masterwordsmith-unplugged

Thanks to readers Shadower, Cin2Tan and Pastor David TC Loo, I have been engrossed in listening to oldies and recording impromptu jam sessions this morning and yesterday evening. Music is in my heart, soul and spirit and I am so glad my boys have been blessed with this gift.

The past few weeks have surely been the most enlightening ones in my entire life. And with all the drama and suspense, I lost a lot of weight despite eating a lot. At this point of my life, I can finally say I have been enlightened and my perspectives in life realigned. To all who wrote to me, I have yet to reply and I am so sorry for my tardiness. It is not that you are not important but it is because I have been doing a lot of soul searching and rested in solitude after doing tons of spring-cleaning.

I find house-work, especially spring-cleaning, to be a very therapeutic process.

To put it simply, when spring-cleaning, one may suddenly realize that something kept for decades actually has no value and one may wonder - why the heck did I keep it? It could be for a few insignificant reasons which were probably significant at the point of decision-making.

You cannot imagine the amount of rubbish I have been clearing out from cabinets and drawers in my house.

I am a hoarder. I even have paper bags from the 1960's. I discovered that I can actually have a garage sale of:

• vintage paper bags from the 1960's especially those brown paper bags with white and red rope handles
• vintage plastic bags from the 1970's of shops which do not exist any more, emporiums that only your grandmother might know of (Does Oriental Emporium ring a bell?)
• cassettes of artistes from the 1960's to 1990's
• clothes that date to the 1960's as well including my wedding night evening gown (29 years ago) which I can still wear!!!! PHEW!
• my wedding shoes
• my older son's baby clothes, diapers and the first towel he used
• my vintage 1970's original red tab Levi's jeans which is probably worth 500USD now (based on checks I made in various vintage sites)
• old magazines, post-cards, stamps, badges
• three boxes of scarves and pashmina shawls, some of the former date back to 1950's!!!
• my childhood collection of comics eg June and School Friends, Beano Annuals, Dandy etc
• my boys' collection of toys, half of which I gave to a friend's son who was spellbound by the collection
• my badge, matchbox, key chain, vcd and dvd collections

I can also hold a sale for handbags that date from 1970's to the present. In total, I have more than 100 handbags stored in various places till I had forgotten about them. The best part about spring-cleaning is finding $$$ in wallets or handbags. My 'harvest' came up to 120RM which I found in various handbags and wallets.

Amazingly, I still have those accessories I used in primary school, my first teddy bear, my toy train, old books especially those I treasured as a young girl.


Life is like that. We waltz through it like a breeze without stopping to check and to take stock of life, ourselves, values etc. Somehow, all of us need to do housekeeping - of our stuff, our emails and even affiliations/people in our lives. And then we begin to realize that something or someone we deemed as important or real or sincere may not be so. Never expect gratitude for whatever you do. Most of the time, once people deem us as 'not useful any more', we are struck off their roll. Whilst it is good to be honest and transparent, it does not mean that people with whom we trust and relate to reciprocate in the same vein of thought. One may never know their true intentions or sincerity until much too late, in some circumstances. And it is fine if we lose touch with such people for at the end of the day, it is real people, sincere friends and those with a heart ready to care, to love and to help that matter.

It is so easy to be blinded overwhelmed by circumstances, idealism or even be caught up with activities until one may not know what IS life all about.

Double standards reign be it in society or even in inter-personal relationships. For those who are too tolerant, one ends up being a door-mat. A brainless slave helping others. Malicious ones may not accord them respect or dignity let alone honesty.

I look back without regret for all the pain, frustration and disappointment I went through. Not a single tear at all as I realigned my life, priorities, relationships. In fact, I am so thankful for all that has happened. Resilience, independence and level headedness are more important than acceptance or validation from people. It is what INSIDE and within us that matter. Not who are around us. Not who we believe in or help or relate to in life.

In my entire life, I have never been as happy and as contented as I am now. And I believe I have finally found myself.

And - that is such a wonderful feeling.

To those of you who have reached out to me sincerely with patience love and acceptance for who I am, thank you.  I will respond to your emails soon.

My son is home and it is going to be a beautiful homecoming.  Sorry for this late post. I was out the whole afternoon with a former student who works in Seattle. Take care and have a beautiful evening.