*STRICTLY FOR HUMOR WITH NO INTENTION TO OFFEND OR INSULT ANYONE*
1. CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
2. CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
3. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a
financial genius.
4. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance the wife gets no
jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
5. VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
6. P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps
crashing.
7. BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
8. STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
9. STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
10. STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between
themselves.
11. FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
12. MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
13. CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
14. YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
15. WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per
share.
16. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Last year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
17. PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
Source: THIS LINK
Anonymous In ahoo's lingo though :
1. CEO -- Chief Embrassing Officer aka MACC.
2. CFO -- Chairman of Foreign Office aka cigar chumping vip.
3. BULL MARKET -- A bull found in the China shop.
4. BEAR MARKET -- A 9 month period after babies production while
waiting for buyer. It was claimed having foreigners to mass
produced such babies. Only found in lalaland.
5. VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying at face value and keeping
it as antique.
6. P/E RATIO -- The percentage of earning ratio of the remisier.
7. BROKER -- A job that pays whether you buy or sell.
8. STANDARD & POOR -- A standard of measurement for the poor.
9. STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just can't keep your stocks in your
store in order.
10. STOCK SPLIT -- When your children are fighting over your
assets even before you breath your last.
11. FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy who sells you policies that you
can't benefit and plan for those that
you are leaving behind.
12. MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after your remisier ask you to
dump your stocks.
13. CASH FLOW -- The way your family spend your money as if money
grows on tree.
14. YAHOO -- That was my former acronym.
15. WINDOWS -- That was how you make Mr Gates to be a tycoon.
16. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Make belief professional that
squander off faster than their govt can print.
17. PROFIT -- A word clearly shown on paper just to con you.
18. CRISIS -- To buy low when all are dumping it cheap and you
will be in cloud nine when the Sun shines again.