health and they help a lot in healing the bad state of your heart and mind as well.

You may feel in your situation it is difficult to get rid of the toxic relationships but you really need to put in good fight for this. No matter what life brings, the choice lies in YOU, you should choose to make that decisions that is best for your future.

1. Take time to dream -- it hitches your soul to the stars.

2. Take time to work -- it is the price of success.

3. Take time to think -- it is the source of power.

4. Take time to play -- it is the secret of youth.

5. Take time to read -- it is the foundation of knowledge.

6. Take time to worship -- it is the highway of reverence and washes the dust of earth from your eyes.

7. Take time to laugh -- it helps with life's loads.

8. Take time for health -- it is the true treasure of life.

9. Take time for friends -- they are the source of happiness.

10. Take time to love -- it is the source of joy.

If one were to skim through the articles of various newspapers (both local and international), one message resounds in a unified fashion - we have to brace ourselves for tough times ahead of us. While enjoying my cup of hot coffee this morning, it was most depressing for me to read the following articles ....

In Malaysia, The Star reports:

* Malaysia Airlines (MAS) is mindful of the current economic situation and its impact on the airline. “We don’t know how bad it is going to be. Whatever it is, it is going to be very tough and we are watching our business on a daily basis,” managing director and chief executive officer Idris Jala told reporters after the signing of a code-share agreement with Jet Airways yesterday.

* More than half of the mid-level managers in Malaysia are feeling the impact of the economic downturn in their work environment, especially on concerns over job security, according to a recent global Accenture study.

* Malaysians are not saving enough and they are not prepared to face a financial meltdown should they lose their job or be retrenched.

According to the latest findings from Citi’s Financial Quotient (Fin-Q) 2008 survey, only two in five (39%) Malaysians actually save and less than one-in-three (28%) make and stick to a monthly budget.

* Palm oil planter Kuala Lumpur Kepong Bhd’s (KLK) net profit for the three months ended Dec 31 fell 77% to RM65.8mil from RM291mil in the previous corresponding period.

Business Times reports:

* ESSO Malaysia Bhd (3042) recorded a fourth quarter net loss of RM327 million due to stockholding losses, from a steep decline in crude oil and product prices in the second half of 2008.

The company said it expects the industry to continue to be challenging in 2009, in view of extreme price volatility and growing global economic uncertainty.

* The research house notes that more developers are providing more incentives and rebates to attract home buyers

CITI Investment Research continues to hold a negative view on Malaysian developers, saying that the sector's worst is yet to come.

"We noticed that more developers are joining in the bandwagon to provide more incentives and rebates. Clearly a sign of more difficult times and a reflection of significant drop in monthly sales," the foreign research firm wrote in a report dated February 13 2009.

During the 1998 financial crisis, residential property transactions fell by 30 per cent, it added.

* THE ringgit lost ground against the US dollar for three consecutive days yesterday on fresh concerns about the global banking sector, dealers said.

At 5pm, the ringgit closed at 3.6545/6595, its lowest level since November 2006, compared with Tuesday's 3.6380/6420.

The dealers said a deepening global recession prompted investors to dump high-yielding currencies and this led market players to the greenback.

* Asian shares fell yesterday after taking their cue from a plunge on Wall Street where investors appeared to have doubts over the effectiveness of President Barack Obama's economic stimulus package.

"Investors are still trying to figure out the exact scale of the nonperforming loan problem in the US," a dealer said.

"A number of factors have combined to weigh on global sentiment today ... creating a very negative environment," said IG Markets analyst Ben Potter in Sydney.

"It's a sea of red for all sectors today, with the financials feeling the brunt of the pain." Hong Kong went against the grain to end up 0.6 per cent after chief executive Donald Tsang said his government may take measures to help the city's economy.

* BUMIPUTRA-Commerce Holdings Bhd (BCHB)'s (1023) net profit for 2008 may have fallen by more than expected because of higher bad debt provisions at its Indonesian unit, analysts said.

AmResearch's Fiona Leong sees BCHB making a net profit of RM1.98 billion, which is 11 per cent lower than a year ago and 6 per cent less than her earlier forecast of RM2.1 billion.

The New York Times reports:

* New-home construction fell to its lowest level on record in January as builders virtually closed up shop amid falling demand, tightened credit markets and a flood of foreclosure properties.

The Commerce Department reported on Wednesday that privately owned housing starts in January fell 16.8 percent from December, to an annual rate of 466,000. That was the slowest pace since at least 1959.

The numbers show a housing market that is still declining after more than two years of slumping prices and lower demand. Home values, which rose steadily for more than a decade, have fallen by an average of about 25 percent from their peaks, and economists expect that prices will continue to slide as more people lose their jobs and the economy slips deeper into recession.

* The New York Times also gave a comprehensive overview of Credit Crisis — The Essentials at this link.

* The Federal Reserve cut its economic outlook for 2009 on Wednesday and warned that the United States economy would face an “unusually gradual and prolonged” period of recovery as the country struggles to climb out of a deep global downturn.

In economic projections released by the central bank, the Fed’s Open Market Committee said it expected that the economy would contract by 0.5 percent to 1.3 percent this year, that unemployment would rise to 8.5 to 8.8 percent and that inflation would remain under greater pressure. Bleak economic data reflecting a sharpening slide in housing, trade, industrial production, spending and employment rates “more than offset” any potential impact from an economic stimulus plan, the Fed said, forcing it to cut its economic outlook.

With such a bleak outlook all over the world, I sincerely hope that our political leaders and the relevant departments both at the federal and state levels will double or triple their efforts to steer our country's economy in the right direction by paying more attention to immediate needs rather than other issues that seem to divert the nation's attention from what is more serious and needs immediate attention.

We need to stop living in denial and pretend that things are not that bad in our country's economy when the statistics say otherwise. It took quite some time before reality set in for our country's Finance Minister.

On 17th February, Malaysiakini reported:

The government will have to cut its 3.5 percent growth forecast for 2009 if the decline in the country's exports hits double digits, Finance Minister Najib Abdul Razak said today.

"In view of the increasingly challenging international environment and as an open economy, Malaysia is also expected to face the effects of the slowing economy and world trade," he told the Dewan Rakyat.

"This development is expected to continue this year and will impact the country's economic activities throughout it," added Najib, who is also deputy premier and is expected to be appointed prime minister next month.

As it is, it appears that the focus seems to be on supposed nude pictures and wannabe-leaders going on moral crusades and senseless tirades on whether so and so should resign. Sigh. Which is more important? The rakyat or unfair attacks on ONE person?

Can we all have some degree of optimism for our future? However, the fact remains that such optimism can only be developed if the relevant departments put their nose to the grindstone to restore confidence in our country's economic outlook. In the mean time, we all have to tighten our belts and really watch our spending patterns and lifestyle....only God knows what will happen in the next few months.

by Debbie Mandel

There’s something about love which stimulates the imagination. We fantasize about romance and sex. When we are in love we walk on air and everything is wonderful, even when in reality we soon discover that it isn’t perfect. Besides, who can compete with our complex imagination? And this is just the setting, the backdrop, for all the other lies, small or huge, which will soon emerge in our relationships:

• We have a hard time saying no because we want to be well-liked or to snare the quarry in a quest for love. For example, when John and Mary were dating, Mary pretended to love golf because golf was John’s favorite activity. However, once they were married, she never played golf again. John wondered if had married a stranger and in a sense he did.

• We are anxious to please because we feel insecure about our own uniqueness and we tell our beloved what he or she wants to hear. Brad tells Joan he loves her macaroni and cheese when he is lactose intolerant. As a result, she makes it every week for him and gives him a double portion. Ouch!

• We do not like confrontation especially in purposeless, repetitive fighting. Scott has learned to lie to Renee when she asks him if she looks like she gained weight. She no longer needs a scale because she has never gained a pound according to him. How can she improve her health and fitness?

The truth will liberate your true identity.

It’s time to go from people pleaser to self-pleaser. Carve out the time to remove your mask. This is the part of you that is not afraid to be bad. By bad I do not mean evil, but rather confronting your do-I-dare mindset. It feels good to be bad once in awhile because it liberates you from routine restrictions. Also, it is freeing to be bad at something new. You are not afraid to go beyond your comfort zone to try something different. For example, few people are proficient at driving when they first learn or fluid when playing a musical instrument. I play piano and hit a few wrong notes here and there, but they are my wrong notes and I enjoy playing the way I do just for me.

The stress of people- pleasing and performing for others can steal your heart away by making you an artificial person while you lose your natural self. Identity is tied into seeing yourself as separate from others – how do you differ? what is your opinion? What do you enjoy doing? What is your specific contribution?

Don't always resist what naturally emerges from your own personality. Suppression and self-silencing to maintain "the peace" or hold on to love come at a great cost to your health, both physical and spiritual.

You don't need to say what other people want to hear. However, you do need to hear what others say to honestly respond. Imagine how light you feel and how freely you breathe as you relate to others without your mask.

Author's Bio
Debbie Mandel is an author, stress management specialist, and her latest book is "Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life" (Wiley, Sept. 2008). Also, she hosts a weekly radio show and run an educational site where you can learn more about building immunity to feeling bad: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com