Men and women come from different planets and speak different languages. I am putting up this post as a public duty to women (*winks*) with the hope that they can better understand their spuses. :-) Have a nice day!
1. "I'M GOING FISHING":
Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and sit in a boat with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
2. "IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".
3. "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
4. "UH HUH", "SURE, HONEY" or alternately "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
5. "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
6. "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."
7. "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
8. "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"
9. "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
10. "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
11. "OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
12. "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
13. "I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my out stretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
14. "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
15. "I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
16. "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."
17. "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
18. "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
8 comments to THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF MEN
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Cat-from-Sydney Aunty Paula,
You got the translation for #1 wrong. Instead of:
1. "I'M GOING FISHING":
Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and sit in a boat with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
It should read:
Translated: I love the cat more than I do you. At least she doesn't nag or talk back.
har har har *evil laughs*
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nick Dear Sis,
My early morning idea for your post. Hope it meets your approval.
MALAYSIAN GOMEN SLOGAN OR PROMISES OR WHATEVER (AND WHAT THEY TRULY MEAN).
1. 1Malaysia- People first, Performance Now (popularized Mr. Prime Ministered Najib but plagiarized from somewhere else in the middle east).
What it means: If Malaysian until now can’t deduce what’s my real intention are, then “bring out the champagne, boys! They have just handed me the treasury key!”
2. Let’s make a deal. I help you, you help me! (Again ‘diarrhea’ed by the Prime Ministered fella).
What it means : I’ll help you sign a cheque for RM 5Million, and you will help me get away with a couple of billion of your money. “We got a deal or not?”
3.New Economic Model. (A policy, again from the Ministered one).
What it means : Actually, I haven’t the foggiest idea on how to handle the economy or the finance ministry for that matter. Hopefully with the insertion of “NEW” and “MODEL” (Oh, how I miss Mongolia!) in my policy, people will shut up about the economy, already!
4.High Income Economy ( You guess it! Another one from the clueless Ministered!)
What it means: Trying to make the people sweat and toil to get high income similar in quantity to what my UMNOputras are getting now by doing nothing (but shake leg or shake down). Maximum calorie intake, zero energy expenditure! (Hey! Got to tell the Missus First Trolley, I finally found the answer to her BIG problem!)
5. Bleu..oppss..Blue Ocean Strategy. A favorite book read (someone mentioned it to him and it sure sounds Stephen Hawkishly genius!) by the man behind the woman, literally!
What it means to PERwhatever Leader, hater of the “Le Cuisses de Granouilles” (Frog leg cuisine to us Malaysian, Get the recipe here http://www.ffcook.com/pages/frenchfrogs.htm#froglegs): Blue Ocean is me, trying to look and smell brilliant and also, I know for a fact not a single UMNO people really understand the book. Not understanding or comprehending the book doesn’t stop me from expounding it (Wow, “expounding”! I used a word I'm barely able to pronounce! This calls for a demo!)
I want to continue with some slogan from AAB and TDM but I think that enough for now.
Have a great day Sis and blessing for all of us.
Nick.
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Anonymous Men are from MARS and it is surprising to find many of them still waiting for MISS right to arrive at his doorstep after 50 years ? My own BIL is one of them.
MARS - Many Are Remaining Single.
A lady without her man is nothing!
A lady, without her man, is nothing! (men's language, ha ha ha)
A lady, without her, man is nothing! (ladies version and see who got the last laugh???)
Thus, God saw that Adam by himself was not good. He needs a help mate and Eve was then created. And it begins the era of sin and "the blame" game.
The above quote of " A lady without her man is nothing," will be argued till kingdom comes.
Another saying : Behind every successful man is the woman. Behind every unsuccessful man is THE other woman. And we learned this very truth from the early life of father Abram. We have the world in turmoil today with unceasing conflicts, thanks to Sarai's decision that Abram slept with Hagar the Egyptian maidservant.
The rest is history,.... they said. Painful lessons for us to learn that God's timing is for Him alone to decides and not foe us to be a one time hero that will cause untold sorrows. Have a beautiful sabbath day!
~ahoo~
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Unknown Dear Angelina
Perfect response from my purrrfect feline darling friend!
Take care.
Salam
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Unknown Dear Nick
Thanks so much for this fantastic comment! I don't know how your mind is so fertile and creative. Oh - to be young again!!! I appreciate the time taken for you to share this with us. I know many are glad you are back!!! Me number one Nick fan!!!
Have a great week!
Salam
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Unknown Dear ahoo
Thanks for sharing these quotable quotes with us. Appreciate your time and effort to source these to jive with the post.
Hope you had a blessed day in His house today! Take care and have a blessed week!
Shalom
Village Boy 3. "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
Haha, I love this one!