It's the first day of 2010 and I am sure at the time of posting, many of you are still in bed snoozing or for some, trying to snooze after partying the whole night. To kick off the new year, here's a selection of great jokes to keep you smiling. Happy 2010 everyone and may this year bring us and the nations we belong to, showers of blessings everyday of our lives. Take care and stay happy always!
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A New Year Prayer for the Elderly
God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
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Dear Lord
So far this year I've done well.
I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.
Amen
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Wise Words to Start the New Year
* The early worm gets eaten!
* There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
* Never argue with a fool, people may not know the difference.
* Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
* You can't skip and be unhappy at the same time.
* I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
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New Year - Key Questions
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twain
How to Tell That You have Entered a New Year:
* You enter your password on the microwave.
* You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
* You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of four.
* You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He 'phones you back from his bedroom, 'What's for dinner?'
* You chat several times a day with a stranger from Canada, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbour all last year.
* Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records your college roommate used to play.
* You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
* Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
* You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
* Every commercial on television has a website address at the bottom of the screen.
* You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
* The concept of using real money instead of credit or debit to make a purchase is foreign to you.
* Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
* Your idea of being organised is multi-coloured Post-it notes.
* You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
* You're reading this.
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Have a lovely day, dear reader and HAPPY NEW YEAR AGAIN!!!
8 comments to NEW YEAR'S DAY HUMOR FOR EVERYONE
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Unknown Dear Stephen
My apologies for this late response. Only just reached home and was blogging from elsewhere with limited net access.
This time round, a new year does not really bring as much cheer to me because it reminds me of how fast time flies and how I am really getting old and have to make my life count. You are definitely right re the stiffness!
I really have to lose weight because the middle age spread is spreading all too quickly!
I resolve to lose a pound of two a week till I hit my set weight...Golly! I don't know how long that will take.
In the mean time, here's wishing you and yours a blessed new year!
Shalom
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A Arthur Hello MWS
I see that you are up and early to post this one.
Real good ones and it truly reflects our current lifestyle.
A Happy New Year to you and your family.
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Unknown Dear Arthur
Happy New Year! Thanks for reading and for your comment. Actually, this was pre-scheduled last year...
Glad you enjoyed this set of humor.
Take care and catch up soon.
Have a great new beginning to 2010.
Cheers
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Village Boy Joy and satisfaction in life do not lie behind you but in front of you. Hence, advance!
Move forward, forward, and forward again.
Then and only then will you truly triumph in life!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Cheers
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Anonymous New Year's wish:
"Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from BN."
Credit card mantra:
"Charge it or lose it."
Mao's Dictum:
"Let a hundred flowers bloom, then cut them off."
Mental health tip:
"A joke a day keeps the psychiatrist away."
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Hafiz b Shukor To the BN, DS Mohammad Nizar Jamaluddin said : “Behave professionally. In the coming age of intelligence, the people are no longer so easily fooled. They cannot be used as they have been before. Scrap all forms of racism in your political ideology or face rejection.”
From : Malaysia Insider
Don't you think DS Nizar has said the right thing at the right time and at the right place?
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Unknown Dear Village Boy, Anonymous @ 12.22pm and Saudara Hafiz
Many thanks for your thoughts and comments. I am blessed that you have chosen to share such meaningful comments on the first day of the new year.
Humor and inspiration are vital elements in life to keep us going lest we be bogged down by the nitty ditty details of life.
Awareness is one way of propelling ourselves forward.
Take care and thanks again for sharing.
Happy 2010!
Warmest wishes
mws
stephen Happy New Year! Isn't it amazing that you feel stiff all over your body when you grow old but not where it counts?!! So you take painkillers for the stiffness and the blue pill to get the stiffness!! Odd isn't its.
And in a couple of months we'll be adding Chinese after the Happy and then its downhill all the way from then on until the louts start gathering in Gurney Drive again.
Thats why the world is round i guess,it keeps on repeating itself, all the good and bad unless we make a change.
I resolve to reduce my weight,to think positive,to forgive my enemies,to help with the household chores...but then why spoil a good day,I'll start tomorrow or the day after.. heck I have 364 days left...