Funny One-Liners

Posted by M ws On Saturday, May 5, 2012 1 comments
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro is a rip-off.

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

-Author Unknown-

*Thanks to Angela who sent me this post.

1 comments to Funny One-Liners

  1. says:

    cin2tan # Coca-cola manager lost his job becos he lunched at KFC where they gave FREE pepsi-cola !!

    # I always feel free at flee market & biniku is takut of flea !!

    # We are termed as Masters of pets like dogs & cats but NOT fish which call us 'Owners' !!

    # Men prefer mistress to 'miss stress' ma !

    # Coffee is best prepared by males becos Hebrews ma !

    # Air in BI is different from Air in BM !

    # Both BI & BM pun ada 'pun ' !?

    # David Copperfield sounds ok but NOT Peter Grave lah ...yet the worst is Jackass !

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