In a quaint village, two little boys sat on opposite sides of a river bank starring at one another. Both were about ten or eleven years of age and dressed in dirty shorts and weather-beaten shirts. Old bones of contention were obviously the root of the hatred that filled their eyes.
Occasionally, they would break the stare to look elsewhere only to turn back moments later to continue glaring across at one another with so much anger and despise that one could almost feel the electricity in the air.
An old man who was walking by the nearby path was stunned when he saw them in their cold silence. He stood there watching them for a while and then asked, "Why are you two giving each other such murderous glances? If looks could kill, both of you would have been dead by now. What have you done to one another?"
"My father told me that this is the way to show our unhappiness and anger for the wrong that he did to us," said one of the boys with his arms on his waist.
"My grandfather and father have said that it is the fault of your family," shouted the other boy from the other side of the river bank.
The old man then looks at both of the them with a disappointed look , heaves a loud sigh and questions then with dismay.
"How can the two of you live and work together in the same community if you're chained down by events that occurred in the past that did not even concern you?"
* I adapted and rewrote the above story from a very short version which I posted HERE.
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The situation above could be a microcosm of what may happen in our country. Sometimes, we carry within ourselves prejudices, stereotypes or discriminatory ideas which we learned either directly or indirectly from our past which could influence the way we perceive others and our actions towards them. The time has come for us to let go of prejudices, stereotypes and discrimination and to move on so that we can build a more united country.
A prejudice is a preconceived belief, opinion, or judgment toward a group of people or a single person because of race, social class, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age, disability, political beliefs , religion, line of work or other personal characteristics.
It also means a priori beliefs (without knowledge of the facts) and includes "any unreasonable attitude that is unusually resistant to rational influence." Both positive and negative prejudice can exist - when used negatively, "prejudice" implies fear and antipathy toward such a group or person.
A "stereotype" is a generalization about a person or group of persons. We develop stereotypes when we are unable or unwilling to obtain all of the information we would need to make fair judgments about people or situations.
In the absence of the "total picture," stereotypes in many cases allow us to "fill in the blanks." Our society often innocently creates and perpetuates stereotypes, but these stereotypes often lead to unfair discrimination and persecution when the stereotype is unfavorable.
Stereotypes also evolve out of fear of persons from minority groups. For example, many people have the view of a person with mental illness as someone who is violence-prone. This conflicts with statistical data, which indicate that persons with mental illness tend to be no more prone to violence than the general population. Perhaps the few, but well-publicized, isolated cases of mentally ill persons going on rampages have planted the seed of this myth about these persons.
"Discrimination" is a behavior (an action), with reference to unequal treatment of people because they are members of a particular group. There can be discrimination based on gender, race, religion, class, age and so on.
When we judge people and groups based on our prejudices and stereotypes and treat them differently, we are engaging in discrimination. This discrimination can take many forms. We may create subtle or overt pressures which will discourage persons of certain minority groups from living in a neighborhood. Women and minorities have been victimized by discrimination in employment, education, and social services.
Prejudices and stereotypes are usually learnt as facts and regarded as truths at a very young age. We do not test these; neither do we have the opportunity to test them. Later in life, when situations come up, we act out these stereotyped learnings effortlessly or automatically.
Belief systems are learnt more actively. We discuss, evaluate, and decide upon these systems of standards and codes of behavior which are easily re-evaluated but these are not automatically applied. Sometimes, conflicts arise between these two systems of "earlier learning" and "later learning." Situations arise where the earlier learning seems to be an automatic response. Time, attention, and awareness do not provide the opportunity for the later decided belief system to come into use.
Therefore, the behavior seems to be automatic and prejudiced in spite of the non-prejudiced belief system that is held. This type of behavioral conflict between the "later learning" and the "earlier learning" can be regarded as an "unintentional prejudicial response."
We are at an interesting time right now. Many people seem to hold fewer "later learning" prejudicial beliefs or convictions, but they do still have "earlier learning" prejudicial reactions or perceptions. The result is a situation where people report that they are not prejudiced, yet when conditions come up, they often behave in prejudicial ways, based on their "earlier learnings."
Conditions that do not get people’s full attention, or conditions where they are not fully aware of the other person’s group membership, will often result in a prejudicial response from one’s "earlier learning." This is one way of understanding why many people who say they are not prejudiced will, when tested, behave in prejudiced ways.
Whatever the case, the time has come for us to let go of our prejudices, stereotypes and discriminatory practices. We must forget what happened in the past to really move and to look at each other the way God sees us - just as we are...
Perhaps then, we can really talk and dream about ONE MALAYSIA.
Have a nice day, dear reader! Take care and keep safe.
16 comments to LETTING GO AND MOVING ON IN MALAYSIA
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Unknown Thanks dearest Antares! Great to see you in cyberspace and am glad you are ok.
Hugs
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Anonymous Since this country doesn't want us anymore, it's time to move on ... to another country.
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stephen Hi MWS,good evening. Am back to work and cold cold NYC.
Looks like you've been pretty busy with the blog!
Time to go to some lighter topics.You need a break!
The underlying currents of mistrust and suspicion are just too difficult to surmount.It is a social baggage that exists in all multicultural societies and all it takes is a little spark to ignite the flame and some fools to fan it.
In my opinion, the situation was not well managed,it was allowed to fester for too long,it should not have been left to a court of law to decide and it should have been discussed behind closed doors with proper dialogue.
Unfortunately,it was allowed to deteriorate,the red flags were already there ,but the signals from the leadership was not in tandem with the gravity of the situation.
What you need to get off your chest,say it in the confines of your house.
We have been thrown in together by fate,so whether we like it or not,we have to learn to live together and it starts with mutual respect.
Everyone has an opinion,you can't convince everyone but you can certainly make an already tenuous situation worse with your words.
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Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 8.21 p.m.
Oh dear...if many more pack up, what will happen to the rest of us who have no means to move to another country and are too old as well (like me for instance)?
Sighs...
Frankly I wish I could go but I can't...
Take care and may God guide and bless you...
Best wishes
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Unknown Hi Stephen
Good evening! Oh - I did not know you work in NYC..I thought you work in Singapore.
Ah - I did go to a lighter topic - the post after this one has loads of jokes...
Well, it has been a very saddening few days...but I certainly do not want to exacerbate the situation with this post. In fact, I have been trying to defuse whatever tension by emphasizing the need to let go of our hangups..and to move on.
That's the idealist and dreamer in me speaking...
Take care and I hope you recover from your jet lag as quickly as possible.
May you have a restful weekend and a great week ahead!
Shalom
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Anonymous NO NO NO ! the country does NOT own us ...we OWN the land , STAY ! (iwc)
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Unknown Dear IWC
Thanks for your patriotism and love for the country!!
I am staying and will be buried here for sure...
Take care and God bless.
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Anonymous I love your blog because you respond
IMMEDIATELY ...others dun bother !
Thanks & GODbless to your loved ones too .
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Unknown Dear Anonymous,
Thanks! It is a pleasure to receive comments and a greater pleasure to respond.
Like what I wrote in TRUE CONFESSIONS OF A BLOG ADDICT, I am always touched that out of millions of blogs, readers chose to visit mine and to read and then to leave a comment. That itself is a humbling experience :-)....
If you can take time to do that to see what I took time to write, naturally it is a pleasure to respond!
Take care and God bless you!
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Anonymous malaysiakini : 'Arman Azha
Abu Hanifah' from 'pergerakan pemuda umno pj'.
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Unknown Dear Anonymous
Are you Arman Azha Abu Haniff or are you directing me to your web page? I apologize for being clueless as it is almost 1am and I am too brain dead to think...
Take care and thanks for coming by.
Salam
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Unknown Oh - Many thanks for the warning. Take care and keep safe!
Salam
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Anonymous Buddha taught that ALL OF US are mentally ill and he called it delusions. The basis of our delusions are our perception of reality which is shaped from knowledge, understanding, experiences, conditioning, upbringing, social expectations etc. All these are false. It is like seeing a snake and believing it is a snake but in truth it is only a rope.
It is also instructive to note that in the bible sin was introduced into mankind when adam and eve ate from the "tree of knowledge" . It would seemed that knowledge is the cause of sin and delusions. Does learning more, thinking and reasoning more with knowledge, gathering more and more knowledge of God etc. will free us from the sin of knowledge ?
Buddha's approach to reducing our delusions is meditation. It is an approach where we drop - bit by bit our knowledge. We slowly develop the capacity to disengage the our inner being from our knowledge and perception of the world. And then one day clarity come pouring into our being - of God, of people, of the world etc. In buddhism this is called direct perception - perception without the intervening knowledge and prejudices.
One of the practices recommended by Buddha was also recommended by jesus himself and that is to contemplate on the good qualities of God or of Buddha. It is important to know one very powerful quality of the mind and i.e. whatever we contemplate on we become. If we contemplate on the love of God we then become that love. If we contemplate on someone being a nutcase we ourselves become a nutcase.
Peace pilgrim(can do a google) did many of such contemplation in nature and while taking walks in nature. She had 3 profound and clarifying experiences which was actually very similar to buddhists meditative experiences. I find it interesting also that it was buddhists who distributed her books and not christians.
Isaiah spoke of how we can know God and it is not through books or listening to sermons or noisy rhetorics of politicians.
"Be still and know"
The end of knowledge is stillness. There is then knowing beyond knowledge.
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Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 9.57 am
My deepest appreciation to you for sharing with us your learned view and understanding of delusions.
I have also checked out the Peace Pilgrim and find her life to be both inspiring and interesting.
It is amazing that you have a good cross-cultural understanding of religions.
Take care and thank you once again.
Have a nice day!
Best wishes
Antares Most timely!