No matter how long you and your partner have been together, it doesn't take long for the two of you to become disconnected.
Between work and family demands on your time and energy, staying close to your mate can easily get lost in the shuffle. And from a place of disconnection, miscommunication, confusion, resentment and conflict can develop and build.
At some point, you might look at your love relationship or marriage and wonder why you two are still together? It can feel like you and your mate are merely “roommates” with little or no passion happening between you.
Love and marriage simply don't have to be this way!
We don't care how overloaded you and your partner are. You can still have the close, passionate-- even red hot-- connection that you desire.
A recent comic strip depicts a pair of busy parents. The man is working to fix a light switch in one room of a house as the woman dashes off to drop one child off at a soccer match and pick another one up from a friend's house.
The man asks his partner to come in the room he's working in before she leaves. She exclaims that she has no time, but she goes in the room anyway. He takes her in his arms for a deep and close embrace.
We readers see the woman instantly relax and melt into the loving hug her partner has offered her.
Staying close and connected can be just as simple as that.
The Hug “Cure”
A hug, or other gentle physical touch, can be an instantaneous way to re-connect and come together with your mate-- even if it lasts for a short time.
When a hug is offered and then accepted, it can be magical and can seem to “cure” the tension and distance that may have formed in your relationship.
Even if there's more to work out in a particular situation, a loving caress or an embrace where both are present and open, can help heal emotional wounds and bring you and your partner together again.
If you and your mate have had a disagreement, there are times that a hug-- when both are open to it-- can appear to melt away the conflict. Sometimes loving physical touch can be more expressive and deeper-reaching than any words you could choose.
Make Eye Contact
We often lecture to children about the importance of making meaningful eye contact with others. But we don't always follow our own advice with those we love the most.
We know, we live in a busy, multi-tasking kind of world. It isn't always practical to be in constant eye contact with your partner, or your children for that matter.
Make it your goal to stop what you are doing and make eye contact with your partner at least 3 times each day.
Again, this doesn't have to be for hours and hours at a time. Re-connection and a sense of tuning in to your mate can happen in a mere few minutes or even seconds.
This practice is most beneficial when both you and your partner are willing to pause and connect with your eyes and full attention at the same time.
For example, in the comic strip scenario mentioned above, if the woman had tried to hug or make eye contact with the man while he was trying to re-wire that light switch, his full attention could not be with her in that moment. It would be dangerous!
Say “I love you”
As cliché as it may seem, a heart-felt “I love you” can help you move closer to your partner in positively dramatic ways. You might routinely say “I love you” to your mate every night before going to sleep or every morning before you two part and go to work for the day.
But when you infuse emotion and deep meaning into this phrase-- and combine it with eye contact and a gentle embrace-- these are quite powerful words to say!
Take a few moments and inwardly acknowledge how much appreciation you have for your partner. Really get in touch with the reasons why you are choosing to be in a relationship with him or her. Allow those wonderful, passionate emotions to come through as you speak these words.
We know that you were well aware of the great way hugging, eye contact and saying “I love you” feel when you share them with your mate.
What we want you to do is to remember the power of these simple actions and words and use them often in your day-to-day life-- no matter how busy you both are.
Author's Bio
Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and authors who help people create lives that are filled with more passion, love and connection. For more tips on turning up the heat in your love relationship, sign up AT THIS LINK for their free mini-course.
Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Never eat with your mouth full.
Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is a little like having a peeing section in a pool.
Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead.
Sometimes people need what only friends can provide — Absence.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over the strings are attached.
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. (A life sentence!)
Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness otherwise it’s hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous.
Be alert – the world needs more lerts.
Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.
Friends don’t let friends drive naked.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move dead bodies.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry.
With computers, every morning is the dawn of a new error.
To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.
If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you are in deep water.
Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
Anywhere is walking distance, if you’ve got the time.
People have the right to be stupid, but some abuse that privilege.
Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.
Always remember, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.
Life is like a dream and in the end, when you die, you pinch yourself and wake up and never dream again.
Love those who love you forget those who forget you.
The sound of a kiss is not as loud as a cannon but its echo last a lot longer.
You cant be old and wise if you are not young and crazy.
To know me is to understand me, and to understand me is to love me.
Be careful when a guy says he loves you from the bottom of his heart, for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top.
Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person…..think of yourself as a beautiful monkey .
I think i am falling asleep, but then all it means is that i will always be dreaming of you.
Don’t make her wait for you, just because you know she will .
Somtimes letting it slip is the only way to stop it from falling.
Life is life photography, we all develop from negatives.
The worst person in this world is he who does not know who is GOD .
The only thing worse than getting your heart broken is breaking it yourself .
I looked at you and all I could see was perfection, you looked at me and in your eyes I was a rejection.
You laugh because I’m different, I laugh because you’re all the same .
When all you think about is your one and only, you’ve found your only one.
No ones afraid of heights, they are afaid of falling, no ones afraid of swimming they are afraid of drowning and no ones afraid of loving they are afraid of not being loved back.
Sweet is love when all is well, cruel is death when all is hell, sweet is death to rid the pain, cruel is love when he is vain…
No matter what they take from me they can't take my dignity.
Kak Teh tagged me for this Save Yvonne's sight meme.
Yvonne Foong, 22, has neurofibromatosis type II, which has severely affected her sight and hearing due to tumours in the brain and spine. She is scheduled for an operation between 1 and 4 December 2009. The cost of surgery is USD44,000 or RM154,770, and the cost of staying in hospital for two weeks is USD915 or RM3219.
She has raised about RM10,000 of this and is hoping to raise the rest by republishing her book I'm Not Sick; I'm Just a Bit Unwell in English and Chinese. The books are now available in Malaysian bookshops and from her web site store. She is also selling T-shirts at bazaars and via her web site store. You can read about her surgery and donate to her fund here.
You can also help by sending on this meme. If you do, please follow these meme rules:
1. Create a blog entry titled "Meme: Save Yvonne's Sight"
2. List three things you love to see. Add in the picture of Yvonne's book cover. The URL is http://www.yvonnefoong.com/images/banner/my-story.jpg
3. End with the line, "Yvonne Foong is in danger of losing her eyesight thanks to neurofibromatosis (NF). Please find out how you can help her by visiting her blog at http://www.yvonnefoong.com.
4. Tag 5 blog friends. Be sure to copy the rules, OK?
5. If you have a Facebook account, please check out Ellen's new invention, a "feme" pronounced FEEM, a meme designed for Facebook here. And if you want to blog about NF, that would be great too!
Three things I love to see :
1. The graduation of my two boys
2. The weddings of my two boys
3. My grandchildren
Bloggers I am tagging are:
Crankster
Steest
Chahya
I am Malaysian
Yvonne Foong is in danger of losing her eyesight thanks to neurofibromatosis (NF). Please find out how you can help her by visiting her blog at THIS LINK.
In fact if anyone else out there would like to meme or feme this - please feel free to do the needful.
LET'S DO WHATEVER WE CAN TO HELP YVONNE. THANK YOU.
