While women complain that the cannot understand men, I am sure men say the same thing about women. Just for laughs, here are Courses Women Should be REQUIRED to take to make the world a better place :-). Have a lovely Saturday!
* Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
* The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
* Parties: Going Without New Outfits
* Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
* Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
* Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
* Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
* Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
* Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
* Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
* Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
* Introduction to Parking
* Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
* Water Retention: Fact or Fat
* Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
* Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
* Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
* Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
* PMS: Your Problem... Not His
* Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
* Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
* Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
* Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
* Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
* TV Remotes: For Men Only
10 comments to COMPULSORY COURSES FOR WOMEN *humor*
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nick Sis,
Compulsory courses for woman and why it will never be a hit with woman.
1. Silence, the final frontier : It sound Star Trek, it looks star Trek and real woman NEVER like Star Trek. (I'm not saying that when a woman says she loves The Star Trek series she is lying. No...it's quite similar to faking an orgasm...err.. I really don't want to go deeper into that!
2. Undiscovered side of banking: making deposit. As far as a woman is concerned, there is only one side to a bank and that side is the corner of the bank where the ATM is located.
3. Parties : going without new outfit. A woman will be OK with that only if tomorrow she will be living in a new state or a new continent, preferably.
4. Man management: minor chores can wait until after the game. It's not the chores that counts to a woman,it's the obedience. "He really loves me if he did the chores even though the game is live on tele. If he doesn't, I'm going to cry and refuse to make dinner until he apologizes and buy me a present preferably a diamond whatever".
5. Bathroom etiquette 1: men need space in the bathroom cabinet too. To a woman, men allocation of space in the bathroom cabinet is directly proportional to the time he spends showering or bathing. Thus the space for toothbrush and razor only.
6. Communication skills 1: tears, the last resort not the first. To a woman, winning is all that matters not how. So use the best weapon that can win the war immediately. Blitzkrieg!
7. Communication skills 2: thinking before speaking. To a woman, it will be a waste of time because men NEVER listen!
8. Communication skills 3: Getting what you want without nagging. "What's the fun in that???"
9. Driving a car safely: a skill that you can acquire. "What are men insinuating??? All woman drive safely and carefully, it's just that all the traffic signs, laws and road design are done by men and are very confusing to a woman delicate personality".
I'll stop here Sis cos I need to do some chores to this morning.. he..he..
have a great weekend Sis and GOD bless.
Nick.
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Selvi By attending all these courses, my loving hubby will run away from me in no time!
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stephen In the immortal words of an (in)famous individual caught on vidcam, "correct,correct,correct".
Did you know that the word WOMEN is a stylised form of acronym derived from the words - WOe be to MEN.
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Unknown Dear mokjadeandell
:-p Fantastic response haha! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Here's wishing you a great weekend with your family and feline darlings.
Salam
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Unknown Dear Nick
You are really very gifted in churning out such witty responses to my posts!! Terima kasih!!
I love your version of #9!!! Just when I scrolled down for more - alamak - you had to attend to your chores...Sighs..
Anyway, thanks so much for the light and classy entertainment. Here's wishing you and yours a fantastic weekend!
Salam
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Unknown Dear Selvi
LOL!! I am sure he will not cos he loves you far too much! Thanks for sharing your sense of humor :-).
Take care and have a lovely weekend!
Cheers
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Unknown Dear Stephen
Haha! Welcome back! I see you are in your element after a great holiday with your missus :-p! Always lovely to read your witty comments.
Take care and enjoy the weekend.
Cheers
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HotDogg Dear aunty Paula,
I know I'm going to get killed, but I just have to say this...
If women is a dish, then the only ingredients necessary are money and love (the physical and mental variety). Without any one of the two, the dish will taste awful.
OK, I'm outta here.
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nick Sis,
Compulsory courses for women..cont..
10. Telephone skill: learn to hang up- "If only men would really listen instead of nodding their head and saying "yes, dear!" while watching TV!"
11. Introduction to parking - the introduction was pleasant but the relationship was full of uncertainty!
12. Water retention : Fact or fat? "Come on! make my day and say fat!"
13. Cooking 1: Bringing back bacon, egg and butter! "Ok, lets compromise! I'll bring those back if men will cut down of beer consumption. No??? I knew you'll see the light! Light, not lite!!!
14. Cooking 2: Bran and tofu are not for human consumption. "neither is alcohol but that doesn't stop men from guzzling cases of it, hourly!
15. Cooking 3: How not to inflict your diet on other people. "It's not inflicting per se but rather a forceful persuasion. Don't you love me? Do you want me to cry? Am I asking too much?? NO? Then eat your dinner!"
16. Compliments: accepting them gracefully. "What do you mean gracefully??? Are men implying that women are ungraceful by nature? Could you gracefully sleep on the couch tonight???
17. PMS: Your problem..Not his. "AND, WHY NOT?????
18. Dancing : Why men don't like to. "Wait, I can just see it... other courses involving doing dishes, laundry and bathing. No thank you!"
19. Classic clothing: wearing outfit you already have. Only Ok if women are allowed to accessorize with RM10K diamond earrings, RM20K diamond necklace and what else..a 4 carat "D" diamond ring and that is truly a classic.
20. Households dust: A harmless natural occurrence that only woman notice. "Well, if men can't even notice a new dress or hairdo or even a new hair color, can we expect them to notice something as minuscule as a single dust particle?
21. Integrating your laundry: Washing it all together. The problem with men is that they don't follow instruction well. Didn't the label on the dress reads "wash separately"? Well???
22. Oil and gas: Your car need both. "Doesn't oil and gas refers to the same thing - petrol? Oh..Ok, I get it...gas refers to the air in the tyres, right???"
23. TV remotes: For men only. "As long as he flips to the channel that I want to watch, I don't have a problem with that! Not in this household anyway!"
Have a great Sunday Sis and GOD bless.
Nick.
mokja going through the list,it seems that the courses are meant to be for the peace of mind of the men.Men needs peace that bad so that they stay in one piece.Peace to all men!Let get the courses rolling,sharizat.