THE STAGES OF LIFE

Posted by Unknown On Friday, February 26, 2010 8 comments
Everyone goes through different stages of life at different ages. Here's a list that will probably make you crack up. As always, this was put up for its entertainment value and not to insult. Take care and have a great day!



THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE DRINK
17 beer
25 vodka
35 scotch
48 double scotch
66 cod liver oil

AGE SEDUCTION LINE
17 My parents are away for the weekend.
25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35 My fiancee is away for the weekend.
48 My wife is away for the weekend.
66 My wife is dead.

AGE FAVORITE SPORT
17 sex
25 sex
35 sex
48 channel surfing
66 napping

AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 tongue
25 breakfast
35 She didn't set back my therapy.
48 I didn't have to meet her kids.
66 Got home alive.

AGE FAVORITE FANTASY
17 a winning goal after the whistle
25 sex in an aeroplane
35 menage a trois
48 taking over the company
66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

AGE WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 25
25 35
35 48
48 66
66 17

AGE IDEAL DATE
17 Triple horror special feature at a drive-in
25 Split the cheque before we go back to my place
35 Just come over
48 Just come over and cook
66 Sex in the company jet on the way to Las Vegas


THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE DRINK
17 Wine Coolers
25 White wine
35 Red wine
48 Dom Perignon
66 Shot of Jack Daniels with a Napkin chaser

AGE EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17 Need to wash my hair
25 Need to wash and condition my hair
35 Need to color my hair
48 Need to have Stefan color my hair
66 Need to have Stefan color my wig

AGE FAVORITE SPORT
17 shopping
25 shopping
35 shopping
48 shopping
66 shopping

AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 McDonalds
25 Free meal
35 A diamond
48 A bigger diamond
66 Home Alone

AGE FAVORITE FANTASY
17 tall, dark and handsome
25 tall, dark and handsome with money
35 tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48 a man with hair
66 a man

AGE WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 17
25 25
35 35
48 48
66 66

AGE IDEAL DATE
17 He offers to pay
25 He pays
35 He cooks breakfast the next morning
48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66 He can chew breakfast
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8 comments to THE STAGES OF LIFE

  1. says:
    February 26, 2010 at 8:47 AM

    Cat-from-Sydney AGE WHAT'S THE IDEAL EXCUSE NOT TO GET MARRIED?
    17 I've been *snip*
    25 I've been *snip*
    35 I've been *snip*
    48 I've been *snip*
    66 I've been *snip*

    har har har....*evil laugh*

  1. says:
    February 26, 2010 at 9:06 AM

    Unknown Dear Angelina

    You are so so so naughty!!!

    I hope you and Brad live happily ever after.

    :-)

    Enjoy the weekend.

    Cheers

  1. says:
    February 26, 2010 at 9:43 AM

    Anonymous Hi Masterwordsmith, of course this is all meant for a good laugh.

    Underscoring the light hearted stereotyping used, we ought not forget the need to be ourselves(at all times) despite the physical limitations of aging.

    Growing old is never a problem but intending to (seriously!)grow younger instead, is a big one. The mental health and the expected improved understanding about life is most important.

    There is an old "Peeg" commentator at Susan's (as at elsewhere) to which we(I) have no mercy towards. It has exhausted all the forbearance and grace previously accorded. One piece of sh*t which is safely described as having grown old in vain.

    Pardon the strong language used but it's true.

    ~wits0~

  1. says:
    February 26, 2010 at 10:26 AM

    Unknown Hi ~wits0~

    :-) Thanks for your wise and witty comment. I agree with your observations re ageing and growing wiser.

    I believe I know who you are referring to :-). I doubt he has ever visited my blog and even if he did, he has never commented :-).

    Thanks for visiting my blog and for your comments which I always enjoy reading.

    Take care and have a nice day!

  1. says:
    February 26, 2010 at 10:27 AM

    Monyet King MWS, this reminds of a one-liner I heard some time ago.

    A major acheivement for men at the ages of 5 and 75 is not to pee in their pants.

  1. says:
    February 26, 2010 at 10:57 AM

    Unknown Hi Dr. Bala

    That is very true...But incontinence can be a problem for senior ladies too...:-)

    Take care and have a lovely weekend!

    Cheers

  1. says:
    February 26, 2010 at 11:13 AM

    edward Dear MWS,

    Hei, you have a lovely voice! Comes across with a sweet melodious tone, sounds younger than your age definitely LOL. IMHO, I think you could do with a tad less seriousness, like the 2 gentlemen next to you haha. Camera conscious maybe?

    The people who build their dreams on cards will be humbled in due time. There is no altruistic foundation in their struggle. Its all ill-gotten enrichment and personal glory. They will be exposed in time if not already so. Can't fool everyone all the time. The truth will hound them constantly, right to the end.

    So sing your heart out , for that day will come. As the song goes... "Our day will come
    If we just wait a while.
    No tears for us -
    Think love
    and wear a smile."

    Cheers.

  1. says:
    February 26, 2010 at 11:42 AM

    Unknown Hi Edward

    I say man *blushing* - thank you for the compliment! Are you sure your speakers are working fine LOL????

    Ya - I am very serious when it comes to singing :-) and the other two - very crazy jokers...You should see my other facebook video of Philip doing a rock song LOL

    Well, I certainly hope that day of reckoning will come soon!!

    Thanks for the blast of hope this morning. Take care and keep in touch, ya?

    Have a blessed day!

    Shalom

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