Recently, a blog reader left very negative comments to which I responded with patience, forbearance and a willingness to reach out and meet him or her in a middle road stance. Some readers responded and that reader persisted in labeling us as racists etc. I decided to delete his negative and derogatory comments together with all other responses including mine in all fairness. I certainly hope that such characters will not damage the ambiance of this blog which I painstaking built over the past two years. I appreciate positive and constructive comments but NOT virulent, derogatory, accusing and confrontational comments from people with malicious intent. I had no choice but to delete such damaging comments.
Thanks to StraightTalking and wits0 for their responses to this character. Thanks also to all my readers who have been observing decorum and leaving lovely, inspirational and constructive comments. Take care. DO leave a comment as always. Have a lovely evening!
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How to Stop Absorbing Other People's Negative Emotions
In "Emotional Freedom," Judith Orloff emphasizes the importance of learning how to stay centered in a stressful, highly emotionally charged world. Since emotions such as fear, anger, and frustration are energies, you can potentially "catch" them from people without realizing it.
If you tend to be an emotional sponge, it's vital to know how to avoid taking on an individual's negative emotions or the free-floating kind in crowds.
Another twist is that chronic anxiety, depression, or stress can turn you into an emotional sponge by wearing down your defenses. Suddenly, you become hyper-attuned to others, especially those with similar pain. That's how empathy works; we zero in on hot-button issues that are unresolved in ourselves.
From an energetic standpoint, negative emotions can originate from several sources. What you're feeling may be your own; it may be someone else's; or it may be a combination. I'll explain how to tell the difference and strategically bolster positive emotions so you don't shoulder negativity that doesn't belong to you.
This wasn't something she could always do. Growing up, her girlfriends couldn't wait to hit the shopping malls and go to parties, the bigger the better -- but she didn't share their excitement. She always felt overwhelmed, exhausted around large groups of people, though I was clueless why. "What's the matter with you?" friends would say, shooting her the weirdest looks.
She realized that she didn't like crowded places and would leave nervous, depressed, or with some horrible new ache or pain. Unsuspectingly, she was a gigantic sponge, absorbing the emotions of people around me.
With her patients, she saw how absorbing other people's emotions can trigger panic attacks, depression, food, sex and drug binges, and a plethora of physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that more than two million Americans suffer from chronic fatigue. It's likely that many of them are emotional sponges.
Here are some strategies from "Emotional Freedom" to practice. They will help us to stop absorbing other people's emotions.
Emotional Action Step: How to Stay Centered in a Stressful World
To detach from other people's negative emotions:
* First, ask yourself, "Is the feeling mine or someone else's?" It could be both. If the emotion such as fear or anger is yours, gently confront what's causing it on your own or with professional help. If not, try to pinpoint the obvious generator. For instance, if you've just watched a comedy, yet you came home from the movie theater feeling blue, you may have incorporated the depression of the people sitting beside you; in close proximity, energy fields overlap. The same is true with going to a mall or packed concert.
* When possible, distance yourself from the suspected source. Move at least twenty feet away; see if you feel relief. Don't err on the side of not wanting to offend strangers. In a public place, don't hesitate to change seats if you feel a sense of depression imposing on you.
* For a few minutes, center yourself by concentrating on your breath: This connects you to your essence. Keep exhaling negativity, inhaling calm. This helps to ground yourself and purify fear or other difficult emotions Visualize negativity as gray fog lifting from your body, and hope as golden light entering. This can yield quick results.
* Negative emotions such as fear frequently lodge in your emotional center at the solar plexus. Place your palm there as you keep sending loving-kindness to that area to flush stress out. For longstanding depression or anxiety, use this method daily to strengthen this center. It's comforting and builds a sense of safety and optimism.
* Shield yourself. A handy form of protection many people use, including healers with trying patients, involves visualizing an envelope of white light (or any color you feel imparts power) around your entire body. Think of it as a shield that blocks out negativity or physical discomfort but allows what's positive to filter in.
* Look for positive people and situations. Call a friend who sees the good in others. Spend time with a colleague who affirms the bright side of things. Listen to hopeful people. Hear the faith they have in themselves and others. Also relish hopeful words, songs, and art forms. Hope is contagious, and it will lift your mood.
Keep practicing these strategies. We don't have to reinvent the wheel each time you're on emotional overload. With strategies to cope, we can have quicker retorts to stressful situations, feel safer, and our sensitivities can blossom.
Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff's new book, "Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life" (Harmony Books, 2009).
Have a nice day, dear reader! My next post will be before dinner time.
Kenneth Many a time, people's hearts are mired in darkness, filled with just the opposite of integrity - dishonesty, deviousness and cold calculation.
Hence, we must never allow ourselves to be defeated by such irresponsible and arrogant people!
Speaking with integrity should be our weapon. Integrity should be our motto, too!
Let's forge ahead, advance with integrity and extinguish barefaced lies, sheer bravado and cruel deception!
Have a nice evening.