FROGGY HUMOR

Posted by Unknown On Wednesday, March 10, 2010 21 comments
After a few serious posts, I reckon it's time for laughs so here's a list on froggy jokes which I hope will bring many smiles to your faces. Take care and have a wonderful day! Ribbit ribbit!


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TOP TEN REASONS WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A FROG

10. Babes are always kissing you because they think you'll turn into a prince.
9. Flies in your soup are a bonus.
8. You're above toads on the food chain.
7. Green goes with absolutely everything!
6. Pond Scum is a term of endearment.
5. Most restaurants have a "no croaking" section.
4. Amphibians are at a minimum risk of appearing on Geraldo.
3. You can scratch hard to reach places with your tongue.
2. You can donate your body to science for big bucks!
1. It sure beats being a newt.

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TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE A FROG

# You get mad when you don't find a fly in your soup
# You buy out the supply of wart removal cream in your drugstore constantly
# French chefs are eyeing your legs and appear to be following you
# Bug lamps appear to you as a curse
# On applications, you list 'Pond' as your home address
# Kermit is your idol
# You get mad whenever Miss Piggy makes a pass at Kermit
# Have seen the movie 'The Fly' at least ten times
# You live in fear that someday you will wind up in a child's aquarium
# France is the evil empire to you


___________________

FUNNY FROGGY ONE-LINERS

Why are frogs so happy?
They eat watever bugs them!

What does a frog wear on St. Patrick's day?
Nothing!

What did the frog dress up for on Halloween?
A prince.

How many frogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One frog and 37 light bulbs, slippery hands, ya know.

Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.

What's green and jumps?
A frog!! (groan!)

What's green and red?
A very mad frog.

What's white on the outside, and green on the inside?
A frog sandwich!

What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied!

What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it!
What is the first book a tadpole reads?
Metamorphosis by Kafka.

How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.

What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!

Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.

What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
It got toad!!

What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!

What's green green green green green?
a frog rolling down a hill

What is a frogs favorite time?
Leap Year!

Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
Why did the frog cross the street?
because the chicken crossed the road.
Why did the frog cross the road?
to see what the chicken was doing.
Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
Why did the frog stop in the middle of the road?
To get hit by a steamroller
Why did the frog stay in the middle of the road?
He ran after a fly and was hit by a car.
Why did the frog cross the road?
If a chicken can do it so could he!

How can you tell if a frog doesn't have ears?
You yell "Free Flies" and he doesn't come.

frogs Pictures, Images and Photos

How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.

How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.

How do you apologize to a witch?
Ribbit!

What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!

What does a frog say when it sees somethin' great?
Toadly awesome!

What do you call a frog with no legs?
It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.

What do you call a frog with legs?
Dinner.

What did one frog say to another?
You're such a WART!

Why did the frog croak?
Because he ate a poisonous fly!

What is a frog's favorite game?
Croaket

What did the frog order at McDonald's?
French flies and a diet Croak

What happened to the cat and frog when they got run over?
The cat had nine lives, the frog just croaked.

Why did the frog go to the hospital?
He needed a "hopperation" !

What's red and green and goes 175 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.

What do you get if you add milk?
Frog nog!

What happens if you drink frog nog?
You Croak!

What do ya call a frog's favorite soda?
Croaka-Cola!

Why did the motorcycle rider buy a pet frog?
To pick the flies out from between his teeth!

"Waiter... Waiter... Do you have frog legs?"
-"No!... I always walk this way!"

"Waiter... Waiter... Do you have frog legs?"
-"Yes Sir!"
"Then hop on over to the kitchen and get me a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich!"

How deep can a frog go?
Knee-deep Knee-deep!

What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits!

What does a bankrupt frog say?
"Baroke, baroke, baroke."

What has more lives than a cat?
A frog that goes croak every night.

Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.

Why are frogs such liars?
Because they are amFIBians.

How can you tell a frog doesn't have ears?
They don't move when a car is coming toward them.

What did the frog do after it heard a funny joke?
It started to croak up!

Why did the gag-writer turn green?
Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!

:-) Have a great day!!! Do leave a comment if you wish to share your views or add to the list :-). I know there are many creative readers out there. Thanks! Enjoy today!

21 comments to FROGGY HUMOR

  1. says:

    Anonymous What makes Malaysian Hopping Political Frogs soooooo happy?

    Money, money, money!

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 3.28 pm

    Excellent addition!! Thanks a lot. :-)

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Anonymous toad's venom is MOST poisonous , NOT
    snake's , spider's or any others !!??

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 4.04pm

    Really????I must read up on that one. Very interesting. Thanks for the alert. Take care and have a good day!

  1. says:

    Anonymous What happened to the cat and frog when they got run over?
    The cat had nine lives, the frog just croaked.

    No, the frog did not have the chance to croak.
    It just died.
    Mati katak!

  1. says:

    Kampung Girl What happened to the cat and frog when they got run over?
    The cat had nine lives, the frog just croaked.

    No, no, no! The frog didn't have the chance to croak. It just died.

    Mati katak!

    To all our political frogs, get the message?

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Kampung Girl

    Love the way you took the cue :-.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Anonymous Getting Old……….. TRUE LOVE ....have a laugh !

    An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Darling, Honey, My Love, Pumpkin, Sweetheart, etc.

    The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.

    While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over to his host, and said: "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names."
    The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said. "Her name slipped my mind about 10 years a go, -- and I'm scared to death to ask the old bitch what it is."

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 5.19 pm

    LOL!!! ROFL!!! Thanks so much!! Love this one...For once, I am glad my better half doesn't use pet names on me ...er ...YET!!! Haha! Thanks for sharing :-)!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Anonymous Pulling no punches, Perkasa chief Ibrahim Ali explained why Malaysiakini is not in his good books, citing the 'nonsensical' and 'irresponsible' reporting of this news portal which he claimed has caused much public unrest.

    Excellent comments! Hope he is an ardent reader of your blog too.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 5.28pm

    Thanks for the info.I do sincerely hope he pops by and reads my blog.I try to be as balanced and factual as possible in my posts and invite views that may prove otherwise - providing that decorum is maintained. Take care and have a lovely evening.

    Salam

  1. says:

    Cat-from-Sydney Aunty Paula,
    I've tagged you (again!). And you can use as many frog pix as you like...hehehehe.... purrr...meow!
    Oh, latest news from Aussie scientists: cat food is the best stuff to kill cane toads!

  1. says:

    Anonymous "I try to be as balanced ......"

    Oh, that reminds me of the BALANCE symbol used by a certain political party as was mentioned in your previous blog.

    Well, how can you balance the BALANCE when you have a Rosmah on one end, and a Wan Azizah on the other?

  1. says:

    Anonymous In Australia, cat food is the best stuff to kill cane toads.

    In Malaysia, ringgit is the best stuff to lure hopping frogs!

  1. says:

    Batu Pahat Gerakan has urged Umno not to accept Zulkifli as a member.

    No hurry. No worry. He can always be a BN-friendly independent MP!

  1. says:

    Anonymous Sheesh...why is da big slug's comment so great, anon@5:28 PM?

    It would stopped the globe from rotating if it had the means to. Obviously it can't, thank God!

    ~wits0~

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Angelina

    I was going to email you and ask if you are ok. Are you in KL now?

    OK - I will check it out later...Miss your comments, dearie.

    Take care and salam to you and your entire family.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 7.28pm

    :-) I love your comment :-) and your sense of humor.

    Take care and thanks for the smiles.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 7.33 pm

    Thanks for your witty comment! Love your sense of humor :-). Take care and have a lovely evening!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Batu Pahat

    I believe many are expecting that in the pipeline :-).

    Thanks for sharing! Take care and do continue to be the conscience of this nation.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear ~wits0~

    Love the graphic :-) and the comment here.

    Take care and God bless you!

    Cheers

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