Falling in love and being in love are two quite different feelings. Falling in love can be either a flash of emotions or a first step towards love. It can be a strong instinctive attraction to another or a crazy and very physical feeling where knees become weaker, face gets flushed while for others, love is a calm, comfortable and warm-hearted emotional experience.
Often times, falling in love demonstrates the power of love on mortals, especially if it goes against our senses when we understand that we can’t expect nothing good from these relationships, especially if it’s the wrong person but yet, can do nothing about ourselves.
The more two persons get to know each other, the more comfortable they get with each other but through time, feelings may become less sharp and not as bright and exciting when other factors such as career, kids or health issues come into the picture. No wonder some middle-aged couples become subdued in their marital relationship where communication is reduced and meals become quiet affairs. With predicable patterns, boredom sets in which can undermine the stability of the marital relationship - all the more both parties have to work harder to light that spark of love, romance and passion again if these were somehow lost along the way!
To me, falling in love involves emotional, cognitive, behavioral and erotic components. The functions of romantic love is not just for marriage or procreation but also for a stable emotional, physical and social environment.
I can still remember the first time I fell in love - it was on a blind date. Then, my best friend wanted to go for a movie with her boyfriend but needed a chaperon so I was roped in to be her alibi. I protested quite vehemently as I was appalled at the thought of being a lamp-post so her boyfriend arranged for his best friend to come along. I was not keen at all but loyalty and love for my friend weakened my resistance and I went along most grudgingly, believing that I would be bored to death by whoever it was that had the misfortune of being my blind date!
I know you will shake your head and say there's no hope for this sentimental lady but more than thirty years down the road, I can still remember how I fell in love with him at that moment when I saw him standing there, head cocked to the side, wavy locks of hair cascading from his head. As he turned his head in my direction and our eyes met, all was lost.
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Believe it or not, there are tears in my eyes as I type this. Falling in love is such a beautiful feeling that must be treasured, cherished and nurtured.
Somehow, the die-hard romantic in me who has read almost all of the world's most famous love stories of the 19th and 20th century, I opine that falling in love is indeed a subjective experience characterized by intense focused attention on a special person. Subsequently, one may indulge in obsessive thinking about him or her coupled with an emotional dependency and craving for emotional union with this beloved and then one can be completely swept away by euphoria and increased energy.
Undeniably, love has inspired countless works of art, from immortal plays such as Romeo and Juliet, to architectural masterpieces such as the Taj Mahal, to literature such as "Gone with the Wind" and even classic pop songs, like Queen's “Love of My Life”. All this proves that love is such a stimulating emotion that spurs of creative productivity.
One possibility is that when we’re in love we actually think differently. I believe love triggers brain processing patterns, which in turn promotes creative thinking and interferes with analytical thinking. Sex, however, has the opposite effect - it triggers local processing, which in turn promotes analytical thinking as to how the hunter can zero in the prey and interferes with creativity. I know this postulation will probably elicit responses so I await your comments which I am sure will be interesting.
So how did you feel when you fell in love? Do you believe in love in this cruel world? I have a few friends who have been hurt so often that they are now cynical about love. Take heart - when you fall in love - it WILL be forever and you will know, just as I did.
Here are two of my favorite love songs - Natalie Cole's Unforgettable and Celine Dion's WHEN I FALL IN LOVE to help you remember that moment....
Have a great day and may your life be filled with melting moments with your loved ones.
Anonymous Fall...fall....fall in love, fall in love , fall in love with you !
sung by cliff NOT me in the 50s when i was in form 1 or 2 .... wow....umpteen years ago, wish i could fall again .... sigh !! (iwc)