What is approval? It is the acceptance as satisfactory. The act of giving validity. We seek approval to satisfy our desire to be loved. If someone approves of some event or occurrence that happens in our lives, we feel appreciated. Whether this appreciation comes from our parents, spouse, or friends, we feel acceptance and make a mental note to ourselves saying “I did something, and they’re pleased.”
Why we look outside ourselves for this approval is one of the mysteries of life that plays out every day in our world. It is like being in grade school, where the teacher passes out stars for exemplary work. Stars were, even then, classified in order of acceptance–gold, silver, bronze, etc.
Most people, on an intellectual level, don’t believe they need anyone else’s approval. But have you ever asked someone at one time or another, “How do I look?” There you have it! For those who are self-assured, the phrase would have been “I look good, don’t I?” accompanied by a big smile. When you are sure of yourself and sure of your path in life, you do not look for or seek another’s approval.
Acknowledgment is different from approval.
Allowing someone else to say you look great does not change who you are nor the mood or spirit you are in at the time. Seeking approval can paralyze your life because you become dependent on others to tell you whether you are doing the right thing at the right time. It is like sitting in the driver’s seat of your car waiting for someone to give you the keys so you can rev it up and hit the road. Isn’t it foolish to believe, to take the analogy further, that you can live your life waiting for someone else to give you the keys?
Ask yourself, “Do I know what I know now because someone gave me the knowledge or his approval?” Is there ever a time when approval from another is necessary? Yes, if you work for an employer who wants a task performed in a certain manner. But in life scenarios where outside approval is not required, why would you seek another’s approval when he is on a path of life that may not be the same as your own?
The soul never seeks approval, only man.
If you still want approval, then approve of yourself and how you want to live your life.
Now, with an inner knowing, say to yourself, “There is no one above me other than God that I seek approval from.” If this is the case, how can anyone give you the approval you crave other than the Universe?
I often question the term “they” because I want to know who “they” are.
Who are these Universally appointed, highly evolved, all-knowing, intelligent people that keep a person from moving forward? Digging a little deeper will likely reveal that the “they” most people talk about are their own fears. And amidst this search for praise from others, what most people are looking for is a way to put off the choice of making a decision, a decision that requires the energy of a self-assured, self-aware, and confident person. How might you look at approval? Well, when you regularly seek approval, it shows that you are not sure about yourself, so how can anyone be sure about you?
Sometimes we are so concerned about the way approval is supposed to look or be packaged that part of ourselves that craves approval totally misses it. We then continue on a path of self-sabotage, trying to recreate the emotion of approval in another way.
Like letting a writer pen the screenplay to your life while you sit and anticipate the outcome, some people turn their lives over to others to dictate what, how, and when they should feel. Then as you read the screenplay of your life, you want to cry. Why? Because the “they” have given you a script that you can’t live up to, or have created a character that you don’t want to be. Wouldn’t it just be easier to accept the fact that you don’t need anyone’s approval other than your own and your Creator’s?
Most people have not taken the time to become whole within themselves.
While searching for a confirmation of who they are and what they believe, they constantly look to sources outside of themselves for acceptance and thus slowly relinquish personal responsibility to others.
Think of yourself as a cup. When the water in the cup is not filled to the top, there is room for something else or someone else to fill it.
Whether those empty spaces are filled with love, light, or negativity, it does not matter to the Universe, as long as they are being filled.
What does matter is that you choose what your cup is filled with because if you are not filling it with much-needed love, understanding, and the teachings of infinite wisdom, anyone can come fill your cup with whom and what they are (negative or positive), whether you need it or not and whether you like it or not.
In your quest to become whole, doesn’t filling your cup with self-love sound better than allowing someone to pour mud into it? Whoever fills the cup gains control of the mind and hence your life. Whose cup is it anyway? Filling your cup on your own, with your own truths, your own acquired knowledge, desires, goals, and dreams, can bring you a sense of peace. If you are fulfilling these obligations to yourself, you will no longer need to search for answers outside of those already springing forth from your inner self.
There are many ways to find out who you are: through work, art, literature, music, and the earth. However, we tend to look toward others when this journey should be one of a personal, spiritual nature. It is important to know that those to whom you look for guidance are probably looking, too! The spirit, the ever-flowing part of the Universe that connects all of us and every living thing and inanimate object, must be the source that fills us, not the Guru on the mountain.
Who Are You?
The more you become aware of who you are, the greater your signal out to the Universe…and the greater the signal, the greater the connection. It’s up to you to keep your connection to the Universe. No one else is responsible for your life.
Words are not essential; it is the essence of who you are that is moving the energy. It is focused thought and energy in motion that creates. If you want to keep real momentum, you must constantly re-educate and reprogram yourself on what is happening now. Otherwise, you will struggle, physically and mentally, from that lower level. That struggle and stress will take their toll on the body sooner or later, resulting in illness and disease.
How might you make a smooth transition? Do your homework. Do the research to disclose the latest trends, processes, and data. Let go of old habits and beliefs that do not apply to the now. Start implementing tangible changes in your environment that stimulate productivity; get advice from a life coach or another professional who has a specialty in your area of interest; and network-exchange and share information.
-Written by Ehryck Gilmore
About the Author:
This article was written by Ehryck F. Gilmore, contributing author to
“101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2.” Ehryck is a certified hypnotherapist, life coach, empowerment coach, intuitive counselor, and author. He is also a master practitioner of neuro-linguistic programming. Visit his website is http://www.ehryckgilmore.com
His article above is one of 101 great chapters that can be found in “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2.” This powerful compilation book — with John Gray, Jack Canfield, Richard Carlson, Bob Proctor, Alan Cohen, and countless other experts — contains 101 chapters of proven advice on how to improve your life.
I know some of you must be wondering if I have checked in at an asylum near my home. No. Others might also be wondering why I am posting so many lighthearted articles, jokes etc. If truth be told, it is because I am very saddened by the recent events in my country. Words cannot express the despair I feel. Every which way I turn, at almost every click of the mouse, article after article is about the same issue and it seems that many of us are knocking our heads against the walls and some may even be tired and weary while some may remain undaunted. I have reached a point of very deep frustration until my blood pressure has shot sky high and I have not been able to write as much as I would like to. In an attempt to displace the gloom, I have tried, to the best of my ability, to provide light comic relief here, not just for you dear reader, but also for myself. I just hope that the tide will change in favor or justice and that there will come a time when people do not protect their own interests but look towards the collective good of the citizens regardless of race, creed or color.
So for some light relief, please enjoy the following memoirs from the Institution of Mental health which were sent to me by my dear friend, Angela (Thanks a lot, Angela!). May it bring many smiles and laughter into your life. Have a good day and a great weekend!
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Subject: Memoirs of IMH
IMH = (Institute of Mental Health)
Record I
Patient A: "So how... this book not bad yah?"
Patient B: "Yah agree, excellent! Astounding work. No nonsense, sharp and concise to the point. But there's a major flaw in this piece of art - too many character names
to remember!!!"
Nurse: "Hey! Can the two of you put the telephone book back to the original place?"
Record II
A doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your ears off, what will happen to you?"
Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear..."
Doctor: "Hmm.that's normal...so if I were to cut your other ear off, what will happen then?"
Patient: "I will not be able to see..."
The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not see then???"
Patient: "Because my spectacles will fall off..."
Record III
IMH has an old lady who wears black, carries a black umbrella and squats at the entrance to the IMH everyday without fail, rain or shine.
The doctor wanted to administer treatment for her but decided to understand her behavior first.
So, the doctor also wears black and carries a black umbrella; squatted besides her everyday. The days go by...the two of them squatted side-by-side w/o a single exchange of word. After one solid month, the old lady finally broke the silence and asked the doctor:
"Err...Excuse me! Are you also a mushroom?"
Record IV
A nurse saw a patient writing a letter. She got curious and went to take a peek. But the patient didn't wanna let her see.
Nurse (unable to contain her curiosity): "Who are you writing to?"
Patient: "I'm writing a letter to myself..."
Her curiosity grew and she thought to herself (Why would someone write a letter to himself?)
So she asked again: "So....what's written inside?"
Patient (got impatient): "You crazy ah? I haven't received the letter, how would I know??"
Record V
Two patients escape from the IMH. They climbed up a tree and one of them fell from the tree and started rolling on the ground.
After a while, the patient below shouted to the one on top: "Hey! How come you are not coming down yet?"
The patient on top replied: "No. no...I can't...I'm not ripe yet"
Record VI
One patient visited the doctor: "Doc...How? I think I'm a chicken since the day I was born..."
Doctor: "Wah! That's very serious...Why do you only come and seek treatment now?"
Patient: "Because my family needs me to hatch the eggs..."
Record VII
One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH.
He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down. When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain. As he can't fish the bolts out, he started to panic.
One patient happened to walk past and asked the driver what happened.
The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do; he told the patient the whole incident.
The patient laughed at him & said "can't even fix such a simple problem...no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..." Here's what you can do, take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and fix it onto this tyre. Then drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones, easy as that."
The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why do are you here at the IMH?"
Patient replied: "Hello, I stay here because I'm crazy not STUPID!"
Over 2.3 million viewers have watched the following video clip recorded at Mayo Clinic that features Fran and Marlo Cowan playing an impromptu duet of the 1920's song "The Old Grey Bonnet" in the atrium of the Mayo Clinic.
Marlo turned 90 in February and they have been married for SIXTY-TWO YEARS!!!
Incredible!!
It is not just the lengthy period of their marriage or their age but it is the exuberance, the joy, energy, love, harmony that this loving couple exude from the smiles on their faces, to their non-verbal communication to their music to their gait...
Please observe their body language closely while enjoying the lively music. It is obvious that they were just having a gala time doing what they do best together - making beautiful music and I am sure it is not just in musical notes but in many areas of their lives!
Even though the performance is not flawless in that there are slip-ups now and then, they did not glare at each other or frown or project any negative communication but they just went on without a care in the world. What mattered was their attitude - they love each other, love playing together, love making music and love entertaining through their music and hopefully touch lives with what they do.
Note that Fran even has the time to look up and smile at the crowd in the 20th and 30th second.
The first time they exchanged places, it is Fran who whispered instructions to Marlo in the 40th second and he voiced no objection but nodded and as they moved, note that Marlo gives her a loving pat on her butt!!! How sweet!
And that's not all!!! In the 50th second, when they exchange places again, this time it is Fran who pats his butt!! And when they exchange places for the third time, both are wary of each other in a playful attitude. I am sure that when they were younger, they had loads of fun together :-) with lots of teasing, loving and just living life to the max.
The bounce in Marlo's stance as he moves in rhythm to the music is simply awesome considering his age. I remember when I used to teach in the ESFC (Electone School for Children), it was so difficult to coax the kids to express themselves with their bodies at least moving a bit instead of sitting in front of the instrument like a statue! But here we are, two senior citizens who are still obviously so in love with each other and you know what?
It is the attitude that makes the difference and I am sure that is why they have lived to such a ripe old age and have stayed married for SIXTY-TWO years of their lives with such awesome, joyful, energetic vibrant spirits!!! I hope you will enjoy the video clip.
There's more to this tale though...It is the significance of the piano. If you have time, please watch the next clip and you will begin to understand that music heals and does so much more than just entertain...Apparently, around this piano, the patients come together as an ad hoc family who are on a similar journey of healing and to share with others what has brought joy into their lives...
Tonight, may you be inspired to love, to really live life to the fullest and to remain as youthful as you can be...after all, it's all about attitude that makes the difference!
God bless you and have a good day/evening wherever you may be.
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P.S. While writing this post, I watched the video more than ten times and my younger son was quite irritated with me. After I went to get a drink, I walked back to my laptop and my son greeted my lovingly and said, "Mom, let me give you a hug."
OK. Hugs accepted and expressions of love and kisses as well.
Most suspiciously, I asked him, what's up son? Are you making a 'Father's Day' card or something? He gave me a very cheeky smile and said, "Nothing. Just to tell you that I love you."
So, what's the deal?
Simple. My young man put my volume on MUTE!!!! So nothing happened when I clicked the video again for the umpteenth time. Truly, their exuberance is most infectious and I hope it struck a chord in your heart somehow. I wrote this post on Thursday night at about 11pm and scheduled it for posting at 6.15 a.m. - just in case you are wondering...Please leave a comment if you wish. I would love to hear from you.
