Well, it is Monday and some of you may need something to jump start your week so here's a list of classifications of guys and gals which will probably bring many smiles to your face :-). Take care and have a great week ahead! Cheers
1. Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?"
Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snuggle Pup
Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy
2. Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV."
Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk
Advantages: Stays put; predictable
Disadvantages: Royal pain in the ass
3. Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did."
Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you
Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled
Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle
4. Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'."
Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n' Dumb
Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled
Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig
5. Lazybones - "Zzzzzz"
Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict
Advantages: Well rested; easy target
Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfull your dreams
6. The Sneak - "Who, me?"
Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a Bitch
Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt
Disadvantages: May be having time of his life
7. Ace of Hearts - "After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?"
Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster
Advantages: Perpetually aroused
Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused
8. The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but--"
Also known as: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind
Advantages: Tells good stories
Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus"
9. Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?"
Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy
Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer
Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction
10. Ms. Nice Guy - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh, darling, you shouldn't have!"
Also known as: Whattagal, Precious, one of the boys, My Main
Squeeze, Doormat
Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindly
Disadvantages: May wise up someday
11. Old Yeller - "You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable??"
Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell
Advantages: Pays attention to you
Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans
12. Sickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite."
Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Grumpy
Advantages: Predictable
Disadvantages: Contagious
13. The Bosser - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look."
Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, Yes Mom
Advantages: Often right
Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?
14. Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair color?"
Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw C'mon Honey
Advantages: Easily soothed
Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed
15. Wild Woman out of Control - "I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun."
Also known as: Fast Girl, Freewheeler, Goodtime Charleena, Passed Out
Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys
Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs
16. Huffy - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at."
Also known as: No Fun, Humorless Prig, Cold fish, Chilly
Proposition, Iceberg, Snarly
Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you
Disadvantages: You will have no friends
17. Woman from Mars - "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship."
Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic
Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable
Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud
18. Ms. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like crazed weasels now!"
Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous
Advantages: Funny, intelligent, uninhibited
Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you
8 comments to CLASSIFICATION OF GUYS AND GALS *humor*
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nick Sis,
I think the classification works for the BN ministers (and personalities) too.
1. Joe sensitive - describes the Homely minister well, doesn't it? He is just irritating (no compassion) and wimpy too. Auw! Auw! He just hates those blogging, hair saloon gossiping mothers!
2. Old man grumpus- you know who this is! Why, it's the Super Octapoo TDM! To the Grumpy mobile (Porsche Cayenne), Froggy (his sidekick)! A right royal pain in the ass (and other places too).
3. Flinchy - none other than "our" current top leader MR Pink M! Easily spooked by a King Frog and surrenders w/out a struggle (to his trolley ..err..lady).
4. Bigfoot - Our minister in the Pink M Dept who frequently put those bigfoot in his mouth. Easily fooled but sweats like a pig. Doesn't like frog and the grumpy old man very much. Always mistaken for those "swastika loving" people!
5. Lazy bone -Zzzzzz... Every Malaysian knows who this is too! Easy target (cos he's always sleeping) and unlikely to fulfill your dream (tell that to his fav son in law (dream being the PM by 40??)who BTW didn't go to Oxford to learn law).
6. The sneak. "Who, me?" The minister in the Pink M dept who had his Polsec arrested with millions in cash. Maybe having the time of his life (robbing the treasury, just like what he did to the Central bank).
7. Ace of hearts.... used to be a chief minister but had to resigned for obvious reason. Perpetually aroused which certainly proved that sometimes "two head is not better than one"!
8. The dreamer..used to be the most powerful bully on the 4th floor but his marriage license is his Achilles heel now. Used to dreamed of being the top man before he is 40 but because of the Old man grumpus, might not be the top man even when he is 80. The irony is that he could well turn out to be another Old man Grumpus (should explain why the old man dislike him so much... The same poles repel each other).
9. Mr Right, Mr Perfect...a total myth, fictitious character and in actual reality would not fit into a kitchen cabinet (maybe the cabinet became too small because there's a trolley in the cabinet too...go figure!)
10. Ms Nice Guy....always mistaken for an actress in "mami Jarum", looks harmless and actually brainless (she's very fond of raising lembus...no, I'm not talking about her children. She really did got a big loan for setting up a huge lembu ranch ..err.. minus the lembu). Thus truly is one of the boys in terms of getting rich by way of her position.
11. Old yeller..actually meant for describing a female but in his case, he is more that appropriate. He not only changed his gender but he changed his species too. Now he is known as the Frog King. Be careful cos although he is a frog he can throw the frying pan, the stove and the kitchen cabinet at you as well.
12. The Bosser... I bet that every and I do mean every Malaysian know who she is! Ball and Chain is her mild side! A pile driver and a body slam (WWE) is her true trademark. ALWAYS RIGHT (I mean, you don't want her RIGHT hand ALWAYS whacking your head) and "I get what I want" is her motto. Have unbridled fondness for carpets (and the seller too?)
and last but not least
13. Huffy the tourist organizer...No fun, humorless prig, cold fish and a Siberian winter is putting it mildly (not to mention barren as in the intellectual content). Have no friend at all (except for a pharmacist turn construction pal)and we expect her to attract tourist?
Hope that my reworked classification is to your liking , Sis.
Have a great week ahead and GOD bless.
Nick.
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Unknown Dear StraighTalking
LOL!! I hope your wife does not read my blog!!! Good heavens!
LOL!!!
Take care and thanks for the laughs.
Cheers
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Unknown Dear Nick
Another brilliant comment!! Aiyo - how come you can with the click of a mouse modify the post so creatively and meaningfully? The Almighty must have given you this gift to humor and to enlighten us.
Please, dear Nick, can I repost this???
I hope you will say yes.
It will be later this week cos I have scheduled stuff already for the next few days.
Thanks so much for sharing and caring.
May the Almighty bless you and yours always.
Salam
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nick Sis,
I'm glad my comment brought a smile to your face in spite of the gloom that surrounds us and our country. As always I am honored that you want to re post it. Consider it yours, Sis.
Nick.
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Unknown Dear Nick
Thank you so much. You are a real blessing and so gifted in creativity and writing!!
I am really VERY blessed to have people like you, ahoo, StraightTalking and the other readers who take the trouble to comment and to enrich this blog.
Do take care and have a restful evening with your family.
Salam
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Anonymous The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but--"
Also known as: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind
Advantages: Tells good stories
Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus"
Hahaha! I was almost like a dreamer. I dreamt to be like the rich and famous BUT got no plans nor goals for the future.
When wifey asked to buy house in the late 80s', I said no leh. The savings for business mah. After our business has taken off, I'll get you any house you fancy. The dreamer was talkig then.
We only started to buy properties from year 2000. It takes a woman of strong character to trust a dreamer, hahaha! It pays to dream well and to aim high too. Even if that dream fails we can try another one. For dreamers are born and not trained,....like Joseph of old.
~ahoo~
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Unknown Dear ahoo
Many thanks for sharing so openly about your dreams and how you strived to achieve those dreams. You are blessed to have your lovely missus who not only believes and trusts you but also supports you in her own loving way.
Here's wishing that the Lord will continue to make your dreams come true as you walk in His ways.
Take care and thanks for blessing us this way.
Shalom
Anonymous My God!!! Mother of the Universe!!!
Number 13 "Ze Bosser" is frighteningly familiar...sounds like "Ze Wife". kakakakakaka
StraightTalking