Funny One-Liners

Posted by M ws On Sunday, July 17, 2011 2 comments

Q: What is the different between a girl and a cellphone...
A: You can put a cell phone on silent.

Q: What does a clock do when it's hungry?
A: Goes back 4 seconds!!!

Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS....

Did you hear the story about the giraffe?
Forget it - it's too long.

Q: Waiter how long will the chips be?
A: About five centimeters each, I expect sir.

Q: What do you do when you throw a clock up in the air
A: Times up!

Q: What did the dog say when he sat on the sand paper?
A: Ruff.

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs??
A: Ground beef.

Q: What do you call a monkey on a mine field ?
A: a baboon

Q: What do you get if you cross a bee with a skunk?
A: An animal that stinks and stings!

Q : What is the difference between women and magnets ?
A : Magnets have also positive side.

Q:What did one eye say to the other eye?
A:Between you and me something smells.

Q. What's the difference between an aerobics instructor and a dentist?
A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

Q: Whats long, hard, and full of seamen?
A: A submarine.

Q. An ethical lawyer, an honest politician, and a merciful aerobics instructor all fall out of an airplane. Which one hits the ground first?
A. It doesn't matter - none of them exist.

2 comments to Funny One-Liners

  1. says:

    nick Sis,

    What's long, hard and full of seamen and goes "are we in yet?" A Malaysian Submarine.

    What do you get if you cross a frog and a politician? It's not an animal and it's NOT a human but it still manages to piss you off!

    What do you call an idiot with a ring? No matter what you call her, she won't understand!

    What do you call a PM's wife with a RM24million ring? Prime Minister.

    What do you call a PM whose wife has a RM24million ring? Prime Minister too but not in front of his wife!

    What do you get if you cross a MB with a dentist? Don't, it's a stupid idea.

    What's the difference between TNB and IPP? One always listens to the govt and the other, the govt is the one doing the listening.


    have a great weekend Sis and GOD Bless!

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear Nick

    I truly enjoyed your witty and hilarious input, dear friend. My deepest apologies for this late response. I am older now and terribly forgetful! Take care and have a great day!


Related Posts with Thumbnails