A Most Unusual Ad

Posted by M ws On Saturday, July 23, 2011 4 comments
This evening, TO sent me an advertisement from eBay in UK which had a most interesting description for a watch.

Here goes:

If you want to look like an offensively rich footballer at fraction of the cost take a look at this bad boy. This rather delicious watch for the sportier men among you was given to me by my idiot of an ex girlfriend, who by the way ended up in bed last Thursday with Steve. Steve, for your information, is not me.

The watch has a trustworthy and comforting rubber strap, in white, which is more than you can say for my girlfriend who can't be trusted for five seconds and is about as comforting as having a lung removed. The face is clear and consistent white with simple minimalist design however my girlfriends face is covered in freckles, fake tan and has an unsightly mole just under her right eye.

This item is presented in a red gift box and is powered by a Storm battery but I no longer have the box or the instructions, still could be worse, my girlfriend unfortunately no longer has anywhere to live.

Unfortunately I have only worn this watch twice since she purchased it for me - Oh how extravagant of her -"Oh what gift can I buy my boyfriend, I know. I'll go to Covent Garden to the Storm shop and buy him a watch but come home with 12 pairs of shoes for myself and a 3 Grand Breitling for Steve" By the way she also has big feet. Size 9. On a woman, yes that's what I said she should be in the circus. "Roll up Roll up for the incredible big footed lady with a hairy eye wart"

I was going to ask Steve if after eating my girlfriend's body in front of me, he might want to purchase the watch. I also then offered him my girlfriends thrush pessaries from the bathroom cabinet. He declined both politely and drove off in his Grey 2002 plate Ford Focus - LX. Grey like his personality, complexion and most of his hair.

So as Mr Grey and Sasquatch Mole Eye wander off happily holding hands, I will be withholding all the items remotely connected to our relationship in escrow and sending them romantically on their way to eBay.

PS - As Steve is actually my boss and I punched him hard in the face and subsequently do not have a job, the revenue from the sale of these items will go toward feeding myself and my poor cat Judy, who sadly lost her tail and one of her legs in a lathe accident.

*Thanks to TO for sharing this. Have a restful evening everyone!

4 comments to A Most Unusual Ad

  1. says:

    nick Sis,

    It's a great read but at the end, it's a fail! With all the caustic yet witty diatribe the person (who is not Steve) poured onto his girlfriend, alas he ended up telling us that he actually DID punch his ex-boss for stealing his "ugly, big footed and homeless" girlfriend (which meant he fought for for girlfriend and having lost became a sore loser). It looks like his girlfriend has the last laugh and the writer( who is not Steve) was left jobless with an "alert but unresponsive" pussy.


    have a great Sunday and GOD bless us all.

  1. says:

    Little Corgi Hi Nick,
    An "alert but unresponsive pussy" is actually a good thing and it suggests of a hot but inexperienced virgin, unlike an "alert but unresponsive doggy" which is a hungry but spent old fart!!!!

    Sorry Auntie Paula. Had to drop in like this cos this one is too hot to pass!!!!!!!!!!Never had so much fun for sometime now.

    p.s. I hope I didn't offend anyone and if I did I'm sorry.

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear Nick

    Haha!! What a great comment from your sharp mind! All in all, I think it was a fancy and creative piece written in such a way to attract buyers for his watch.

    Thanks for sharing. Take care and have a great week ahead.


  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear Little Corgi

    Ruff ruff!!

    Splendid response, my dear canine friend! Long time no hear! I have missed your wonderful comments. Take care and hope to hear more from you again.

    Take care and have a wonderful week ahead.


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