masterwordsmith-unplugged

President Clinton, speaking in private with his advisor on public favor, told him that the planned invasion of Haiti will be the most unpopular thing that he has ever done as the President of the United States.

"Actually, sir, according to our research, the most unpopular thing you've ever done was to be inaugurated as President. It's just been downhill from there."

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Writing a new policy that will change America

Bill Clinton has just had a major new policy decision that he thinks is going to "save" America. He decides to talk it over with Senator Dole.

Dole says, "Well Bill, the Republicans aren't to sure about this. Why do you go back to the White House and write a 20,000 word essay on your ideas, aims, etc. If you give it to me by 8 A.M. tomorrow, we'll think about it."

So, Bill goes back and does probably that hardest night's work ever. He really puts his heart and soul into the paper and proudly hands it over to Bob the next morning.

Bill was told to come back the next day when the republicans would pass judgement. The next day, Bill again trudges in and Bob says, "Well Mr President, we were impressed with the paper, but there were a couple of spelling mistakes. Here's the deal. I'm giving you a pair of dice, and if you role 1 to 11, we won't pass it."

"But what if I get a 12?" Bill asks. And Bob replies, "You get to roll again".

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President Clinton meets some voters

President Clinton is shaking hands with the voters after being elected for the second time.

"Pleased to meet you," says one old man, "I've heard a lot about you in the past few years."

Clinton laughs: "You can't prove any of it!"

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The new McClinton burger

Did you hear that in response to President Bill Clinton's habit of dropping in on the local McDonalds, the McDonald's national management has announced a commemorative double cheeseburger, the McClinton?

Of course, when you get it, the price has doubled, you never get the fries you were originally promised, and it's got half the meat.

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The development of a new stamp

The Post Office briefly considered issuing stamps with Bill and Hillary's faces on them. However, test marketing verified that the customers would spit on the wrong side of the stamps.

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What day is that day?

My four year old and I were discussing holidays, and I asked him, "What is the day which comes after Halloween when you have turkey?"

My husband quickly answered, "Election day."



The American myth is that every boy can grow up to be President.

The Bush reality now is that the boy doesn't have to grow up?!