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Andrew Aitken "Andy" Rooney (born January 14, 1919) is an American radio and television writer. He is most notable for his weekly broadcast "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney", a part of the CBS News program 60 Minutes since 1978. Starting in the 2011-2012 season, he's no longer on each week, but only about once a month. CLICK HERE for more.

The following is a list Andy Rooney's statements that T.O. sent me recently. Do leave a comment to share your responses. Thanks and have a lovely evening.

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking.

If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you.
And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?"
It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us.
Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated.

A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind.
Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror.
Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it.

We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing.
We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.

There are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?

We should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own.
We should not have attacked Iraq without the okay of the United Nations.
Now we have to live with that mistake. We're living with it, and too many of our guys are dying with it.

We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
Andy Rooney

We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away.

You could drive that in a week, but for some reason nobody's ever done it.