Last Friday, my friend made arrangements to have dinner with my family at 6.00pm after which we would drop my boy at his BM tuition before we proceeded to E-Gate where I had arranged to introduce my friend to him at 8p.m. By 7.15p.m.,there was no sign of him and no phone call so my better half and boy went to the nearby shops to eat. Following that, the girl called up and asked if I would like to have dinner with her or better still, invite my friend too. I said I would call him to find out the situation.Imagine - I was quite horrified that he was on the other end of the island as he had agreed to give a colleague a lift. I could not believe it when he said "Oh - I am not late cos the appointment is at 8p.m." He had brushed aside our dinner appointment to for a colleague without according us the courtesy of notification! And he had the audacity to say I was over-reacting etc etc and being a drama queen. Ya right. I had waited over an hour and did not kick up a fuss and that was my 'reward'. Sighs.
So, I told the girl who advised me not to be upset as she would take me anywhere I wanted to go for dinner. Shortly after she picked me, he arrived and my friend kindly turned back to pick him up and she proceeded to a newly opened Japanese restaurant. He was not truly apologetic and made a big joke about it without showing sensitivity to my feelings or even the inconvenience caused to my husband and son who had to rush to tuition after a quick dinner. And he said I was making a mountain out of a mole-hill because I hate people who are late for appointments. For the record, I am very flexible as long as people give me ample notice. At the same time, if I know I will be late for an appointment, I will call up the person and apologise and then give an estimated time of arrival.
By the time the waitress came to take the order, I really could not sit through the dinner and watch his nonchalant attitude about punctuality or the common courtesy of sending a simple text message or a phone call to say "Go ahead for dinner on your own" or "I'll be late so don't wait for me" or something to that effect. I was patient enough to wait for over an hour. Hubby and son did not complain and were seasoned by his tardiness.
And that's because he had done it to us MANY times over the years . Because we are old friends, I cherish the friendship and overlooked his habit. But this time, it was exacerbated by his indignant claim that it was MY fault for being sticky about time. Sighs. It hurts.
Then the next day, someone made an appointment with me for a discussion and did not turn up and did not send word as well. No apology as well. The day after that, another friend did not turn up as arranged three days earlier because she was quarrelling with her spouse and only called up 3 hours later to apologize. Yesterday, two old friends from Alor Star who arranged to see me yesterday also did not show up or call.
In the past, I would call up to ask what happened but these days, older and wiser, I don't bother but still get deeply disappointed and have been unable to write anything today except for this post.
I cannot believe that courtesy is such a rare trait. With the advances in telecommunication, sending a sms is a piece of cake and even making a telephone call via hands free or bluetooth is no problem.
It is the same for drivers on the road. Yesterday, there was this lady in a gold Altis (yes I know the number plate) who was honking at me along Burmah Road where I was waiting to turn into Codrington Avenue. So I turned back and waved my arm at her and signalled to the front to show her that I could not move! She came by and scolded me and gesticulated all kinds of obscene signs. Urrgh!!
And then there are those who don't bother to reply emails until MONTHS later or NEVER while there are some don't pick up calls and don't call back even if I leave messages. Oh - the list is endless. That is why I lead a very quiet life - saner this way and less complicated. However, I must say that through blogging, I have met very nice friends!!! Thank you for showing common courtesies to me.
Till this day, I cannot understand why some have no qualms about not keeping appointments or promises and cannot have the decency to show some courtesy of an apology. Well, it hurts to be treated without respect or consideration. I truly hope that such people are the rarity and not the norm in today's society.
It hurts to be taken for granted and to know that others don't really bother how they have hurt old friends. Anyway, writing this post has been quite therapeutic and I do feel much better now. I hope to put up a post later this evening. I need some chocolate therapy now to seal the route to recovery :-).
May you bless those around you with acts of kindness and love. Have a lovely evening!
Nerdcore Fishfoot Good evening, Masterwordsmith.
When I saw the words 'stood up', they take me back to the day I had to wait an hour for my friend to come with me to Sunway Pyramid. I ended up not going, and she only texted that she was busy when I arrived home.
I know it was study season then, but I'm still angry at her; making me sit and wait alone in a dress was torture. And to think she was the one who suggested the outing, and the idea of me wearing a dress!
My mom told me to forgive her and that in life, there'll be worse people. Maybe in Malaysia. I sometimes wished I was born in Germany, which I think is more orderly and serious about punctuality. Heck, the traffic light there goes from red to amber before the green light goes on. Convenient for both Manual and Auto drivers.
I thought of a joke on people whose time standards are very 'flexible' (read: Malaysians). When Earth is about to explode, I leave early. Once catastrophe hits them, those people wonder what happened.
Of course, I'm generalizing. I usually thought that I'm too rigid with time.
Driving... haiz... Has anyone ever thought of starting a reality show about the darndest ways Malaysians navigate the potholed roads? If it doesn't work for the local audience, let it cater to those who have departed from this country, reminding them why they left or making them wonder if they can still help fix it.
Hugs and salam.
Pants-extremist Fishfoot out. :)