masterwordsmith-unplugged

A young lad and his mother were walking down the street when suddenly the boy yelled out excitedly, "Mother, Mother, Look at that bowlegged man!"

His mother immediately hushed him, explaining it was not polite to make fun of bowlegged people.

The next day the same thing happened. "Look mother, there's that bowlegged man!"

The mother grabbed the lad by the arm saying, "When we get home you'll be punished for this outburst."

When they got home, she gave her son a work by Shakespeare, "Go to your room and read this book. You can't come out until you have finished it. Maybe you will learn something from this punishment."

Two days later they're walking down the same street when the boy again, spots the person of whom he had been making fun: "Hark! What manner of men are these, who weareth their legs as parentheses?"

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Family Tradition
Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot !"

Johnny: "It's a family tradition".

Teacher: "What do you mean?"

Johnny: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".

Teacher: "What about your mother?"

Johnny: "She's a woman..."

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Natural Childbirth
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, "How was I born?"

"Well honey..." said the slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought you to us."

"Oh," said the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"

"Oh, the stork brought us too." "Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy persisted.

"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mother, by now starting to squirm a little.

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:

"This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

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Somewhat skeptical of his son's newfound determination to become the next Charles Atlas, the father nevertheless followed the teenager over to the weight-lifting department.

"Please, Dad," whined the boy, "I promise I'll use them every day."

"I don't know, Michael. It's really a big commitment on your part," the father pointed out.

"Please, Dad?"

"They're not cheap either."

"I'll use them Dad, I promise. You'll see."

Finally won over, the father paid for the equipment and headed for the door.

From the corner of the store he heard his son yell, "What! You mean I have to carry them to the car?!"