The Sunday School lesson for the first graders was on the plan of salvation. The teacher asked, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?"
"No!" all the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"
Again, the answer was, "No!"
"Well," she continued, "then how can I get to heaven?"
One boy confidently answered, "You've gotta be dead!"
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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was? The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shalt not kill."
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An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."
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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of
my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
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A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.
"How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
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In honor of graduation time, this is a funny quiz consisting of 4 questions that tells whether you are qualified to be a "professional." Try it, you'll like it!
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"SMARTNESS QUIZ"
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is:
Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.
This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Wrong Answer:
Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.
Correct Answer:
Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the
elephant and close the door.
This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all of the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer:
The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.
This tests your memory.
Okay... even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your ability.
4. There is a river that you must cross. But, it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer:
You swim across. All of the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting!
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong.
But, many preschoolers they tested got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.
-Author Unknown-
Have a nice day, everyone!
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