OUTBACK HUMOR

Posted by Unknown On Wednesday, May 19, 2010 20 comments
A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he has squandered all of his money. He calls home.

'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk.'

'That's amazing!' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?'

'Just send him down here with $2,000,' the young jackaroo says, 'I'll get him in the course.'

So ... his father sends the dog and $2,000.

About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. 'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know.

'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm. But you just won't believe this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read.'

'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?'

'Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class.'

The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.

'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!'

'Dad,' the boy says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, sitting back in the recliner, reading the Courier Mail. Then he suddenly turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead barmaid at the pub?''

The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you got rid of him before he talks to your Mother!'

'I sure did, Dad!' 'That's my boy!'

The kid went on to be a successful Barrister.

* The above joke was sent to me by my friend Freddie. No canine was harmed in the production of this joke and I wish to confirm that I am a dog lover. Just posted this for laughs! Have a nice day!

20 comments to OUTBACK HUMOR

  1. says:

    houdini Over in Malaysia they are still handing out crutches.

    Putrajaya last fixed petrol prices when 1USD=3.70Rgt. Now Rgt is 3.20 against USD, and Putrajaya has also admitted a 10.1% growth.

    Meanwhile oil prices have fallen about 20USD per barrel, but Malaysian motorists pay at the old price (about 15% more than what they should be).

    Has Putrajaya`s Finance Minister made another huge loss (like the circa `93 "Tin" losss) playing forward contracts on oil prices through Petronas & TNB while malaysian taxpayers now have to save his ass - once again.

  1. says:

    Kampung Girl What a nice joke!

  1. says:

    Anonymous Stung by a string of resignations by its lawmakers, PKR is asking disgruntled members to leave within a month if they cannot commit to the party’s struggle for justice and reforms.

    -- Malaysian Insider

    Bravo, PKR! That's the way aha-aha!

  1. says:

    KoSong Cafe With the internet, the jokes are getting better with new twists which readers expect.

    Jokes aside, it is true that certain professions require certain innate 'qualities' (depending on how we look at them) and a straight forward person would lose out.

    Have a nice day!

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Harcharan

    Thank you so much for sharing these facts and figures. I will try to write something about this later.

    It is quite disconcerting to read the discrepancy and to know that we are paying higher prices and why do we wonder...

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Kampung Girl

    Glad you enjoyed the humor!

    Have a great day!

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 8.15am

    Indeed!!! That is the way. They should have done this LONG ago!! Thanks for sharing.

    Have a nice day!

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Kosong Cafe

    Indeed it is true that a street-smart person is more likely to do well in certain professions than others with mere academic qualifications alone.

    One has to be tough to survive in this cruel world.

    Take care and have a blessed day!

  1. says:

    Anonymous " ok, SON ...let's have a deal : you
    help me & I help you ...!! "

  1. says:

    Penangite Polygamy : Bung Moktar jailed 1 month, fined RM1,000

    ~~ Malaysiakini

    Is this what we have expected?

  1. says:

    Anonymous wat ! only ONE month & ONE ribu rm for dat @#$%^&*bang ah !?

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 11.36am

    I truly wonder if our PM ever thought of the long-lasting consequences of his words...

  1. says:

    Cat-from-Sydney Aunty Paula,
    The jackaroo would have better luck with a cat. Serious. purrr.....meow!

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Penangite

    In an updated report, Malaysian Insider said:

    Wan Mahyuddin said that court has sentenced a severe punishment so that that the public will respect the institution of marriage and a lesson for those that do not respect the Islamic legal system.

    What can we say when the judge says it is a severesentence?

    Sighs

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 11.42am

    Yup! And Gobalakrishnan has to pay a fine of 3000rm for his offence.

    Sighs

    Don't forget this is Malaysia....

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Angelina

    Haha!! I am very sure! :-)

    *winks*

    Take care! Lovely to hear from you again.

    Salam

  1. says:

    Anonymous The judge says it is a severe sentence. So be it!

    As you have said, this is Malaysia!
    Laws are man-made, aren't they?

    Malaysia Boleh!

  1. says:

    Anonymous I smell rats ! I believe that some of our ministers children are doing just that. Always in party mood at any one time especially the minister of ??? in the PM's dept. The photos are flying everwhere with beer, liquor, smoking and hugging taking place together.

    They have the guts to tell Datuk Zaid off and talk of religiousity. Talking religion in the front but stealing from the coffers at the back. Worst still, passing themselves off as men of integrity
    and law abiding but are the very person that will take the law into their own hands.

    Chinese saying: No medicine can save them unless they repent of their sinful acts and return all those stolen from the poor. How can they allowed the poor in the estates and the plantations to work their butts off and yet can't make ends meet ? Eh, no luxury here but just to put plain rice on their table, three meals a day.

    The minimum salary scale MUST be implemented and let us rise up to take this stand for the poor. We cannot allow slavery to thrive in modern society and more so right in our backyard.

    Forget about mic, mca, ppp, gerakan and umno for that matter. We the ordinary people can do something about it to alleviate the sufferings of those poor in one way or another.

    Any taker for this noble move to "help them to help us" sound familiar, ya. Seriously, write to MWS in confident and I believe we can do something to impact society at large albeit in small scale. GBU
    ~ahoo~

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 12.38pm

    Sometimes, certain words have relative meanings and shades of differences in between, including 'severe'..

    *wink*

    Take care and have a nice day!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear ahoo

    You never cease to amaze me by the speed of your thought processes, critical thinking skills and analytical abilities. How you can relate this joke to the scenario you mentioned is stunning! I confess I did not even think of it when I posted it!!

    I am sure you would be an asset in any think tank!!

    I do agree with you that we do not need to join large organizations to do wonders.

    Miracles can happen in very small ways - all it takes is a BIG heart and that is something I know YOU have!!!

    God bless you for blessing us!! Take care and have a lovely evening.

    Shalom

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