TGIF HUMOR

Posted by Unknown On Friday, March 5, 2010 48 comments
I managed to post my rant about error bX-h905gs but cannot schedule my post ahead of time so I will have to try to schedule this post again or post it later in the morning. I can still publish/respond to comments but I will not be able to edit posts so please forgive me if you see typo/grammatical errors. Thanks for your patience and understanding. Here are some jokes to keep us sane :-). Have a nice day!

UPDATE AT 5.20a.m. What a relief! Blogger has resolved the issue for me! Thank God and thank you Blogger, Google and DarkUFO for your help. Blog is running well now. Phew!!!!
_________________________________
THE MAGIC FROG

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."

The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"

The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."

The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
________________________
Adam's Rib

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?"

Adam said, "Lord, I don't have anyone to talk to."

God said, "Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a 'woman'. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give 'love' and compassion whenever needed. She will never question your behaviour or the company you keep. She will support you and understand that you have important decisions to make throughout your life and don't have time for nonsense..."

Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?"

God said, "An arm and a leg..."

Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"
_________________________

The Accident

A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars - there's nothing left! Thank God we are all right. This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other."

The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely."

The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, "And here's another miracle. Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. He then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."

48 comments to TGIF HUMOR

  1. says:

    Anonymous Good morning ! (iwc)

  1. says:

    Unknown Good morning!!!:-) My life was shortened by the blog hiccup. :-( Thank God the issue has been resolved! Now I can sleep!!!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Anonymous sleep well zzzzzz!

  1. says:

    Anonymous Adam should have sacrificed 2 ribs then every bini comes with an aide .
    SIGH !

  1. says:

    Anonymous In any land that ever have a moral police force the elites are always first entrenched above the law!

    Somethings like Dewars white label scotch, they never vary!

    ~wits0~

  1. says:

    Unknown Thank you, IWC. I only had 2 hrs sleep thanks to the hiccup.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear IWC

    Witty comment haha...you practise polygamy????

    :-)

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear ~wits0~

    :-) Very powerful comment so early in the morning!!!

    Thanks!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Penangite Do frogs make empty promises?

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Penangite

    Excellent response! Thanks!!

    A certain species of frogs do that. :-)

    Have a lovely weekend.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Village Boy A political frog will make promises to build bridges even where there are no rivers!

  1. says:

    Catherine Women seem to be wiser than men, don't they!

  1. says:

    Tak Malu Ibrahim Ali: The Greatest Frog in Malaysian Politics.

    You know what, this filthy frog hops more times than any other politicians in the country.

    From Pas to Berjasa to Umno to Semangat 46, back to Umno, sacked from Umno for ignoring orders not to contest as an Independent in 2004, and presently an Independent MP who won on a Pas ticket in the 2008 GE.

    To be continued......

  1. says:

    Anonymous PERKASA is the Malaysian version of the ku klux klan. These guys are UmNo's have-been, demoted and forgotten, just like their patron 'saint', Froggy Ibrahim Ali.

    To be heard again within UmNo's party ranks, they formed PERKASA, in the hope of gaining recognition and maybe a voice, a seat or position within UmNo, the financial capital of the corrupt.

    This group of 'saints' will never die. They feed on the plight of the poor, the less educated, the religious-inclined Malays by scaring them.

  1. says:

    ahoo Magic frog - from the trap into the fire. How wonderful if this is true to those jumping frogs, from a small enclosed jungle into the frying wok.

    Adam's Rib - No wonder the best meats are those around the area of the rib. But I still prefer those frog legs, at anytime, anywhere.

    The Accident - This is a witty one ! Never ever underestimate the prowess of women. They may look naive but without them, there is no home but just a house.

    May you bring joy & smile to all that you come into contact with during the coming weeks !

  1. says:

    Selvi There are two kinds of cleverness: One consists of thinking of a bright remark in time to say it.
    The other consists of thinking of it in time not to say it.

  1. says:

    Anonymous The frogs have learned a new catch phrase - independent but BN-friendly.

  1. says:

    Boleh Man I strongly opine that the rakyat are viewing the defections of those shameless frogs from PKR as an assurance that Pakatan will put forth more
    constitutionally-principled and competent candidates in the next general elections.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Village Boy

    How true! Lying is a mastered art for these amphibians!

    Take care and have a lovely weekend.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Catherine

    :-) How true but in reality, we have to battle against discrimination...

    Take care and have a blessed day!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Tak Malu

    Really??? Thanks for the input. With such a track record, it is amazing people still believe him and allow him to lead.

    I look forward to reading part 2 of your input.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Best wishes

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 11.56am

    Many thanks for your sharp and observant comment. It is saddening and disturbing to learn about this...

    Thanks for sharing it with us. God bless you and yours always.

    Shalom

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear ahoo

    My deepest appreciation to you for your witty response to this post and for your wishes too!

    Thank you for blessing us with your input and positivism.

    May God bless you yours with more showers of blessings today and always.

    Shalom

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Selvi

    Thanks for your words of wisdom which are truly needed during such trying times.

    May God bless you with more opportunities to inspire those around you and to touch their lives.

    Take care and do keep in touch!

    Have a great day!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 12.36pm

    They are smarter than we think, right? All the more we need to exercise wisdom and to test what people say that we may not be fooled any more.

    Thanks for sharing your views.

    Take care and God bless you!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Boleh Man

    Thank you very much for your positive statement and hopeful response. We have to keep our spirits high and be steadfast in our cause.

    Take care and may you continue to be a source of inspiration here and to those around you!

    Have a great day!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Tak Malu Part 2?

    Very simple!

    The Greatest Frog is forgiven & forgotten.
    It is believed that he lives miserably ever after!

  1. says:

    Anonymous Umno politics have always incorporated elitist feudalism and Paki styled religiosity to serve umno's ends. The rest of bn only sells your backsides to umno - for cheap.

    ~wits0~

  1. says:

    Village Boy Asked why he never listened to his conscience, The King Frog replied, "I get a very poor reception."

  1. says:

    Anonymous Pakatan Rakyat should hold "thanksgiving prayers" to mark the departure of the now-independent BN-friendly MPs.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear ~wits0~

    *stunned*

    Thanks for a very sharp and thought-provoking statement.

    During such times, we need loads of soul-searching and analysis to see what is real and what really matters...

    Take care and thanks for sharing.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Village Boy

    You are in your element today! Love that comment :-)>

    Thanks for your witty input.

    Take care and God bless you always.

    Shalom

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 1.55pm

    Excellent suggestion. Many religions teach us to give thanks in all circumstances and to be hopeful instead of worrisome.

    Take care and God bless you.

    Shalom

  1. says:

    Anonymous NO lah .... hanya mau bini's younger aide to do the 'washing, cleaning , mopping, changing & ....& ....!'. (iwc)

  1. says:

    Penangite Next time around, those of calibre must come forward to offer themselves as candidates. And the opposition must, on its part, be prepared to select people from outside the party. Never mind if they are not party people. Never mind if they are from the NGOs, civil society movements, activists, academicians, writers, Bloggers, or whatnot. Select them as candidates even if they have no party track record but are qualified and capable. This is what must happen the next time around, if there is a next time.

    ~~ Raja Petra Kamarudin

    Well, mws, take note, please!
    You can count on us to give you our 100% support!

  1. says:

    Anonymous The accumulation of day-to-day actions becomes the achievements of one year, one decade, and perhaps one life-time.

    Lawan tetap lawan!

  1. says:

    Anonymous None is more impoverished than the one who has no gratitude. Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.

  1. says:

    Kampung Girl Empty Vessel, Tin Kosong, Super Frog, Despicable Chameleon, Ibrahim Ali, are they all synonymous?

  1. says:

    Anonymous After all those froggy PKR MPs have left, PKR will have cleansed itself, leaving only uprighteous & incorruptable MPs.
    Hopefully, PKR is now one of the best political parties to vote for.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Penangite

    Thanks for that timely quote and your validating note of support. I appreciate your kindness and hope that you will step forward to serve the people :-).

    And I will also support you! Take care and God bless you always.

    Enjoy the weekend.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 2.19pm

    Thanks for that inspiring input. Indeed every single action counts. May you continue to be a source of strength, inspiration and motivation here and to those around you.

    Take care and God bless you! Keep in touch, ya?

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 2.24pm

    What an appropriate comment that suits our political climate. Even animals have the ability to show their gratitude so what has happened to some people? Most saddening.

    Thanks for sharing. Take care and enjoy your weekend.

    God bless you!

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Kampung Girl

    Lovely to hear from you again!

    Thanks for the synonyms :-).

    Short, sweet, succinct and simple.

    You made your point so concisely :-).

    Take care and God bless you!

    Shalom

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 3 p.m.

    I share your hope and sentiments too.

    Thanks so much for your comment. Take care and have a blessed weekend.

    Keep in touch!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Tak Malu

    Brilliant comment to finish off the frogs :-)!

    Thanks for sharing.

    Have a blessed weekend.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear IWC @ 2.03 pm

    :-) Haha! Sure or not??? Sorry...just pulling your leg. Thanks for the laughs. Take care and have a great weekend.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Anonymous panas...panas...PANAS ! WEATHER in IPOH is killing lah ...HELP !!

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 8.33pm

    Here in Penang it is very hot too!

    Always in the air cond...

    Take care and have a cooler weekend.

    Shalom

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