masterwordsmith-unplugged

“And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I’m sorry it’s the case, and I’ll work hard to try to elevate it.” –George W. Bush, interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007

“I think that the vice president is a person reflecting a half-glass-full mentality.” –George W. Bush, interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007

“And one thing we want during this war on terror is for people to feel like their life’s moving on, that they’re able to make a living and send their kids to college and put more money on the table.” –George W. Bush, interview on the NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, Jan. 16, 2007

“The best way to defeat the totalitarian of hate is with an ideology of hope — an ideology of hate — excuse me –with an ideology of hope.” –George W. Bush, Fort Benning, Ga., Jan. 11, 2007

“Make no mistake about it, I understand how tough it is, sir. I talk to families who die.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 7, 2006

“The only way we can win is to leave before the job is done.” –George W. Bush, Greeley, Colo., Nov. 4, 2006

“Anybody who is in a position to serve this country ought to understand the consequences of words.” –George W. Bush, interview with Rush Limbaugh, Nov. 1, 2006

“You know, when I campaigned here in 2000, I said, I want to be a war President. No President wants to be a war President, but I am one.” –George W. Bush, Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 26, 2006 Maria Bartiromo:

“I’m curious, have you ever googled anybody? Do you use Google?” President Bush: “Occasionally. One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see — I’ve forgot the name of the program — but you get the satellite, and you can — like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It remind me of where I wanna be sometimes.” –interview with CNBC’s Maria Bartiromo, Oct. 24, 2006

“You’re one of the outstanding leaders in a very important part of the world. I want to thank you for strategizing our discussions.” –George W. Bush, meeting with the prime minister of Malaysia, New York, N.Y., Sept. 18, 2006

“The Patriot Act has increased the flow of information within our government and it has helped break up terrorist cells in the United States of America. And the United States Congress was right to renew the terrorist act — the Patriot Act.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. , Sept. 7, 2006

“You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.” –George W. Bush, interview with CBS News’ Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006

“I said I was looking for a book to read, Laura said you ought to try Camus. I also read three Shakespeares. … I’ve got a eck-a-lec-tic reading list.” –George W. Bush, interview with NBC’s Brian Williams, New Orleans, La., Aug. 29, 2006

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The Great Wizard of Oz

The last four ex-U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they whirled to OZ. They finally make it to the Emerald City and came before the Great Wizard.

"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?"

Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly:" I've come for some courage."

"NO PROBLEM!" says the Wizard. "WHO IS NEXT?"

Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well........., I.......I think I need a brain."

"DONE" says the Wizard. "WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?"

Up stepped George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."

"I'VE HEARD IT'S TRUE!" says the Wizard. "CONSIDER IT DONE."

There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"Is Dorothy here?"
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Clinton on the Titanic

Reagan, Nixon and Clinton are on the Titanic.

The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly.

Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc.

Reagan shouts: "Women and children first."

Nixon goes: "F*** the women."

Clinton replies: "Do you think we have time?"

-Author Unknown-

Posted for laughs.