Are you one those people that are almost always happy, no matter what is happening in your life? Frankly, I am not but I know a few people like that in my life and I am amazed at their natural ability to maintain a smile every day and to be in high spirits all the time. A friend of mine is like that, and I have to shake my head in amazement when something goes wrong and he just makes a joke as if it was nothing. That is definitely a great attitude!
Do you think that the ability to be happy is that a natural inborn thing? I think for some people it is, and really if you think about it we all have a “happiness set mark” at birth just like any DNA trademark. Some folks have brown hair, others blonde. Some are left-handed and others are weird. Personally, I believe happiness is within our power since actions we take and thoughts we control are obviously a huge part of that influence on happiness.
What that means is that we are born with a certain happiness set point but we don’t have to be satisfied with our life the way we are at birth. I feel that we can change our circumstances by changing our behavior. But what changes should we make that can make us happy? That is a question you will have to answer yourself, because everyone is different. Nevertheless, I really believe that is the hardest part for many people!
I know it’s insane, but many people seem to drift through life with no real “long-term” vision, which means they know what makes them happy for the moment, but not what will really fulfill their needs on a long-term basis. That, in my opinion, is the real definition of happiness. Once we figure out the really important things, we can then start making solid plans for obtaining those goals.
I always ask myself common questions such as:
* Do I really love what I am doing now?
* Do I see myself staying where I’m at for the next five years, ten years, even twenty years?
* Am I spiritually where I want to be? If not, how can I get there?
Aristotle said, “All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire.” But how much control do we really have, and how much is inborn and thus difficult to change?
I believe that happiness, a state of mind, is really under our control! (In other words, don’t try to blame others if we are feeling grouchy). And of course we can’t be happy all the time either, in fact it’s probably not even a realistic goal to set. But I believe that if we work on a well-defined list of characteristics that most happy people seem to present, our chances of happiness are much higher. I have read that the happiest among us have these traits in common:
* enjoy what they do for a living
* have close relationships with family & friends
* have a certain amount of faith (spiritual element)
* describe themselves as optimists
* have at least a modicum of good health
* and last, but not least, have enough material things that they don’t worry about
food or shelter for themselves or their family
I know what happiness means to me just as you do, and how I am sure there is much we can do to change how we feel about it.
What makes us happy? OURSELVES!!!
20 comments to WHAT MAKES US HAPPY?
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Anonymous " Hey, why are you so happy ? "
' because bull-fighters have won.'
" So what !?? "
' so i dun have to mop the floor ! '
Cheers with kopiputih !!
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Anonymous Dead men/women are the happiest!!!!!
I believe no one living can lay claim to be happy, Happy for a moment or sometime, yes. But because how one define what happiness mean to each and every individual is different. So the ultimate happiness is when we are dead.
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Anonymous Very strange lah , the other day they macam G-shepherds hantam the opponents with 4-0 BUT this morning they were like pussy cats ....i think , kira saja, they were told NOT to win !!??
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tupingera If you think that you're happy then you're not happy. Happiness is beyond words, descriptions,etc..
Happiness is a state of being.
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Unknown Hi Johnnie
Lovely to hear from you again! Glad you enjoyed this post. I also enjoyed writing it. Thanks for sharing your tender thoughts wrt happiness. May you always be happy with your beloved family and loved ones. Have a blessed week. Take care and please keep in touch!
Blessings to you and yours
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Unknown Hi Anon @ 11.44am
Haha! IWC? I thought Germany could win but I have to say Spain palyed quite well.
Cheers
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Unknown Dear Anon @ 12 noon
As I approach my twilight years, I believe there is a certain truth to what you shared. Life is full of challenges which may mar our happiness but it is again largely up to us to be happy. As for whether we are happier when dead, I guess it is because we would be in a different spiritual state. Take care and God bless you always. Thanks for sharing.
Cheers
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Unknown Dear Anon @ 12.30pm
Like you, I am also wondering why they played that way! Very strange!
Who do you think will win?
Cheers
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Unknown Dear tupingera
Yes, you are right. Happiness is indescribable and is indeed a state of being...Well said, my friend!
Thanks for sharing.
Have a lovely evening.
Salam
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Darth Vader Happiness is a good and bad thing.
There is no way 1 can be happy always.
Buddha, before he gain enlighthenment, he was not happy. He was a prince who was not happy that he lived a luxurious life and his subjects suffers.
Are you happy when the government takes a long time to refund the overpaid tax? If we are happy with this, then we will say, aiya, never mind lah. But if we are not happy, we then will make sure we write , call, visit IRB to get our money back.
From the above examples, i believe that it is not necessary that we have to be happy all the time.
Always take the middle path.
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Unknown Dear Darth Vader
Thanks for your realistic and pragmatic comment :-). It is always good to practise moderation and to take the middle path. Take care and thanks for sharing...
Have a great weekend!
Cheers
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Johan H To me, a happy person is a content person - content with our imperfect body, our lack of money, our less-than-ideal surroundings, our flaws. The common word "our" tells us that happiness is but our own perception of ourselves. I have a bit of grey hair, a flaw in most people's books but a couple of years ago I decided to be content with it and not bother dyeing it like I used to. I just woke up one day & decided that if people were going to treat me based on the colour of my hair, it wouldn't be a bond that's worth keeping for long anyway. So I put it down. One less baggage to carry.
By the time I went through my list of "defects" and separated the fluff, I realized how much I could throw out and still be happy. So when I left Sg I gave away stuff that fit into a 2-ton lorry, literally. It left me with nothing but a bag of clothes, my notebook and some momentos. It was clear to me as to how much of our lives are built trying to impress others, sometimes damaging us in the process, sometimes irreparably. Happiness is having few needs. That is a euphemism about contentment, and one I am trying my best to live up to.
Oh, and I am much happier today than when I was a 'successful' corporate warrior in Singapore years ago where I had to make many friends and shareholders happy before I could be happy.
Thanks for this wonderful post. Really enjoyed it. :-)
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Anonymous Eleave we came into this world and we died, we will leave empty handed too.
What makes us happy ? This is a million dollar question ? Some people think that they will be happy when they have a million dollar in their bank account. Others think that as long as they have basic daily food on their table, it will be happiness all the way.
As for me, I'd learned that material wealth can only bring me to certain degree of physical satisfaction. We need more than that in actual life. We must have a clear balance as we need to be contented with both physical and spiritual life.
Not knowing where we are going after death is a very frightening thing for the living. As that issue is for eternity if we make a wrong choice. This life that we live is only temporal what we make of it counts for eternity too.
The happiest people DO NOT necessariyl have the BEST of everythin; they simply APPRECIATE the things they have. Let us therefore choose a simpler and smarter way to live........ Let focus not on things that we do not have but be contented with all that we already have.
For life is not measured by the number of years we live on earth but rather it is measured by the lives we touch. It is also said that the years lived on earth don't matter much but those lives that we helped to transform will be indelible for that generation.
It is how little we need that will determine how many baggages we are being tied to.
~ahoo~
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Anonymous The champ is Spain , picked by Paul,
the octopus !!
3rd place is Germany ...by me ,iwc !
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Unknown Dear Johan
My deepest appreciation to you for your warm, encouraging and sincere response to my post. My apologies for this late response as I was tied up with a chore.
Your response is very meaningful to me because I am coming to terms with the ageing process - hair loss, weight gain and forgetfulness etc. Yet, despite all these inadequacies I have to say that I am the happiest now :-) because like you, I have come to realize that happiness is within ourselves.
I gave up a good career years ago to be a full-time mother. And I gave away lots too like you and am very happy with enough to survive.
When we strip away material possessions and reach the heart of our soul, that is when we truly begin to live...and I know that is exactly what you are doing now.
Take care and thanks so much for sharing so openly, honestly and meaningfully.
God bless your kind heart and warm spirit.
Shalom
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Unknown Dear Anon @ 1.36pm
Very true...And this time Paul will not be able to influence as much except for the game for 3rd and 4th place.
Take care and enjoy the last 2 games!
Cheers
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Unknown Dear ahoo @ 5.53pm
Paul said "I have learnt in whatever state I am to be contented." I guess therein lies the secret to happiness - the knowledge that no matter where we are, whatever state that we are in, nothing can separate us from the love of God.
You are right that the thought of life after death can be frightening...That is why we should seize the day and enjoy the moments that we have, cherish the times with our loved ones and maximize our potential for tomorrow might never come.
Phil 4:7. 8 are two of my favorite verses...May they bless you and yours too...In everything give thanks...
Take care and thanks so much for sharing your wisdom, understanding and experience, ahoo.
Thank you for blessing us...
May you be blessed over and over again.
Shalom
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Unknown Dear iwc
I also believe that Germany will get third place!
Cheers
johnnie lim Hi Paula, I love this write up. It really makes sense. I know what makes me happy, being with my family especially my daughter , and friends. I think Happiness is an attitude. It is a choice, whether you choose to be happy or not to.
thanks for sharing . Have a good day.