For months I notice the painted rock that sat on Karen's coffee table. The rock was painted and its face had a smile that just made you smile when you looked at it. I examined the rock and painted on the bottom was "why worry". Curious I asked Karen where she got the rock.
She told me that during a very stressful time in her life, a friend that she worked with gave her the rock. Her friend told her that when she looked at this rock, she was to remember not to worry so much. Her friend called it her "worry not bug". There was a poem with the rock, she went and got it and as I read the poem I thought how true it was:
- 40% will never happen, for anxiety is the result of a tired mind,
- 30% concerns old decisions which cannot be altered,
- 12% centers in criticism, mostly untrue, made by people who feel inferior,
- 10% is related to my health which worsens while I worry,
and only
- 8% is "legitimate," showing that life does have real problems which may be met head-on when I have eliminated senseless worries.
Karen went on to explain that she used to worry about everything and everyone. She now uses the rock as a reminder not to worry about the things she cannot change. She also went on to tell me that when she finds herself worrying, she asks herself what percentage this worry is?. Most of the time she found what she was worrying about was the 40% - things that will never happen.
by Catherine Pulsifier
Reading news portals used to make my adrenalin flow but these days, it turns my blood cold until my heart and mind have an aching numbness that no medication, tea or stimulant can heal.
A few minutes ago, I casually entered Malaysiakini and was pleasantly surprised to see this letter And my father said, "Son, don't come home" written by Ice Cream Seller where he shared about the values and lessons his late father had imparted to him, only to realize its truth 30 years later. In a nutshell, his father told him not to return to his motherland but he did otherwise and only left for Australia recently. I was deeply moved by his post because my parents told me otherwise and I cannot help but imagine what a different world it would have been had I been brave enough to follow my heart...
From as young as a five year-old, after developing a 'crush' on my kindergarten mate, my secondary goal in life was to leave the country, study abroad and never to return. Since I made this crystal clear to my dad, he NEVER allowed me to make that dream come true and even when I had job offers in KL, he would not let me go. I don't blame him - I was his one and only child. However, I sing a different tune to my boys, somewhat like the one sung by Ice Cream Seller's dad. Why?
Let's imagine for a moment that we are in a beautiful garden now. What can we see? Normally, a sight to behold would be butterflies flitting around looking for the brightest flowers because they feed primarily on nectar from flowers. Of course, some get nourishment from pollen, tree sap, rotting fruit, dung, and dissolved minerals in wet sand or dirt. Point is, they look for the best environment to live. Who wouldn’t?
Just as butterflies look for the brightest flowers, it is logical and natural that young graduates would look for the best environment to work and to live. If a highly educated and experienced professional had to make a choice between returning to his/her motherland to serve there and working in a foreign country, what factors would he/she consider?
Logically, who would want to return to work in a country where prejudiced treatment exists but subtly and sometimes overtly masked by cosmetically termed government policies to bring about supposed equality?
Who would want to return and work in a country where some supposed “HIGHER” group cannot recognize fellow citizens as humans and regard them as a certain member of the animal kingdom and order them to go back to a particular country in the far east?
Who would want to return and live in a country where plundering is an official hobby of a certain elitist group committing their acts even in broad daylight as if it is their right to do so and those who object or question will be sent to a certain confined area and enjoy curry rice for a period of time without rhyme or reason?
Who would want to return to a country where leaders live in denial and proclaim they practise meritocracy when in fact they impose racial quotas in education and then quietly send their own children overseas for their secondary and tertiary education?
Who would want to live in a ‘diseased’ economy where the weak are spoon-fed with all kinds of handouts and the strong get kicked in the butt, discriminated against, blamed for all kinds of problems including the malaise of the weak? They can actually laugh at certain nations for their apartheid policies when such policies exist in their own.
Even if the government really spends US$553.3mil over five years to boost research, attract foreign investment and build new facilities, who would come back if they know that the leaders are are incompetent as buffoons who call the shots in the game and change the rules whenever they feel like it?
Would you come back and willingly be ruled by leaders who fight over the minutest problem and cover up colossal problems…or even leaders who can actually work part-time in Hollywood or Bollywood with all the scandals they can fictionalise to discredit potential threats to the status quo?
Would you want to come back to a country whose currency is moving gravitationally to hit rock bottom goodness knows when?
Would you come back considering the country’s medical facilities, quality of life, crime rate, tax rate, deplorable public transport system, lack of equal opportunities in so many areas? I hope that one day, my boys will read this post of mine when they are free and realize the reason why I keep telling them to work hard and fly off to any where land...It matters not to me whether they are by my side. It matters more to me that they live and thrive in an environment that does not have so much incredulous injustice and half-past six scenarios.
Think. Can you blame the many graduates and experts for being like butterflies flying around for the most beautiful and most colourful flowers to suck nectar?
My dear sons and other young people, work hard and look for greener pastures. I am also looking but alas, age is against me. Just this morning, I was reviewing procedures and news for immigration to another country and my heart sank because I know the many obstacles before me. It seems impossible and I lament the fact that I had foolishly thought that things would get better....and now, it's too late for me to leave...not unless the heavens opened up and showered dollar notes into my humble home to give me enough to leave. Alas, I have little to show in the bank but a lot to show in terms of the number of candles on my birthday cake. Most of my friends have already left...another family is about to leave soon and these people are all younger than me...So what can I do now?
Pray. That's all that I can do now. I just have to make the best of what I have and hope that my descendants will be in greener pastures than yours truly....
So dear Ice Cream Seller ...I am happy for you and I am sure your parents, wherever they may be, are delighted that you finally took up their advice....It is never too late to learn.
An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family.
He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.
When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house, " he said, "my gift to you."
What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.
So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized that we would have done it differently.
Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity. The plaque on the wall says, "Life is a do-it-yourself project." Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today.
-Author Unknown-
How many times have we said to ourselves that we will remember those who have passed away?
Youngsters at one rural California school are making sure no one forgets these names: Brenda Mercado and Ben Perez.
A few years ago, Brenda and Ben, both students at Aromas Elementary School, died within months of each other. Brenda had an inoperable brain tumor. Ben didn't survive a heart transplant.
To honor their memory, their fellow middle-schoolers raised money from the school's annual Penny Wars to buy a bench and a plaque with Ben and Brenda's names. The bench has been installed at the school and provides a comfortable resting place - somewhere to eat lunch, to tie a shoe, to just take a break.
Their friends just want to make sure everyone remembers them.
"Brenda was really into sports, like soccer and running," said her friend, Janet Plascencia. "She tried to make the best out of a lot of things."
Cousins Verenice and Elizeth Campos used to invite Brenda over to their house, and she was almost like one of the family. They say she loved animals, especially her dog, and wrestling on TV, especially the WWR and John Cena.
Ben's friend Stephen Hart said Ben was funny and he didn't get mad easily. "He liked to go outside and built stuff all the time. He rode quads," said Stephen.
Another friend, Marissa Carapinha, recalls what a nice person Ben was. "He had a big heart, and he always tried to help people whenever he could," she said. "I was praying and hoping that everything would go well with his surgery.
"I will remember him forever."
Each year, Aromas School has certain projects for its middle-schoolers. One of them is Penny Wars, where each middle grade competes to gather the most pennies and other change.
The money that goes into the penny containers is ultimately donated to a good cause. One year, Penny Wars raised money for tsunami victims; another year, the funds went to help those hurt by Hurricane Katrina.
The middle-schoolers make the decision about where the money should be used. And remembering Ben and Brenda was, to them, the right thing to do.
So here's a school lesson in which the kids taught themselves something. First of all, they learned that a few pennies can add up to a lot, if you keep saving them. And they learned that their actions can speak louder than words.
But the most important lesson of all: True friends are always worth remembering.
By Kathryn Nichols
