masterwordsmith-unplugged

The following is something to ponder if you don't know what to be thankful for.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep ... you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace ... you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation... you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church or synagogue meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death ... you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married ... you are very rare, even in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful ... you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder ... you are blessed because you can offer a healing touch.

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you, and furthermore, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

Now isn’t that something to ponder about?

Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.

George Eliot

This has been the most torturous day of my life.

How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly she can get back her focus on what's important.

Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's what happened. I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car’s back end by just inches!

The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did.

So this was it: The "Law of the Garbage Truck.” I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people a work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do anymore." I began to see garbage trucks.

Like in the movie "The Sixth Sense," the little boy said, "I see Dead People." Well, now "I see Garbage Trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.

One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground after being tackled. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best.

Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about. The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by? Here's my bet. You'll be happier. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so..

Love the people who treat you right. Forgive and forget about the ones who don't.


-Written by David J. Pollay-

Please check out the video of people in New York City taking the No Garbage Trucks!™ Pledge: bewareofgarbagetrucks.com

It is very important to talk to our kids and to build a wonderful relationship with them. Time flies and before we know it, they are ready to leave the nest and if we do not make use of the time we have with them, it may be too late....Some of the things you can tell them include the following:

I am beginning to think that a very widespread problem today, especially with youth, is the problem of perceiving you are being bullied (by life, parents, teachers, peers, employers, enemies, co-workers, relationship partners, etc.). The real problem is the fact that when this perception occurs, there are only four possible reactions and three of them are bad. The chances of stopping the bullying or teaching better responses are not that hot.

First of all let’s get a handle on what bullying is. Personally, I prefer the more global definition: Bullying is any behavior that over-controls someone with unfair means to limit productive responses, which keeps the person hopelessly locked in a vicious circle of being bullied and having no where to go but down. The unfair means can be physical strength, money, political or position power, keen intellect, good looks, illegal behavior, knowledge, manipulative strategies, force and support from others, or any other way one person can intimidate and disrespect another into subservience and limit their freedom.

Now here are the only four possible responses to perceiving the reality that you are being bullied:

• You can be passive and do nothing, just letting the bullying run its course and hoping you don’t get maimed or die in the process.
• You can fight fire with gasoline and fight back with what fury you can muster up, not knowing what the outcome will be, but worrying it may be even worse.
• You can go underground and think up some clever passive-aggressive approach, trying to hurt or “get back” at the other person mentally or emotionally by getting a more subtle message across; but with the likely knowledge this will just continue the battle on a different playing field or up the stakes and worsen the outcome.
• You could trust in and try the assertive approach of standing up for your natural rights of not being bullied, in a way that is healthily in between being aggressive or passive.

It is usually helpful to take the time to understand why someone does something they really shouldn’t be doing because it can never have a happy ending. So why do bullies bully? Here is what my research says:
1. People who are likely to bully have a big monkey on their back and an axe to grind. They are not getting enough of something they need desperately. If you take this problem back to its original source the reality becomes that the bullies were not given enough positive attention, acceptance, appreciation and love by their parents; and this empty love bucket continues on in school, work and relationships. Note that this is not always true of the converse—some people who don’t get these essential needs met can turn into real heroes.
2. Bullies seem to be stuck in a scarcity, win-lose mentality as opposed to a viewpoint of the world being abundant and full of win-win outcome possibilities. Fear of losing or being seen as a ‘zero” is what drives the bullying behavior (just like criminal behavior), and unfortunately bullying usually gives the false illusion of short-term winning, just strengthening it that much more and making it quite impervious to successful intervention.
3. Bullying is really a symptom of extreme weakness rather than strength and so it is usually wrongly approached with reactive fear and anger rather than proactive compassion and understanding.
4. The only stopping of bullying is: (a) the growing awareness by “the silent majority” that it is a very serious problem even when we don’t see or sense it because of the lack of gory headlines (b) increasing the consistency of assertive responses by the victims of bullying, and (c) the gradual self-awareness of the villain of bullying: (1) That this behavior is all the above (2) that the intentions for this behavior in their own minds don’t count as much as the destructive impact of the bullying behavior, and (3) the reality that there are much more effective and legitimate means to get what they really want and need.

The current epidemic of bullying behavior is something we all need to put our heads together to cure. The best cures always start with the best understanding.


“Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke.” ~Benjamin Disraeli.

*This article was written by William Cottringer.


Author's Bio
William Cottringer, Ph.D. is President of Puget Sound Security in Bellevue, WA and also a business and personal success coach, sport psychologist, photographer and writer living in the mountains of North Bend. He is author of several business and self-development books, including, The Prosperity Zone, Getting More By Doing Less, You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too, The Bow-Wow Secrets, Do What Matters Most, “P” Point Management, and Reality Repair Rx coming shortly.