masterwordsmith-unplugged

Arriving in a hotel in KL Sentral, Toni Harus Sunny goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness. The barman nods and says, "That will be one Ringgit, please, Uncle Toni."

Somewhat taken aback by the recognition, Toni replies, "That's very cheap," and hands over the exact change.

"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", says the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 6.15. We have the cheapest draught in Asia."

"That is remarkable value," Tony comments.

The barman than observes, "I see you don't have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours. That will be 3 Ringgit, please."

Toni scowls, but pays up. He takes his drink and walks towards a seat.

"Ah, you want to sit down?" asks the barman. "That'll be 2 Ringgit for the seat. You could have pre-booked the seat, and it would have cost you a Ringgit only."

The barman then adds, "I think you may to be too big for the seat, sir. Can I ask you to sit in this frame please?"

Toni attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in, he complains, "Nobody would fit in that little frame".

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame, you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of RM 4 for your seat, sir."

Toni swears to himself, but pays up.

"Uncle, I see that you have brought your laptop with you," adds the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 Ringgit."

By this time, Toni is so annoyed that he walks back to the bar, slams his drink on the counter, and yells, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager."

"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 Ringgit please, Uncle."

Toni's face is red with rage. "Do you know who I am?" he asks the barman.

"Of course I do, Uncle. You are the one who wants everybody to fly because you learnt to fly a kite before you could learn to crawl."

"I've had enough, What sort of hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his e-mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.15 every morning on Monday at this toll-free number. Calls are free, until they are answered. Then there is a talking charge of only 10 sen per second provided you use Toon Talk. Using other mobile carriers would incur our normal charges of 30 sen per second."

"I will never use this bar again."

"That's OK Uncle, but remember, we are the only bar in Asia selling pints for one Ringgit. So now everyone - including you and anyone from the Silver State - can drink. "


Coming soon......

Part 2: Toni has to wee-wee at the pub's toilet
Part 3: Toni wants tidbits to go with his pinta
Part 4: Toni wants to pay his bill by credit card

Thanks to Kassim S.A. who sent this to me. I am presuming that he is the one who wrote this delightful piece. Looking forward to more of his classy wit and humor!