POLITICALLY CORRECT STUFF

Posted by Unknown On Saturday, February 13, 2010 14 comments
These days, it is very difficult to be honest because one could hurt the feelings of the listener. In the 1990's, the phrase 'politically correct' was the catch phrase of the moment. It is pretty obvious especially when ladies ask their men for their opinions and vice versa. For today, I thought I'd share some politically correct statements that you could use for both men and women so that we stay out of trouble!! :-)Have fun but please don't try these during your reunion dinners!!! I am not responsible for any soup poured on your head!!! Just kidding. Have fun and have a lovely day. To all Chinese readers and friends - GONG XI FA CAI!!!
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

She is not a BABE or a CHICK; she is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER; she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY; she is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She is not DUMB; she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND; she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She is not an AIR HEAD; she is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY; she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY; she is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS; she is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

She does not NAG YOU; she becomes ORALLY REPETITIVE.

She is not a SLUT; she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She is not a TWO BIT WHORE; she is a LOW COST PROVIDER.


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

He does not have a BEER GUT; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME; he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER; he prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS; he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST P**; he has SWINE EMPATHY.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

He is not QUIET; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

He is not STUPID; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.

He is not SHORT; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.

He does not CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT CARS; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.

He is not UNSOPHISTICATED; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.

He does not EAT LIKE A PIG; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.

He does not HOG THE BLANKETS; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.

He doesn't have a DIRTY MIND; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.
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Thanks for reading! Take care and have a great day. Please add to the list. Hope to hear from you soon. Have a great day!

14 comments to POLITICALLY CORRECT STUFF

  1. says:

    Monyet King LOL
    Happy New Year to you too....

  1. says:

    Village Boy Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?

  1. says:

    SFGEMS Happy New Year, MWS.

    I loved reading this. Made me smile many times over.

    Happy Valentine's Day, too!

    :)

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Dr. Bala

    Hehe! Love the one-liners ya??

    Thanks for the festive greetings!

    Have a wonderful break with your dalings...

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Village Boy

    Haha! That is a good one! I have not taken a public bus for more than 30 years!!!

    Gosh! My age is showing haha!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Hi dear Lita

    Thanks for the festive wishes!

    Glad you enjoyed the humor here :-).

    May you and Stephen have the most romantic Valentine's Day that spills over to everyday of your lives!

    Hugs

  1. says:

    QQ “Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.”

    Happy Valentine's Day

  1. says:

    Anonymous Woman cleaning fish at sink to angler husband : "Why can't you be like the rest of the men? They never catch anything."

  1. says:

    Anonymous That is the credibility of all these people. They originally came from Umno. They cursed Umno. They swore in the name of Allah to never rejoin Umno. Even their mothers promised to curse them if they rejoined Umno. Then they go and rejoin Umno.



    From Raja Petra Kamarudin (Malaysia Today)

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear QQ

    Thanks so much for that inspiring quotation!

    Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours!

    And if you celebrate Chinese New Year, Gong Xi Fa Cai!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anonymous

    Thanks for sharing that joke :-)..

    Take care and have a lovely evening. Gong Xi Fa Cai!

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 8.25 pm

    That is one of the reasons why it is so difficult to effect change in our country!

    Take care and thanks for sharing that quotation.

    Salam

  1. says:

    QQ The eyes of the Tiger foresee the future
    The claws of the Tiger grab the opportunities
    The strength of the Tiger faces adversities, and
    The intelligence of the Tiger makes successful decisions.

    In this year of the Tiger, may all of us be blessed with all the above attributes!

    Gong xi fa cai !

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear QQ

    Thanks so much for your festive greetings. May the Tiger leave footprints in your heart to be brave and courageous so that you can have a tiger-ific year!

    Take care and Gong Xi Fa Cai!

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