Once upon a time, long long ago, in a land-not-so-far-away, a fat, independent, self-assured and overbearing lady met up with her own talking frog as she was contemplating how she could get rid of her ugly husband while making ripples in the water with the stones that she threw into the pond.
This bold new, ugly and pock-marked amphibian cleared his throat, stretched his flabby neck and spoke up from the water's edge, "Hey, baby! Look down here! Yeah,come on babe. It's me - the love of your life!"
The obese lady peered down in surprise at the little green froggy talking to her so familiarly and almost choked when she saw how ugly he was. "Do I know you, you green and ugly looking amphibian who should have been born as a toad instead of a frog?"
"You probably do, baby. Yeah. See, I was once a famous leader. I wrote a lot of speeches and made a lot of money and had famous friends and a celebrity career. Hollywood was pretty much knocking on my door and the whole success thing happening pretty well, you know? But then I wrote and gave a speech that pissed off ONE MAN, you know, the Powers-That-Be... The Masters of You-Know-What? Anyway, they got a lot of their blood money together, man and hired some wizard to turn me into a frog. Now I sit in this little puddle eating bugs in some polluted pond in a God-forsaken land."
The lady who used to be reasonably good looking until she started visiting witches and wizards to make her more beautiful, cocked an eyebrow and said softly, "Really? That's quite a tale of woe."
The frog nodded his big head in agreement: "Oh yeah, tell me about it... But here's the best part... I swear, if I was to get just one little kiss from a beautiful fat babe like yourself, I'd turn back into my own form and be the speech-writing genius I was before. Leaders have called me a national treasure."
The young lady cocked her other eyebrow: "Really? That's simply wonderful."
"Yeah," smiled the folky froggy. "Just lay a little sugar on me and I'll be myself again. Then I'll write you a love poem that's sure to be another big hit for me and we can split the profits. Hell, we can do a book called Green on Fats and I can make you rich, baby ! What say you, my love?"
The young woman knelt down and laid her hand open on the ground. The pock-marked fat and ugly wannabe froggy hopped into it happily and puckered up as she raised him to her beautiful cosmetic-surgery reconstructed face.
"Sorry," winked the woman. "It ain't me, babe."
And she started to tuck the complaining frog into the front pouch of her ancient witch's bag.
"Hey, what's the matter with you? Don't do me like that! I said I could make you rich! I'm a famous leader, speaker, whatever. You can buy me for a price. I can do anything - it only takes money, baby!!!" squeaked the frog.
"Yeah, whatever," shrugged the woman as she zipped the pouch shut. "But how much you want to bet that a talking frog's worth more than a famous speechwriter?"
"Aw come on!..." came the frog's muffled voice.
And so, the frog lived miserably all because he thought he could do something - all for money....and the rest of his life was like that of a puppet-on-a-string. He lost his soul, his conscience, his voice, his whole being - he was nothing but a shell of a frog. By Jove, even toads were better off than him!
What is the cause of his misery? His love for money? His unscrupulous nature? The environment? Do leave a comment to share your views, dear reader. I would love to hear from you. You are welcome to add to this tale or expand the conclusion. Thanks! Have a lovely evening.
Please note: The frogs and the lady in this story is a metaphorical construct. No actual frogs were harmed or consumed in the writing of the story. Any resemblance to any living creature big or small, dead or alive or yet to be born is a pure coincidence. :-) This is a work of humour, satire and parody. That means the statements and information contained in these pages are by no means fact, and are offered solely as comedy material or as individual opinion.
A few months ago, I would happily enjoy my morning coffee in front of my laptop and devour the news from eight different web sites. Of late, I have been on a strict 'diet' as reading the news can be quite a challenging experience. It was no better today. Sighs. Obviously, the currents of political change are very strong and the boat is certainly rocking in tempo with the pressures both seen and unseen.
I see worrying signs in many news reports and urge Malaysians to put on their thinking hats to work out new ways of combating threats to our country's unity which is continuously facing new challenges each day.
Malaysian Insider reported today that Political risk fears stalk new economic model. The article reported that Malaysia’s proposed New Economic Model (NEM) to be made public end March impressed the Cabinet but certain sources say “concerns of political implications” remain.
Excerpt from the report:
The NEM key points are removals of costly subsidies and ways to improve national competitiveness through further liberalisation measures which Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak believes is crucial for Malaysia’s economic future.
It is understood that eliminating policies that still adhere to the spirit of the New Economic Policy (NEP) — even though the NEP no longer exists and was replaced by the National Development Policy in 1990 — has been received with “trepidation by the Cabinet.”
This part of the report was quite disturbing:
Perkasa, the newly-formed Malay rights group headed by Pasir Mas MP Datuk Ibrahim Ali met Tan Sri Amirsham last week to give their two sen’s worth.
“Our meeting with him was not a briefing session on the progress of the New Economic Model but merely a meeting to hand over our memorandum.
“We stressed that the government needs to take an affirmative action approach to help Malays and Bumiputras, and also other needy groups among other races like Indians and Chinese when they came out with this New Economic Model,” said the independent MP.
Ibrahim said Amirsham gave an outlook on the current economic status of the country and employment statistics.
Perkasa will organise a round-table discussion this Sunday to voice out their views on the NEM. The 76 members of Majlis Perundingan Melayu, which was launched last Saturday to protect Malay rights and Islam, will also be at this meeting.
What is ALSO worrying is another report in Malaysiakini that Perkasa gets green light to launch own publication. It is amazing how the Home Ministry is lenient with such an organization which seems to be an alternative UMNO. On one hand, our PM is trying to liberalize the economy to improve national competitiveness; on the other hand, here is an organization which does not seem to be supporting such measures and can continue to voice their discontent in very definite ways.
Their narrow mindset is very worrying because the focus is still Malay/Bumiputra in that they advocate race-driven economic policies and practices with little awareness of its repercussions on the nation's overall economic fundamental. Did they stop to think that this could be one of the reasons why there has deterred investors and caused an outflow of resources as well? Did they not stop to think that such a perspective could sabotage the country's attempt to be a developed nation and a global player in many areas? We are fast losing out to our neighbours and yet, here comes one that insists on Paleolithic practices - in full opposition to what the PM is trying to do for the country. Should they not support BN and UMNO and can they be regarded as an opposition movement in the shadow of PR?
In an interview with Malaysiakini, Ibrahim also revealed that Perkasa now has upwards of 5,000 fully registered members while another 50,000 new applications are being processed, with more joining the NGO at a rate of 200 a day. This is certainly worrying news if the statistics are reliable. He clarified that Perkasa might even print on a daily basis instead of just fortnightly, hinting perhaps at a bigger audience and role for Suara Perkasa.
Such trends are certainly rocking the boat when political storms are raging in our country.
Who is behind PERKASA? Why are they being allowed to do what they are doing? Why is the road an easy one for them to travel?
Is it so difficult for them to embrace diversity?So many questions that are unanswered and even more unspoken. Why are they rocking the boat at this time? Perhaps KC and the Sunshine Band say it best when they sang That's the Way I like it.
While you are deep in thought, enjoy one of my old favorites from the 1970's - Hues Corporation and their version of ROCK THE BOAT. It was actually this song that gave me the inspiration for this post :-). Incidentally, I got the inspiration for my THE HOPPING FROGS AND THE PRINCESS while mopping the floor yesterday morning :-).
Do leave a comment if you wish to share your thoughts or views. Thanks! Have a great day!
Women are inquisitive by nature and love to ask their mates many questions, of which the following five are the most feared. Please read the following post as slowly as possible to ensure that you obtain the appropriate response. Do leave a comment if you wish to sharet your views. Thanks! Have a great day!
The 5 questions most feared by men are:
1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analysed below, along with possible responses.
Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is:
"I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
1. Rugby.
2. Football.
3. How fat you are.
4. How much prettier she is than you.
5. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."
Inappropriate responses include:
1. Oh Yeah, shit-loads.
2. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
3. That depends on what you mean by love.
4. Does it matter?
5. Who, me?
Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
Among the incorrect answers are:
1. Compared to what?
2. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
3. A little extra weight looks good on you.
4. I've seen fatter.
5. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
Incorrect responses include:
1. Yes, but you have a better personality
2. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
3. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
4. Define pretty ?
5. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Corvette and a Boat").
