A Full Circle

Posted by M ws On Thursday, June 21, 2012 3 comments
I figure the most difficult stage in life is ageing, not the angst-filled teenage years. At this point of time, I see how I am so much like my dad and how my older boy is really like me. Standing between the two men I love - my older son and memories of my late father, I realize that indeed, life is a full circle.

My mind is not as sharp as it used to be. It could be an overload of information as I read volumes and volumes of stuff everyday, ranging from literature to science to health to music to conspiracy theories and a teeny weeny bit on politics.

And it is so easy for me to forget important details such as my own telephone numbers or that of my friends/relatives, passwords, and the worse thing is when I write. Words zoom into my head as I write and disappear like a flash of lightning and then I have to google for it.

The other day, I added three instead of four cups of flour when making my bread. Of late, I have made some spelling errors in my blog titles (No REHrets instead of No Regrets for my other blog. By the time I realized it, it was too late as the feed had been burnt and subscribers received the one with the errata. It's the same for this joke I put in this blog. I forgot to change the size of parrot and got the shock of my life when I saw it on my phone while waiting to pick up my son from class!

All these senior moments remind me of the fragility and the brevity of life. I could not understand how my late dad could forget stuff. As he had always been such an organized person, so on top of things and so efficient, I could not (years ago) understand why in the last few years of his life, he was always misplacing things, phoning me to lament how he had lost this and that and then a few days later to say that he had found them. But now I do because I am exactly like my dad used to be and my son is quite similar to what I used to be.

Unbelievably, I am at that stage of my life now but the difference is - I am still er....considerably 'young' :-). Yet, my memory faileth me. Some don't understand why I blog. It is not for $$$ because you can see I have no advertisements in my blog. I don't earn but instead, have spent a lot for my blog, all at my own expense. Some readers have offered donations of cash but I have never accepted any offer (although I would not mind a new computer - kidding) But I blog to keep sane in this senseless world and to keep mentally agile...to pour out my thoughts for otherwise, in my very reclusive and I-don't-want-to-meet-people-unless- absolutely-necessary-mood, it is easy to become intellectually sterile.

Yes, I know age is a number but as the days pass by, as more white hair groweth and even more hair falleth to the floor, I take every opportunity to seize the day and to tell my loved ones how much I love them - everyday! And I try to do all I want to do, go where I have dreamt of going, accomplish the stuff that I want to do and to achieve my dreams because tomorrow might never come!!!

The past two months, I have come to the realization that I had spent a lot of time helping others because of my political idealism only to realize that alas, things are not as simple and 'pure' as I thought, and people are not as 'real' as I had hoped. But it was a good wake-up call. In giving of my time to helping others regardless of whether they appreciated or 'used' me, I learnt a lot and at least I can die knowing that I answered the call to duty in a certain way. I have no bitterness or anger and am totally blase to that part of my past.When that chapter of my life closed, a new one began - that of coming to terms with my senior moments.

The following video really speaks of what is in my heart and how I feel at this juncture of my life. Every morning when I awake at 6.15am, I am thankful for yet another day to live, to love and when I go to sleep, I am thankful for yet another day that has passed.

Dear reader, take time to smell the roses, to take one day at a time. Call your mom or dad to tell them you miss them. Most importantly, make beautiful memories with your loved ones for them to remember you, for tomorrow might never come....

Take care and do leave a comment to share your thoughts and responses. Have a beautiful day and a wonderful life!

3 comments to A Full Circle

  1. says:

    edward Dear MWS,

    What you had written is so touching and true. Time passes by so quickly just like a blink of an eye as the saying goes. As it is half a year had gone by already. Somehow after 50, times passes doubly quick. Do you agree?

    I do not know how long I am going to live or when my health will begin to fail me. When the time comes for me to leave I hope that God will grant me serenity and peace as I transit into the next realm. In the meantime I will continue to enjoy the journey, learn to age gracefully, strive to be both compassionate and kind and most of all, to love selflessly. Carpe Diem.


  1. says:

    UP41 Signs of old age: you cry without tears, tears when you laugh; sleep when sitting and awake lying on bed; remember events years ago , forget where is the car key you hold in yr hands a moment ago.

    as we age, things that work perfectly may just stop working without warning, things we eat without problem yesterday become poison today.

    Today I can comment on yr blog & hope I may comment another decades or 2. But we never know as dead is beyond our control

  1. says:

    Bunny ahhh death. the great equalizer.

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