It is the second day of the new year today. Some could still be suffering from hangovers from partying while others could like me could be feeling so tired physically. I thought I'd start off with something light before I resume my socio-political blogging later in the day. I came back from my vacation yesterday and my feet still hurt so much. Here's something that my cousin sent me yesterday to help all of us stay young. Have a nice day! Do swing by later for the next post.
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3.Keep learning. ! Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's family name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6.. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips.. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Have a lovely day and a wonderful 2010.
14 comments to HOW TO STAY YOUNG
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nick Dear Sis,
As always, I’ve infected your post with a virus thus created a mutant piece as below:
USEFUL TIP FOR BOLEHLAND POLITICIANS (FOR INFERNAL CIRCULATION ONLY…ERR…TO OUR “PET CANINE” UNIFORMED DEPT, PLS TAKE NOTE AND IMPLEMENT AS REQUIRED).
HOW TO STAY IN POWER INDEFINITELY
1. Throw (inside a jail) all opposition. inside and outside the party and coalition. This includes NGOs, environmental group, religious leaders and especially Bloggers (it doesn’t matter if he’s in UK or Poland! find him already!).
2. Keep only sycophants and “cheering parrot” friends. The grouches and truth will only pull you down.
3.Keep learning and using “Machiavelli’s The Prince”!. The last dictator used it and look at how long he stayed in power! Even now, he craps a lot and still those idiots worship him! A “PRIME” example of the timeless virtue of “The Prince”. Err…but first, those idiots MB and Ministers who got F in English, get a good translator and this mean you too Dep Minister “Saya tak layan surat dalam BI”!
4. Enjoy the spoils of your robbery … err hard work.( Err..when can we expect to get the “under table” for approving the RECENT sugar price increases???)
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath but never do it in public lest the rakyat will know we have been screwing and laughing at them all this while.
6.” The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on” is a good line to tell the rakyat even though we are the ones whose giving them misery. E(vil)LOL!!!! Err.. sorry, laughter was covered previously!
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it is mistresses , Ferrari s, toyboys or Palaces. Especially palaces, since your home is your refuge (to those who can’t read between the lines, it should be overseas! And with no extradition agreement too!)
8. “Cherish your health”, Another good line to tell the rakyat! (therefore they can’t blame you for not warning them when the cost of medicine and treatment is doubled).
9. Don't take guilt trips. Instead, take a trip to the Swiss bank vault where you stashed your ill gotten wealth. Or better yet visit your huge ranch in the South American country or a cruise in your luxury yacht to the Caribbean but NOT to where the guilt is, such us the forest near Shah Alam, The PKFZ area and especially not the MACC building (during night time too).
10. Tell the rakyat “you love” that you love them, at every opportunity cos they will never know that you really loved them for being ignorant, meek and easily manipulated.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away (especially true when having the first glance at the amount of oil revenue available for diverting into our own account err.. sorry.. development!)
ENJOY THE TIP AND MAY WE RULE THIS COUNTRY FOREVER! E(VIL)LOL!
Disclaimer…this infernal memo is a work of fiction. Any similarity to “a” political party/coalition or individuals are purely coincidental but not surprising!
Hamba.
Have a great day and may 2010 bring prosperity to all of us.
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Unknown Dear Edward
Good morning to you too!
:-) Thanks for giving me the reason to look forward to the time when I can be regarded as senior citizen hehe...
Yes - that quotation is certainly a very meaningful on life.
May each day of your life be filled with moments that take your breath away and remind you of how special is the gift of life...
Blessed new year to you and yours and have a great weekend, Edward.
Warmest regards,
mws
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Unknown Dear Nick
You never cease to amaze m e with your mastery with satire, wit and words.
Can I please have your permission to post your useful tips as a separate post so that all and sundry can read it???? Do let me know via a comment here.
It is really a brilliant piece!!!
*standing ovation*
Hope to hear a positive response from you.
Thanks!
Have a great day!!
Salam
mws
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edward Dear MWS,
I can't help but echo what you said about Nick's comment - brilliant! Bravo!! Another standing ovation!
Cheers,
Edward
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nick Dear Sis,
My mutated piece as a separate post itself??? I'm deeply honored, Dear Master. Consider it my New Year gift to you.
Hamba.
GOD Bless, Sis.
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Unknown Dear Edward
Thanks for being of the same mind/opinion! As always, your writings and that of other readers are also welcome in this blog...Please feel free to send in anything that you feel would be of value to others :-).
Take care and God bless!
Cheers
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Unknown Dear Nick
Thanks so much!!! I will put it up now after posting this comment.
What a lovely new year gift from you! Thanks!
Take care and have a lovely day and may your new year be filled with endless blessings for you and your family.
Salam
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nick Dear Master edward,
I'm deeply honored with your compliment. Thank you very much for your kind encouragement. May GOD bless us all.
Hamba.
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edward Dear Nick,
You are most welcome! God has blessed you with an amazing talent. Please keep up the good work.
God bless,
Edward
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stephen Hey MWS,I've got my own list on how to stay young and fit :-
1)Go vegetarian- burgers are a good source as beef come from cows which eats grass, so it goes without saying that beef is refined vegetable.Fried foods are also a good source of vegetables as oil is made from vegetables.
2)Have regular sex-preferably with someone from the opposite sex and not paid for.You need the money for your retirement.
3)Fart regularly as it expels toxins in the body.While you are at it,save the world and fart in a jar.Recycle.
4)Look yourself in a mirror preferably as far away as possible.You'd be amazed how good you look at that distance especially if you're myopic.
5)Do NOT exercise as it wastes your heartbeats.God gave us a set number of heartbeats, I repeat,do not waste it.
6)Fatty foods are good as the ones with fibre will stick in your teeth and cause tooth decay.
7)Have a hobby - watching grass grow is a good hobby as it is non impact.Slouching on the sofa and watching lizards run around is another good pastime.
8)If you are balding,wear a hat and don't go near a bowling alley or they will mistake your head for a bowling ball with dire consequences.
9)Tell your spouse you've got a new squeeze.The adrenaline rush when he/she smashes your face with a bat can be therapeutic and a good excuse to have your face reconstructed.
10)Look out for the obituaries and thank the stars that you're such a lucky sod to be still alive after following the above 9 steps.
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Unknown Dear Stephen
What a riot you are!!!! LOL!! Thanks so much for sharing and for the laughs!
Could I have your permission to repost as as part of my jokes post for tomorrow? It is wickedly funny and must be enjoyed by as many!
I will respect your decision as always.
Thanks for sharing and I am sure you and your spouse still look very young!!!
Take care and have a lovely evening!
Cheers
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stephen Yes, by all means MWS,but please just put it in without any writeup of who the contributor is.Shy lah! Thanks
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Unknown Hi Stephen
What a humble man you are - surely a man after God's heart...
Thanks for allowing me to publish your comment as a separate post.
Do take care and have a lovely evening and Sunday.
God bless!
Warmest wishes
mws
edward Dear MWS,
Good morning to you!
As each year draws to a close many older people often comment on how fast time flies. While the young can't wait to be older , the older ones often dwell on their lost youth.
It will be interesting when the time comes for me to be categorized as a senior citizen. I know I can't fight the passage of time and its effect on my physical being but I am not going to let that deter me from enjoying life to its fullest, learn new things, do good deeds and stay in touch with God. I do know for sure the airline tickets I purchase will be half priced haha.
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" - how apt and wise! I will paste this quotation in my mind for as long as I can live.
Here's to life and all the joy it brings. Cheers (*cling*) all round.
Warm regards,
Edward