masterwordsmith-unplugged

Here's a selection of jokes for golfers and those who love a little bit of humor in their lives. I am posting these for laughs with no intention to offend anyone. Have a restful evening!

Golf Balls

A young man, who worked at a driving range, picked up a couple of dozen old balls one day and took them home with him, stuffing them into his pants pockets.

On the bus on his way home, an elderly old lady sat down next to him, so he had to scrunch them up to make room for her. He noticed after a while the lady was glancing sideways toward his pockets.

A bit embarrassed, he said to the lady, "It`s all right ma`am, they`re just golf balls."

She nodded and smiled sympathetically and a few moments later said, "Tell me - is that something like tennis elbow?"

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What Would You Do To Play a Better Round of Golf?

Near the end of a particularly trying round of golf, during which the golfer had hit numerous fat shots, he said in frustration to his caddy, "I'd move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course."

"Try heaven," said the caddy. "You've already moved most of the Earth."

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Teaching the Wife to Golf


"Where am I? How did I get here? Why does my head hurt?"

"You're in a hospital, sir. I'm with the police. We weren't sure you were going to wake up. You had a golf club wrapped around your neck. Just tell us everything you remember."

"Well, I was teaching my wife golf and of course, I won every hole. But on the little par 3, 17th hole, we both hit right to the green, and we both putted right to the pin. When I walked to the flag, I saw one putt had overshot, but the other ball had apparently sunk. I didn't know whose it was, so I pulled the flag, looked in, saw it was her Spaulding in there, and I said, 'Looks like your hole, dear.'"

"That was the last thing I remember."

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The Toughest Shot

A golfer stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity. Looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts. Finally his
exasperated partner says, "What'staking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man, you'll never hit her from here!"

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Ten Sentences Which Are Taboo in Golg :-)

Look at the size of his putter


2. Oh shit my shafts all bent


3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker


4. After 18 holes I can barely walk


5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip


6. Lift your head and spread your legs


7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired


8. Just turn your back and drop it


9. Hold up.. I've got to wash my balls


10. Damn, I missed the hole again

-Author Unknown-

*Posted strictly for laughs with no intention to offend anyone.