It is such a lovely Friday evening tonight. I cannot help but feel a bit romantic, nostalgic, realistic or whatever you may call it for the night is so dark, quiet and the stars seem to call out my name.
Some enchanted evening.....Know the song? (Turn up the volume of your speakers.)
One can wait a whole lifetime for a moment like this.
The person whom you never thought you would ever meet in your life suddenly appears before you. His/her face, features, appearance - somehow there is something magical and magnetic about the whole packaging ;) and you know the magnetism is felt mutually. You hear his/her voice and your heart palpitates. Eyes almost popping out. Tears at the corner of your eyelids. Something within you is being moved.
He/She talks, thinks, jokes and behaves like the person you have been dreaming about all your life.
The strangest thing of all is that you never even realized before you had dreamed about him/her.
In fact, your whole past is like a long sleep and you only awakened when you saw him/her. And it would have been forgotten had there been no dream.
And the dream too might have been forgotten had there been no memory.
But suddenly, you open your eyes wide. The memory and recollection fills your mind and whole being.
The remembrance is there in you....filling your blood like an ocean gushing to shore to wash away everything but you stop short and take stock of the situation and the sea washes away that which is new, substantial, essential and with so much potential - REALITY.
How many of us truly fall in love? How many of us dream of love and then fall in love with the idea of being in love and chase our distorted vision of love while having no notion of what it means to love?
How many of us never find love because our ideals are too lofty and of no earthly use? How many of us are lucky enough to fall in love with the right person?
Worse still, how many of us fall in love with someone, lose that someone, and then spend a lifetime missing that someone and then lose sight of reality while living a life of regret and depriving himself/herself of bountiful blessings? And then to realize what a fool he/she had been to live for and to love someone who did not really love him/her at all?
In what world can two persons meet and fall in love? A variety of situations, time periods or whatever but the recipe is almost always the same. We can never determine the time or place or manner when we fall in love but we just do!
It is certainly much nicer to be in love than to be in a girdle, a higher tax bracket etc. But truth is, falling in love does not always end in a happy ever after tale. Enough Hollywood, Bollywood, Hong Kong or Korean movies have been made to illustrate this point. Hearts have been broken, lovers pining for each other till eternity, souls yearning and longing....regretting....the list is endless.
Volumes have been written about this complicated human emotion and yet nobody understands why they fall in love or why they love a particular person. Some may fight the emotion and live in denial or hide/mask their feelings or stay away and rob themselves of that beautiful warm feeling that makes us radiate from within. And yet, some lose themselves to that feeling of love much to their own detriment when they realize the sacrifices they made to love the person were just not worth it.
But alas, love vanquishes time. To two lovers, a moment can be eternity. Eternity can be the tick of a clock. Yet, in the face of challenges of all sorts, across the barrier of time and the ultimate destiny, love persists. Simply because the home of the beloved be he absent or present, is always in the mind and heart.
Absence does not diminish love; it intensifies it.
However, two lovers must make the effort to show affection and love. It cannot be
mutually gratifying if one makes the effort all the time to keep in touch while the other feigns indifference or busyness or a million and one excuses; the worse being - 'I don't have to tell you why - I love you and that should be good enough for you.' Both have to put in effort otherwise it will not work where one gives all the time, is there for the other who is there only to take, to use the other person as a crutch. Complacency and staleness would set in and the rot would begin. Love and effort in loving, tolerating, understanding and forgiving would save the day.
Where there is love, the touch of two hands will foil all dictionaries of any language in the world. Touch - such a beautiful medium to express of love.
Hands, eyes, soft words, monosyllabic words or even too many words and questions can make battlegrounds and workshops. Get my drift?
Communication - so vital for love. While guys do not like to say much as they assume a one-time declaration is enough, women like me may sound like a broken record when they ask "Do you love me?' or "Did you miss me?". Instead of lovey dovey words of affection, they would hear their gallant gentleman saying 'Why do I have to tell you so many times? Same question gets the same answer." or "Stupid questions get no answer."
Having said that, there are those who walk the extra mile to care for, to love, to nurture and to show affection to the one they love and that my dear friends, really matters. A man with a heart, a man with the ability to love and to give love. And the woman naturally reciprocates.
Yet, when two people love, really love each other, they can understand each other without so much of a gesture or a word. Then there is the beautiful feeling of saying the same thing at the same time because they understand each other's feelings,needs and moods. And then when that happens, both look at each other amazed at how they can be so in tune with each other. The best part is, they guard the other's feelings because they love their partner and want the best for them in every respect.
Companionship -couples can be separate entities and yet having that sense of sharing that can come when two lives move in synchrony with the other...having merged in so many other ways. Unspoken words exist because thoughts can be heard by our loved ones. Words become secondary while the eyes and hands do the talking. If that fails, then they will be two separate entities revolving in separate orbits.
Love gives privacy and yet freedom with a relaxed sense of personal trust so we do not have to clutch to each other and stifle each other to death. We just have to respect ourselves enough to respect our partner's individuality.
Privacy and yet freedom - a relaxed touch of personal trust. Honesty - another important trait to be able to love successfully. We cannot say things that please others for we should speak to express ourselves, not to please others. But do we love enough to tell the truth or are our feelings camouflaged to protect ourselves or the other person?
Sometimes one can be separated from the one he/she loves. The yearning is there felt deeply by both. Communion is gone and yet because they both love, it seems as though they are still close together, weathering each day with love that is not remote or far away.
I could go on and on philosophising about the foibles or follies of love but i deeply believe that when we truly love a person, it means we communicate to that person that we are all for him/her....that we will never fail him/her or let him/her down when he/she needs us. What we can do is to be always standing by with all the necessary encouragement and not condemnation.
Understanding is so vital and the alarming fact is that to understand another human must be the most difficult of human aspirations. Sadly, some of us may not even understand ourselves and if we cannot - then how can we expect others to understand us or even to love us? They may not understand their partner who in turn may not understand them - the worst case scenario which would witness all kinds of conflict and the result of which would be too painful to both parties.
Whoever you are, wherever you may be in whatever situation, I truly hope that despite the many storms of life, one day , you will reach the shore of love and know that when you fall in love, truly fall in love, it will be with the right person and that it will be forever and that you will love, cherish and respect that person....all the way...no matter what happens.
"...Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (I Corinthians 13:13)
Some enchanted evening.....one of those magical evenings when I feel all sentimental and romantic....How about you? How do you feel about love? Do leave a comment for I would love to hear your views or experiences. Thanks.....Have a wonderful evening with your loved one...
For many months now, I had been contemplating the snip snip routine for the short short and sassy hair style which I sported in my younger days. Ever since the time I went for a cropped look and sported a short style in the late 1980's to early 1900's, my better half forbade me to have short hair ever again. Women are seldom satisfied. When we have short hair, we want long hair. And when we have long hair, we yearn for a short style. *sigh*
I still remember his reaction when he saw me. His face went pale and then livid with horror as he stood rooted to the ground. In the thirty odd years that we have been together, I have only seen him angry on two occasions- that was one of them and the other had nothing to do with me :-) haha!
"If it were possible for you to glue back every single strand of your hair, I would ask you to do it. But since it is not, remember that you must never ever cut your hair THAT short again!!" he said calmly and firmly. I vaguely remember seeing smoke coming out of his nostrils and his ears!!! Just kidding. Of course not. But - he was quite angry. That's me in the centre with my girlfriends, Ivy and Vicky. And that was about a month after the bushfire I mean hair blaze I mean haircut ;). Well it was different in those days as I used to spend every evening doing twenty laps in about 30 minutes whereas now, I swim in cyberspace visiting twenty sites in about the same time frame!
Anyway, it is my mother-in-law's birthday tomorrow. I thought I'd better do something to my hair before the waiter thinks I am the maid of the family with my dowdy hairstyle. Happily, I called my hairstylist Reo whose saloon is at Island Plaza. He was my gym buddy at Clark Hatch Heritage Club and we used to do our weights together thrice a week in the mornings before he moved back to Fitness First. That was when I started to get lazy with no partner to spur me on. Those of you who know Reo can vouch that his body fat is below 15%!!! Mine - haiz...no need to mention already ever since I started blogging!!! My fat calipers would probably snap and my body fat manager would probably be short circuited ;).
Sadly, Reo said, "I am not in Penang, Paula." Ok. Then I went to another hairstylist near my home. I had instructed my boy to pack at least three hours worth of work :-) because I thought I'd straighten my hair etc...While I was parking my car, my boy said, "Mom, the salon is closed."
"April Fool's Day is over, son," was my reply as I reversed my car.
"Really! It is closed, mom! Take a look for yourself," he said gleefully.
"It's only closed on Wednesdays," was my stubborn response. And then I turned my head to look. Horrors! It was closed. Then the realization hit me. Qing Ming. They must have all gone for Qing Ming today.
Immediately, I called my other hairstylist. (Moral of the story: Always have three hairsylists!!!) To my relief, he was open and I said ,"I'm on my way!"
Upon arrival, he gasped when he saw the Medusa and the my-hair-is-going and growing-all-over-the-place style I was sporting.
"I know. Knock off ten years please. I don't care what you do as long as you don't cut it short," was my response.
While he recommended a complete layered look, I hesitated as I know from past experience that I cannot take a layered cut because I will look as though I am wearing a hairy crash helmet on my head and everything will blossom if you get my drift.
Anyway, I reckon he did a good job with a layered look although my heart broke as he took off at least FOUR INCHES of my precious hair booohoooohooooo :(. Now, I can breathe with much relief and go for the dinner without fear and trepidation because er...at least I look decent enough now ....and it could be Stage 1 to get a short and sassy look again....*wink* It is better that I do it in stages lest hubby gets a cardiac arrest from the sudden transition...
So much for my hairy tale - here's moi wishing you and yours a lovely weekend!
1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
5. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
6. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.
10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
12. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
13. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
14. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian. He was also an actor and author, and he won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.[22]
Carlin was noted for his black humor as well as his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a narrow 5–4 decision by the justices affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves.
The first of his 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. In the 1990s and 2000s, Carlin's routines focused on the flaws in modern-day America. He often took on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. His final HBO special, It's Bad For Ya, was filmed less than four months before his death.
Carlin was placed second on the Comedy Central cable television network list of the 100 greatest stand-up comedians, ahead of Lenny Bruce and behind Richard Pryor.[23] He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and was also the first person to host Saturday Night Live.
The Question Is Not How Smart You Are; Rather, It’s How You Are Smart – By David Lazear
Scientific research has shown we all have within us multiple ways of knowing, learning, and processing information. Yes, we are all smart in a lot of different ways nobody ever told us about, especially when we were in school!
Here’s the real issue, and it deeply concerns me: we’ve been lied to about our intelligence! We’ve been given some very inaccurate and frankly dangerous information about our intelligence and what makes us smart. And most of us bought all or part of these lies!
So What is the Truth?
New research is in that calls into question almost everything we used to think about human intelligence.
1. Intelligence is not fixed at birth! In the past we thought our intelligence was a matter of heredity and that it could be measured through different tests that would tell us our intelligence quotient (IQ). However, these tests do not take into account the many different environmental and cultural factors that affect the development of our intellectual capabilities. We are all much more than our IQ ever gives us credit for!
2. Intelligence can be taught, learned, and improved! Because our intelligence capabilities are part of our biology and neurology at birth, they can be strengthened and enhanced at any age and almost any ability level!
3. We are smart in many ways, not just one! There are at least eight ways we’re intelligent, eight ways we know what we know, understand, gain knowledge, and learn. The eight intelligences are already in us!
What Are the Eight Kinds of Smart?
* ImageSmart (visual-spatial intelligence)–uses the sense of sight and being able to imagine and visualize an object, including making mental images inside the head.
* LogicSmart (logical-mathematical intelligence)–uses numbers, logic, scientific reasoning, and calculating to help solve problems and meet challenges.
* WordSmart (verbal-linguistic intelligence)–occurs through written and spoken words, such as in essays, speeches, books, informal conversation, debates, and jokes.
* BodySmart (bodily-kinesthetic intelligence) –uses physical movement and performance (aka learning by doing) to understand.
* SoundSmart (musical-rhythmic intelligence)–learns through sounds, rhythms, tones, beats, music produced by other people or present in the environment.
* NatureSmart (naturalist intelligence)–the knowing that occurs in encounters with animals, plants, physical features, and weather conditions of the natural world.
* PeopleSmart (interpersonal intelligence)–uses person-to-person relating, communication, teamwork, and collaboration with others.
* SelfSmart (intrapersonal intelligence)–the knowing which comes from introspection, self-reflection, and raising questions about life’s meaning and purpose.
How do you awaken, stimulate, or otherwise activate an intelligence? Following is a set of miniexercises, puzzles, and games you can use to “trigger” your intelligences and make them part of your daily experience.
Tips to awaken your ImageSmart
1. Work with “artistic media” (such as clay, paints, colored markers, and pens) to express an idea or opinion, for example, what you think the year 2050 will be like.
2. Do intentional daydreaming; for example, dream about the ideal vacation spot with as much visual detail as you can muster.
3. Practice internal imagination exercises–visualize yourself in a different period of history, or have an imaginary conversation with a character from literature or history.
Tips to awaken your LogicSmart
1. Practice analytical thinking by comparing and contrasting two objects.
2. Create a convincing, rational explanation for something that is totally absurd, for example, the benefits of the square basketball.
3. Participate in a project requiring the use of the “scientific method.” If you are not a cook, try making brownies from scratch following a recipe.
Tips to awaken your WordSmart
1. Read a story you enjoy, and write your own sequel.
2. Learn the meaning of one interesting, new word each day, and practice using it during the day in conversation.
3. Make a speech on a topic about which you have a great deal of interest and excitement.
Tips to awaken your BodySmart
1. Perform a dramatic enactment. Play charades using current events or modern inventions.
2. Practice activities that require physical activity such as folk dancing, jogging, swimming, and walking. Try walking in different ways to match or change your mood.
3. Carefully observe yourself involved in everyday physical tasks such as shoveling snow, mowing grass, washing dishes, or fixing your car to become more aware of what your body knows and how it functions.
Tips to awaken your SoundSmart
1. Listen to different kinds of music to shift your mood; for example, play relaxing, instrumental music before or during a potentially stressful or anxiety-producing activity.
2. Use singing to express an idea.
3. Hum to create different kinds of vibrations inside of your head; for example, try the vowels one at a time, using different volumes and pitches.
Tips to awaken your NatureSmart
1. Get involved in a planting project either in your own home or somewhere in your community.
2. Spend some time with an animal. Allow yourself to really “get to know” this fellow creature. Imagine it has human qualities–what is it thinking? feeling? wanting?
3. Go for a walk, and consciously focus on the impact of the environment on your five senses, on your emotions, and on your spiritual awareness. See how fully you can experience the walk!
Tips to awaken your PeopleSmart
1. Get into different structured situations in which reliance on other people is required for the successful completion of a project.
2. Practice listening deeply and fully to another person. Cut off the “mind chatter” that often occurs when you are listening to someone else talk, and stay focused only on what he or she is saying.
3. Try to guess what someone else is thinking or feeling based on various nonverbal clues, then check your accuracy with that person.
Tips to awaken your SelfSmart
1. In the midst of a routine activity, practice acute mindfulness, that is, an intense awareness of everything going on, your thoughts, feelings, physical movements, and inner states of being.
2. Practice watching your thoughts, feelings, and moods as if you were a detached, outside observer. Notice patterns that kick into gear in certain situations, for example, the “anger pattern,” the “playfulness pattern,” or the “anxiety pattern.”
3. In 25 words or fewer, write your answer today for the question “Who am I?” Keep working on it until you are satisfied. Look at it again each day for a week, making revisions that you feel are needed.
I promise you that the more you call on your innate intelligence potentials, the more they will become a regular part of how you live your daily life. After a while, almost without thinking, you’ll find you are automatically “cooking on more burners” simultaneously. To keep all Eight Kinds of Smart fully awake and ready to help you think, learn, and work smarter, exercise them every day!
*This post is dedicated to Hobart Lim. Today is THE DAY for his JPA scholarship interview and I pray God will bless him with wisdom and understanding in all his responses. May this post bring you warm memories of our discussion on intelligence ;).
About the Author:
This article was written by David Lazear, contributing author to “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2.” The best-selling author of 10 books on applications of multiple intelligences, David has over 30 years of international experience in the development of human capacities in both the public and private sectors. He inspires and empowers people to awaken their full intelligence. Visit http://www.DavidLazear.com
His article above is one of 101 great chapters that can be found in “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2.” This powerful compilation book — with John Gray, Jack Canfield, Richard Carlson, Bob Proctor, Alan Cohen, and countless other experts — contains 101 chapters of proven advice on how to improve your life.
