As regular readers know, I am past the half a century mark. At this point of time, I dare say I have never been happier in my life than where I am today due to the process of mellowing as years go by.
The past ten years have been the most eventful in my life and have largely shaped me emotionally to be more resilient, stronger and more at peace. :-)
Yet, I do confess that I have never ever been confronted with the whole aspect of death, especially since I have lost so many friends and relatives in the last few years.
Consequently, I often wonder a lot about what life is all about and have blogged about it in "Alfie" and Me.
Who has not been hurt and disappointed by people in their lives? Unlike in the past when I used to take it to heart, I tell myself to let it go and to move on in my life. I certainly do not want to carry such toxic feelings into my sunset years and risk getting sick because of negative vibes. Whereas in the past I would take offense and/or get hurt in the past, I don't bat an eyelid now when someone unfriends me in Facebook or does not respond to my email/sms or if I am not invited to an outing or just does not keep in touch! It is not worth it when we sweat over small stuff. Life is more precious!
The past two months have been spent in deep reflection. I have tried my best to realign my life and for the first time in my life, I wrote a very detailed new year resolution to give me direction. And it has been worthwhile because I have been quite on track. In the process, I learnt to treasure ties that matter and moments that count.
My son even told me yesterday, "Gee mom, you have become a real housewife at long last!" :-) Of late, I have been cooking, baking and cleaning like there is no tomorrow and to a certain extent, my weight loss project has been stymied by all my culinary adventures such as my cinammon buns with walnuts and raisins and grilled salmon with Provencale herbs.
And then there were those times when I walked and walked with friends to appreciate the facade of heritage buildings in Penang...and I ask myself - How did those years pass so quickly?
There comes a time when each of us has to pause and take stock of what we have been doing and to assess what is important in our lives.
Yesterday, a girlfriend of mine called me up to chit chat. I have known her since 1993...almost twenty years. With much pain in her voice, she shared most regretfully about how she had been travelling overseas the greater part of last year to notice that her dad was not well. Tragically, he passed away before the Chinese New Year and her mom was in ICU this week. I felt for her deeply and eyes brimming with tears, I comforted her and told her that I was in a similar position years ago - too busy for my family. She resolved never to let that happen again and to make sure her kids are around in Penang. I feel the same way.
Contrary to what some people think, I live a very simple life and am very contented with what I have (except for my weight :-) and body fat!!!) because I have learnt that it is not worth it to sacrifice our family, physical/mental/emotional health for $$$. If I earn less, it means I save less, spend less. It is all about adjustments and being contented.
If we do not find contentment in our lives or what we do, nothing is enough. After buying a Honda, next would be a Merce etc etc. I drive a small Perodua car btw, so does my son.
I have another friend who spends a lot of her time working and working and working. Sadly, she does not have time to spend her $$$ and has some medical problems now.
One of my former students gave up a high profile job in Dubai - threw in the towel and returned to Malaysia to be with his ageing mother. I really respect this young man who has also gone through a lot in his life. In fact, he was incorrigibly cheeky when I was teaching him years ago but he has truly come a loooong way and I am so proud of him!
No matter what, we must always treasure, cherish and love our family and loved ones, even ourselves lest we spend the rest of our days in regret! The best things in the world have to be felt with the heart!!!
Reading inspirational poems/quotes/books is a worthwhile and most enriching experience. I will not ramble on but just want to share a few inspirational videos which I have found to be most meaningful.
The next one is my favourite:
I don't worry about tomorrow or my future like I used to but I just live from day to day. And I live as though today is my last so that if indeed I don't wake up tomorrow, I can go peacefully knowing I lived life to the fullest and always told my loved ones how much I love them everyday!
This hymn (for non-Muslims only) is one of my favourites: I KNOW WHO HOLDS TOMORROW.
Take care, dear reader!
Carpe diem!
Do leave a comment to share your thoughts and responses. Thanks! Have a lovely evening!!
KS Cheah Hi MWS, it must be that half century mark that gets us...to be more reflective and all. A friend shared this rather morbid thought; he said after 50, we subconsciously begin to mentally prepare for our impending death. Before that we think as if we are immortal. He told be that when I was 30 which was more than 20 years ago. :o)