There is something I have observed for as long as I remember - MeN aRe JuST HaPPieR PeoPLe. I know some ladies might be throwing rotten tomatoes at me...but with due respect, much as I hate to admit it, it is true that men are just happier because of the way they look at life, themselves and others. Here are some examples...Thanks to dearest Angela for sending me this list via email. Have a great start to the week everyone and may your day be filled with laughter, joy and happiness.
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she
doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has seven items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, shampoo and a towel. The average number of items in the typical
woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
20 comments to JOKES FOR THE FIRST MONDAY OF 2010
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stephen Have to disagree about eating out.Seen a lot of "slow draws" among men in my time.
For money, I have this habit of buying stuff only during sales.Kerchink..money comes out and junk comes into the house.Lots of it.
Men waking up looking the same in the morning? Nah, doesn't happen to me.The guy in the mirror always scares me every morning.
I wouldn't touch on success.asking for trouble!!
The rest are very true especially the amount of items in the bathroom.It is still a mystery for me up to today why a woman needs so many toiletries.
I must admit that I am a very casual dresser-too casual i think makes the missus upset!,women have to look good before they step out.
One thing i must admit is that women are very fastidious about cleanliness.I have been toilet trained.I lift the seat before i pee,wipe any "mistakes" and put the seat back.I'm a good boy.
Have a good day.My leave's ending soon.Drats.
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Cat-from-Sydney O Wise Master,
Seriously, "MeN aRe JuST HaPPieR PeoPLe"???? Then why do they whinge non-stop? Even male felines! purrr....meow!
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Unknown Dear Anonymous
Haha! Thanks for the humor! Take care and have a good day!
Cheers
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Unknown Dear Stephen
I agree with what you have written hehehe...My bathroom cabinet is overflowing with lots of stuff whereas my better half only uses an obscure corner LOL!!! Bless him - he is so patient with me even though I have annexed his territory in the study, book shelves, pc space, bathroom cabinet etc...The only thing that remains wholly his would be his wardrobe...
Your better half has really trained you well hehehe...After over 26 years together, my hubby and I live in harmony LOL!!!
Take care ...Today is the last day of my holiday and I am doing nothing but relaxing :-).
God bless you and do keep in touch!
Shalom
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Unknown Dear Cat-in-Sydney
Hehehe...I can sense that you must really bully Brad lah!!!
Take care and go easy on him ok?
Nick sleeps with the nintendog and the schnauzer every night!!!
Hugs
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QQ "Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night."
I don't quite understand this joke, haha!
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Cat-from-Sydney O Wise Master,
What about the puttytat? Who sleeps with him? What do you think of Cleo? Fascinating, eh?
Love and kisses to Nick too. He's back at school today, eh.
purrr....meow!
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nick Dear Sis,
I heard a good joke yesterday. A "dungu" said that the government is so alarmed and concerned about the health and eating habit of Malaysian so much so that it had prompted the government to reduce the amount of subsidy for sugar. Isn't it just hilarious?
If he's so concerned about the well being of Malaysian, why don't he just blew himself with C4? Just great! We have a "dungu" as a leader. The Sewer..here we come!
Hamba.
An idiot as a leader is not so bad if we didn't have a meek and even more ignorant populace. Hope for a brighter day even though it looks bleak. GOD bless, Sis.
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stephen A blast from the past MWS when life was less hectic and Malaysia was the best place on earth...best friends from all races ,great beaches,great fun,parties, camping and a great PM ,Tengku Abdul Rahman..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGPEKI4UUMg
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cucqfwpeoRQ
enjoy!
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Unknown Dear QQ
:-) Hehee...That is a good one...Pardon my ignorance..Are you a lady or a gentleman? I presume a name such as QQ (sounds like QiQi - Simon Yam's wife) would be female ..:-)...
Take care and may you be young and beautiful always!
Cheers
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Unknown Hi my dear Cat-in-Sydney
We are still looking for putty cat...and am afraid someone might have kidnapped him!!! He should be somewhere in the house. I suspect Nick was trying to hide the other two and has forgotten where he put them...We were away for a week...
Yea - first day of school today and he had to set the alarm at half hour intervals at 5am, 5.30am and 6am to practise waking up early!!!
Take care and hope to meet you one day!
Hugs
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stephen Another one that we used to sing while camping.A good campfire song.Young kids looking forward to the future and enjoying life and the cool sea breezes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-FI4Z7kBaM
Sorry to bore you ,getting nostalgic- old age catching up
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Unknown Dear Nick
Ah - that issue that you raised has many sides to the argument...You see, when Robert Kuok had his sugar industry, he had asked for a price increase many times...but that was not approved. He has since sold off his company and it is a different ball game now!!!
Dungus and dungunites are playing ball with us!!!
Take care and be vigilant. Lots are going to happen ...
Salam
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Unknown Dear Nick
Ah - that issue that you raised has many sides to the argument...You see, when Robert Kuok had his sugar industry, he had asked for a price increase many times...but that was not approved. He has since sold off his company and it is a different ball game now!!!
Dungus and dungunites are playing ball with us!!!
Take care and be vigilant. Lots are going to happen ...
Salam
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Unknown Hi Stephen
Thanks for those links! I did a post a few months ago on Anekke Gronloh and a few other stars such as Naomi and the Boys etc...
Tunku Abdul Rahman has always been my idol! My uncle was his best friend and I know Tunku was a true statesman. Years down the road, his grandson and my son were schoolmates for 12 years! How small is our world.
Take care and have a good day!
Blessings and peace to you and yours.
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Unknown HI Stephen
Ah - that is another one of my Anneke Gronloh fav.
Check out this post of mine:
OLDIES BUT GOODIES
I am also in a nostalgic mode - comes with the age LOL!!!
Take care and blessings to you and yours.
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stephen Ahhh, the thunderbirds, they don't write songs like those nowadays played with fenders and gibsons. Thanks for the link.I have CDs and records of Naomi and the boys,the Thunderbirds ,The Quests and my favourite ,The Crescendos especially Susan Lim.
A powerful voice.A shame she died while picnicking in desaru during her uni days in 1970.She had very good results, an honours student.
This is Waktu Fajar by her.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Tz4HNI8YbA
You know, the Tunku was into numerology,so 31August was chosen as an auspicious date for Merdeka, likewise he chose 8th August to separate from Singapore, but unfortunately because of paperwork, it was rolled over to the 9th!
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Unknown Dear Stephen
Wow!!! I am so jealous! I have to be happy with youtube versions of Naomi and the Boys and the Thunderbirds. What you have is priceless! I did not know of her tragic end. Very sad! And so young too...
Ah - my dream is to be a made in Japan Fender for my boy...I only managed to buy him a Fender t-shirt in Bangkok last week LOL!
Oh yes - you are right re Tunku's interest in numerology ...I did not know it influenced his choice of dates for Malaysia too. Very interesting. Thanks for sharing.
Take care and am glad we share the same taste in music.
Warmest wishes
mws
Anonymous After eating the forbidden fruit
EVE started counting ADAM's ribs !